If I was....
If I were a king I would...lie in my bed till noon then go for a dip in my swimming pool of gold coins.
If I were the president...I would have an affair with a hot intern and put Bill Clinto too shame, then let all my gay friends get married.
If i were homeless...I would never stop traveling, and sell hotdogs on Hollywood and LaBrea to drunk kids on weekends.
If I were a woman...I would find the biggest thing I could and stick it in my vagina.
If I were a celebrity...I would go out with all my famous friends and best friends and then find a young theatre group trying to get off it's feet and give them money to produce it.
If I were a teacher...I would make every word out of my mouth worth listening.
If I were a dad...I would take my kids to a dodger game and pigout on peanuts and dodger dogs.
If I was old...I would rock on my rocking chair from dusk till dark with a cigar in one hand a nursery rhyme book in the other and my grandchild on my knee.
If I was Rolland...I would shave my back.
If I was a dog...I would lick my own nuts and drink out of the toilet.
If I were in paradise...I would watch the sunset over the ocean with a corona and a blunt.
If i were a basketball star...I would play for the Lakers and kill the Kings.
If I were a hitman...I would kill Bibby.
If I was gay...I would have sex with Johnny Depp. (Wait what?)
If I were the president...I would have an affair with a hot intern and put Bill Clinto too shame, then let all my gay friends get married.
If i were homeless...I would never stop traveling, and sell hotdogs on Hollywood and LaBrea to drunk kids on weekends.
If I were a woman...I would find the biggest thing I could and stick it in my vagina.
If I were a celebrity...I would go out with all my famous friends and best friends and then find a young theatre group trying to get off it's feet and give them money to produce it.
If I were a teacher...I would make every word out of my mouth worth listening.
If I were a dad...I would take my kids to a dodger game and pigout on peanuts and dodger dogs.
If I was old...I would rock on my rocking chair from dusk till dark with a cigar in one hand a nursery rhyme book in the other and my grandchild on my knee.
If I was Rolland...I would shave my back.
If I was a dog...I would lick my own nuts and drink out of the toilet.
If I were in paradise...I would watch the sunset over the ocean with a corona and a blunt.
If i were a basketball star...I would play for the Lakers and kill the Kings.
If I were a hitman...I would kill Bibby.
If I was gay...I would have sex with Johnny Depp. (Wait what?)