(no subject)
Mal: "We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so...very...pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die."
Wash: "Everything looks good from here... (beat...playing with plastic dinosaurs over his console) Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive."
(as Stegosaurus) "We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... 'This Land'."
(as T-Rex) "I think we should call it...your grave!"
(Stegosaurus) "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"
(T-Rex) "Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh...now die!"
Mal: "I just wanted you to face me so she could get behind you." (Zoe punches the thug out) "Drunks are so cute."
Jayne: "Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command."
Zoe: "Proximity alert. Must be coming up on something."
Wash: (alarmed) "Oh my god. What can it be? We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing!?" (deadpan) "Oh right, that would be me. Back to work."
Alliance Commander: "You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war?"
Zoe: "Fought with a lot of people in the war."
Alliance Commander: "And your husband?"
Zoe: "Fight with him sometimes, too."
Wash: (Off an alarm sounding from the console) "Closing in."
Zoe: "Planet's coming up a mite fast."
Wash: "That's just cause I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all."
Mal: "Well, that happens, let me know."
Harrow: "You have to finish it, lad. You have to finish it. For a man to lay beaten... and yet breathing? It makes him a coward."
Inara: "It's humiliation."
Mal: "Sure. It would be humiliating. Having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man. (lightly stabs Atherton with the sword) Guess I'm just a good man. (stabs him again) Well, I'm all right."
Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."
Wash: "Hey, I've been in a firefight before! Well, I was in a fire." (beat) "Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity."
Wash: "I mean, I'm the one she swore to love, honor and obey."
Mal: "Listen..." (beat) "She swore to obey?"
Wash: "Well, no, not... But that's just my point! You she obeys! She obeys you! There's obeying going on right under my nose!"
Zoe: "Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?
Book: "Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps."
Monty: "Damn you, Bridget! Damn you ta Hades! You broke my heart in a million pieces! You made me love you, and then y-- I SHAVED MY BEARD FOR YOU, DEVIL WOMAN!"
Kaylee: "Everybody's got somebody..." (wistfully) "Wash, tell me I'm pretty..."
Wash: "Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion."
Kaylee: " 'Cause I'm pretty?"
Wash: " 'Cause you're pretty."
Kaylee: "Thank you. That was very restorative."
Wash: "Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next?"
Zoe: "Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss-up."
Wash: "I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it."
Mal: "But she does have an oddness to her. And I ain't just talking about her proficiency with firearms. Girl knows things. Things she shouldn't. Things she couldn't."
Jayne: "Wha-...are you-are you sayin' she's a witch?"
Wash: (sarcastically) "Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the beast."
Jayne: "She's in Congress?"
Wash: (amazed) "How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious."
Wash: "Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction."
Zoe: "We live in a space ship, dear."
Murphy: Why Banning Miller. What a vision you are in your fine dress. It must have taken a dozen slaves a dozen days to get you into that getup. 'Course your daddy tells me it takes the space of a schoolboy's wink to get you out of it again.
Kaylee: Oh, gosh, I... I-I knew she took females as clients... I just... They look so glamorous together.
Jayne: I'll be in my bunk.
Simon: I don't know. I, uh... I never-never shot anyone before.
Book: I was there, son. I'm fair sure you haven't shot anyone yet.
Mal: Your husband has demanded that we sleep together.
Zoe: Really?
Wash: What? Mal, come on.
Mal: He seems to think it would get all this burning sexual tension out in the open -- you know, make a fair fight for your womanly affections.
Wash: No. That was the torture talking. Remember? The torture?
Zoe: Take me, sir. Take me hard.
Jayne: Now somethin' about that is just downright unsettling.
Simon: You're in a dangerous line of work, Jayne. Odds are, you'll be under my knife again. Often. So I want you to understand one thing very clearly. No matter what you do, or say, or plot... no matter how you come down on us I will never ever harm you. You're on this table you're safe. I'm your medic, and however little we may like or trust each other, we're on the same crew. Got the same troubles, same enemies and more than enough of both. Now we could circle each other and growl, both sleep with one eye open but that thought wearies me. I don't care what you've done. I don't know what you're planning on doing, but I'm trusting you. I think you should do the same, cause I don't see this working any other way.
River: Also, I can kill you with my brain.
Jayne: "My dear boy. I hope you are well and that you get this soon in your travels. Thank you for the credits you forwarded, they have helped as Matty is still sick with the Damplung. He waves hello, and so does your father. He is in good spirits and there was layoffs but the foreman said no one can weld like a Cobb so he has employment still. I made you the enclosed Ooh! Enclosed! The enclosed to keep you warm on your travels. Hope to hear from you soon, love, mother." How's it sit? Pretty cunning, don'tchya think?
Wash: A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.
Jayne: Damn straight.
Tracey: He was cuttin' on me, Sarge!
Mal: I know it! I told him to!
Tracey: You told him to! What for?!
Mal: You were dead!
Tracey: Hunh? Oh. Right. Suppose I was.
Jayne: Anybody remember her comin' at me with a butcher's knife?
Wash: Wacky fun.
Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.
Simon: Come on out, River. The nice man wants to kidnap you.
Early: Man is stronger by far than woman, yet only woman can create a child. Does that seem right to you?
River: I'm not on the ship. I'm in the ship. I am the ship.
Simon: River...
River: River's gone.
Early: Then who exactly are we talking to?
River: You're talking to Serenity. And, Early... Serenity is very unhappy.
Early: Where'd she go?
Simon: I can't keep track of her when she's not incorporeally possessing a space ship. Don't look at me.
Simon: What am I? Your advocate?
Early: You are starting now.
Simon: He's really very... gentle... and fuzzy. We're becoming fast friends.
Early: You folks are all insane.
Simon: Well, my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.
River: Permission to come aboard?
Mal: You know, you ain't quite right.
River: It's the popular theory.
Mal: Go on. Get in there. Give your brother a thrashing for messing up your plan.
River: He takes so much looking after.
Wash: "Everything looks good from here... (beat...playing with plastic dinosaurs over his console) Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive."
(as Stegosaurus) "We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... 'This Land'."
(as T-Rex) "I think we should call it...your grave!"
(Stegosaurus) "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"
(T-Rex) "Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh...now die!"
Mal: "I just wanted you to face me so she could get behind you." (Zoe punches the thug out) "Drunks are so cute."
Jayne: "Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command."
Zoe: "Proximity alert. Must be coming up on something."
Wash: (alarmed) "Oh my god. What can it be? We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing!?" (deadpan) "Oh right, that would be me. Back to work."
Alliance Commander: "You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war?"
Zoe: "Fought with a lot of people in the war."
Alliance Commander: "And your husband?"
Zoe: "Fight with him sometimes, too."
Wash: (Off an alarm sounding from the console) "Closing in."
Zoe: "Planet's coming up a mite fast."
Wash: "That's just cause I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all."
Mal: "Well, that happens, let me know."
Harrow: "You have to finish it, lad. You have to finish it. For a man to lay beaten... and yet breathing? It makes him a coward."
Inara: "It's humiliation."
Mal: "Sure. It would be humiliating. Having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man. (lightly stabs Atherton with the sword) Guess I'm just a good man. (stabs him again) Well, I'm all right."
Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."
Wash: "Hey, I've been in a firefight before! Well, I was in a fire." (beat) "Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity."
Wash: "I mean, I'm the one she swore to love, honor and obey."
Mal: "Listen..." (beat) "She swore to obey?"
Wash: "Well, no, not... But that's just my point! You she obeys! She obeys you! There's obeying going on right under my nose!"
Zoe: "Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?
Book: "Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps."
Monty: "Damn you, Bridget! Damn you ta Hades! You broke my heart in a million pieces! You made me love you, and then y-- I SHAVED MY BEARD FOR YOU, DEVIL WOMAN!"
Kaylee: "Everybody's got somebody..." (wistfully) "Wash, tell me I'm pretty..."
Wash: "Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion."
Kaylee: " 'Cause I'm pretty?"
Wash: " 'Cause you're pretty."
Kaylee: "Thank you. That was very restorative."
Wash: "Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next?"
Zoe: "Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss-up."
Wash: "I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it."
Mal: "But she does have an oddness to her. And I ain't just talking about her proficiency with firearms. Girl knows things. Things she shouldn't. Things she couldn't."
Jayne: "Wha-...are you-are you sayin' she's a witch?"
Wash: (sarcastically) "Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the beast."
Jayne: "She's in Congress?"
Wash: (amazed) "How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious."
Wash: "Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction."
Zoe: "We live in a space ship, dear."
Murphy: Why Banning Miller. What a vision you are in your fine dress. It must have taken a dozen slaves a dozen days to get you into that getup. 'Course your daddy tells me it takes the space of a schoolboy's wink to get you out of it again.
Kaylee: Oh, gosh, I... I-I knew she took females as clients... I just... They look so glamorous together.
Jayne: I'll be in my bunk.
Simon: I don't know. I, uh... I never-never shot anyone before.
Book: I was there, son. I'm fair sure you haven't shot anyone yet.
Mal: Your husband has demanded that we sleep together.
Zoe: Really?
Wash: What? Mal, come on.
Mal: He seems to think it would get all this burning sexual tension out in the open -- you know, make a fair fight for your womanly affections.
Wash: No. That was the torture talking. Remember? The torture?
Zoe: Take me, sir. Take me hard.
Jayne: Now somethin' about that is just downright unsettling.
Simon: You're in a dangerous line of work, Jayne. Odds are, you'll be under my knife again. Often. So I want you to understand one thing very clearly. No matter what you do, or say, or plot... no matter how you come down on us I will never ever harm you. You're on this table you're safe. I'm your medic, and however little we may like or trust each other, we're on the same crew. Got the same troubles, same enemies and more than enough of both. Now we could circle each other and growl, both sleep with one eye open but that thought wearies me. I don't care what you've done. I don't know what you're planning on doing, but I'm trusting you. I think you should do the same, cause I don't see this working any other way.
River: Also, I can kill you with my brain.
Jayne: "My dear boy. I hope you are well and that you get this soon in your travels. Thank you for the credits you forwarded, they have helped as Matty is still sick with the Damplung. He waves hello, and so does your father. He is in good spirits and there was layoffs but the foreman said no one can weld like a Cobb so he has employment still. I made you the enclosed Ooh! Enclosed! The enclosed to keep you warm on your travels. Hope to hear from you soon, love, mother." How's it sit? Pretty cunning, don'tchya think?
Wash: A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.
Jayne: Damn straight.
Tracey: He was cuttin' on me, Sarge!
Mal: I know it! I told him to!
Tracey: You told him to! What for?!
Mal: You were dead!
Tracey: Hunh? Oh. Right. Suppose I was.
Jayne: Anybody remember her comin' at me with a butcher's knife?
Wash: Wacky fun.
Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.
Simon: Come on out, River. The nice man wants to kidnap you.
Early: Man is stronger by far than woman, yet only woman can create a child. Does that seem right to you?
River: I'm not on the ship. I'm in the ship. I am the ship.
Simon: River...
River: River's gone.
Early: Then who exactly are we talking to?
River: You're talking to Serenity. And, Early... Serenity is very unhappy.
Early: Where'd she go?
Simon: I can't keep track of her when she's not incorporeally possessing a space ship. Don't look at me.
Simon: What am I? Your advocate?
Early: You are starting now.
Simon: He's really very... gentle... and fuzzy. We're becoming fast friends.
Early: You folks are all insane.
Simon: Well, my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.
River: Permission to come aboard?
Mal: You know, you ain't quite right.
River: It's the popular theory.
Mal: Go on. Get in there. Give your brother a thrashing for messing up your plan.
River: He takes so much looking after.