A Plea to Our Nation's Shadowy Overlords
Dear Shadowy Overlords,
I write to humbly (so very, very humbly) request that you reverse your decision respecting this year's election results. My reasons are threefold.
First, a McCain victory would confirm your existence, as reported by The Onion. An Obama victory, by contrast, would undermine that organization's journalistic integrity, making its reports appear satirical.
Second, Senator McCain has done a poor job of keeping your plans secret. Despite being down by double digits in Pennsylvania and a significant margin in Ohio he continues to definitively state he will win those states. For him to do so in the face of such obvious public opinion would also reveal your existence and control of the election.
Third, those on the political left really need a break.
Sincerely Yours,
Karl
I write to humbly (so very, very humbly) request that you reverse your decision respecting this year's election results. My reasons are threefold.
First, a McCain victory would confirm your existence, as reported by The Onion. An Obama victory, by contrast, would undermine that organization's journalistic integrity, making its reports appear satirical.
Second, Senator McCain has done a poor job of keeping your plans secret. Despite being down by double digits in Pennsylvania and a significant margin in Ohio he continues to definitively state he will win those states. For him to do so in the face of such obvious public opinion would also reveal your existence and control of the election.
Third, those on the political left really need a break.
Sincerely Yours,
Karl