I feel like crying...
So today I woke up at 8 a.m. to the annoying sound of my alarm clock. Pressed snooze. 10 minutes later I did it again. For two hours every ten minutes I would press snooze on my alarm clock until I had to get up to iron my shirt for work, shave, shower, and eat. I haven't been eating that much. Since sunday I will list what I've had. 5 weight loss shakes, cause they're all I have in my house and I haven't had time to eat anything, 2 pieces of calamari, a plate of fried rice and 3 pieces of sweet and sour chicken, and a tiny bit of pasta.... and a pazookie last night. I have lost my appetite. So back to my day. I got out of bed with a soar throat and a weird feeling on my lips from putting on chapstick before I went to sleep and it all wore off and my lips hurt. I ironed my shirt, pants, apron, and tie while watching the MTV awards and drinking a weight loss shake. I left for work at 11:30, I was stationed in the outside section of my work but the tables wern't set up so I was the designated food runner. I was cut after 2 1/2 hours and went home. Laurel came over for a half an hour just so I could see her, then was planning on going over to Max's but my mom called and told me that my Grampa is coming over for my sister's graduation from UCSB tomorrow. I wanted to see my Grampa and didn't want to hit the Ronald Reagan traffic so I stayed home. I went outside to play basketbal with my brother and my Grampa pulled up right when we started. So we shot for a little bit then went inside and turned on Reagan's funeral coverage. I was never a fan of his, never really knew much about him. I visited the Library a few times when I was a kid, learned about him in elementary school but it didn't bother me when he died. So I was watching with my family and I felt like crying when Nancy was handed the flag that lay on her dead husbands casket. She lay her head upon his coffin and whispered too it, telling the casket how much she loved him and started crying until her kids came to her side. After that I had dinner with my family and just looked at my Grampa the whole time. My Grampa is so loving and has been doing so good since my Grama died six years ago. He works out every day, has a healthy diet, keeps busy, dates, plays cards. The thing is, is that I'm not ready to lose him. His memory has been going and it's hard to hear him struggle for the words he's trying to think of. He doesn't even remember my Grama that much. I sat outside and smoked a cigar with my dad, mom, and Grampa and had to hear that everything about him is healthy, just got a cancer check up, normal physical, heart stuff, x-rays, all that jazz, but also had to hear the long list of med's he has to take, and had to hear him try and remember which ones they are. So I had to go inside cause I felt like crying. I started to tear up looking at a picture of my grama up in my room and found the teddy bear she gave me when I was in 1st grade that I have had on my bed for all this time but had lost him under my bed and forgot about him till now. It's strange because this is the first time that I cried for my Grama. I never cried over her death. Maybe my Grampa had something to do with it but....I don't know. I have to be awake at 5 and all I want to do is take somthing to make me fall asleep. I have a long day ahead of me.