(no subject)
My current status on aim asks whether I'm invisible or just easily forgettable. Sometimes it seems that it takes a twist of the arm or even an act of God for someone to acknowledge my presence or to even bother saying hey to me. Sometimes it really gets old being the one to initiate a conversation, both offline and online, but if I don't, the likelihood that anyone would give me a second thought is next to none. Maybe it's because I'm relatively quiet and keep to myself unless spoken to. Maybe it is my own fault, but because it takes an act of God to receive any sort of conversation or acknowledgment, it actually hurts.
My mother convinced me to not work this summer and of course I was happy to oblige that request. Anyone would if they got out of working minimum wage at a place you hated. She had told me at the beginning of the summer that we were going to do loads of things together since this was technically my last summer before heading out into the real world, getting a job, my own place, and paying a crap load of bills. None of the things she said we'd do have happened and I eave in six days. All she has done is sleep, whine over my sister leaving yet again, and sit in her bed to dictate order to my step-father and I. Just now, for example, she walked across the hall to ask me to take the puppies out to potty so she could go to bed. It would have been less taxing if she had just opened the door to let them out and took care of her nightly things like she was doing and let them in. But no, it's too much trouble.
I tell her that she can't even bother to say hello to me on the off chance that she's up, but she can have a conversation with my sister whenever she calls. She tells me I'm jealous, which I'm obviously not; I have nothing to be jealous over. But that goes to show how very little she thinks of me.
And you know, the only conversation I get daily is with my puppies. Talking to them throughout the day is the only time I physically speak. And sometimes the only time I get a conversation during the day - both online and offline.
So it's not abnormal for me to be upset and constantly on the verge of tears. But I sincerely doubt that anyone cares beyond a moment of pitiful sympathy on the off chance someone reads this. Because, if someone actually cared, there would be more than sparring comments. Instead, there would be real conversations and real friendships and real relationships, but in today's age, those no longer exist.
My mother convinced me to not work this summer and of course I was happy to oblige that request. Anyone would if they got out of working minimum wage at a place you hated. She had told me at the beginning of the summer that we were going to do loads of things together since this was technically my last summer before heading out into the real world, getting a job, my own place, and paying a crap load of bills. None of the things she said we'd do have happened and I eave in six days. All she has done is sleep, whine over my sister leaving yet again, and sit in her bed to dictate order to my step-father and I. Just now, for example, she walked across the hall to ask me to take the puppies out to potty so she could go to bed. It would have been less taxing if she had just opened the door to let them out and took care of her nightly things like she was doing and let them in. But no, it's too much trouble.
I tell her that she can't even bother to say hello to me on the off chance that she's up, but she can have a conversation with my sister whenever she calls. She tells me I'm jealous, which I'm obviously not; I have nothing to be jealous over. But that goes to show how very little she thinks of me.
And you know, the only conversation I get daily is with my puppies. Talking to them throughout the day is the only time I physically speak. And sometimes the only time I get a conversation during the day - both online and offline.
So it's not abnormal for me to be upset and constantly on the verge of tears. But I sincerely doubt that anyone cares beyond a moment of pitiful sympathy on the off chance someone reads this. Because, if someone actually cared, there would be more than sparring comments. Instead, there would be real conversations and real friendships and real relationships, but in today's age, those no longer exist.