The Perfectly Symbolic Fourth

[kazzman]

The Fourth of July is but a symbol,1 albeit one with different meanings to different individuals. Sure, we wave our miniature American flags2, chant U-S-A, and engage in all manner of xenophobic tendencies, but still, I've always found the symbolism lacking. This year I set out to change all that.

I started out by getting in touch with out roots:

1. Fish and chips for lunch
   
2. Tea in the afternoon
   
3. Listened to the Spice Girls

Following item 3, I began to understand the appeal of independence, so I embarked on the next phase of the journey:

1. Went to Gasworks Park, which was adorned with American flags
   
2. Read the John Adams biography for several hours amongst fellow patriots
   
3. Ate a hot dog and corn on the cob

Having been Americanized, I suddenly found myself with too short an attention span to sit around for five hours waiting for fireworks, so I returned home and, in one last bit of triumphant symbolism, continued with my free online Spanish lessons.3

1 And not just because Independence was actually declared on July 2nd (and not recognized until September 3, 1783).
2 Well, some do. Others get abortions.
3 I don't expect to so much "learn Spanish" as "amuse Spanish speakers"