Fanfiction: Dusk To Dawn, Chapter 1 [FFVIIAC]
Title: Dusk To Dawn
Chapter:Chapter One: Midnight
Previous Chapter: Prologue: Dusk
Genres: Angst/Romance
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: ??/Cloud Strife/Tifa Lockhart, side ??/Reno, side Zack/Aerith and Kadaj
Spoilers/Warnings: Some parts of Advent Children. Shounen-ai content.
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all related prequels and sequels belong to Square-Enix.
Summary: [Post AC] [Part II of the Between Worlds series] She didn't like being kept in the dark. Especially when the words "Cloud Strife" and "incessant brooding" were in the same sentence.
"Under...stands?"
The look on Cloud's face let Tifa know at once that Cloud hadn't meant to speak aloud. Or even whisper it out, because the quiet of the night allowed almost any sound to be heard quite clearly. It also let her know that Cloud knew that he had let slip one little detail that was a link to his problem. He probably knew well that Tifa would use it to her full advantage - she was too determined to get to the bottom of whatever that was bothering him by now.
She now watched Cloud intensely, knowing somehow that he was finally beginning to waver under that slip and the fact that it was the night, a time he was more susceptible than ever. Maybe he wouldn't tell her the whole thing at one go... but knowing just a little would help her get more of it out of him. She continued watching as Cloud sighed quietly, and the tension seemed to just leave his body as a sort of resignation entered his eyes.
"Yes, Tifa... Reno understands," he spoke with a kind of heaviness to his voice. "That's why he hasn't, and probably won't breathe a word to a single soul. Not now, not ever."
"What does he understand?" That I supposedly can't? Why would he understand?
Cloud once again looked uncomfortable. "That... uh that... kinda strays into his personal life too, Tifa..."
"If you'd told me straight out earlier, we wouldn't even have mentioned Reno... He'd have stayed wholly anonymous throughout the whole conversation and his personal life would never have been dragged in - unintentionally or not."
He winced a little, and rubbed his arm a little nervously. "There's no way you'll stop, right? Not tonight, not tomorrow night... not until you get it out from me, right?"
"I won't stop, until I hear what's bothering you. Just tell me, please."
"..."
"Be honest with me, Cloud. Please?"
"You'll wish you never wanted me to be honest with you about this once you hear it," the blond mumbled, mostly to himself although Tifa still caught it. Then in a slightly louder voice, he said with a note of resignation and slight apprehension tingeing an otherwise melancholy lilt, "What Reno understands is... is that... he knows what it's like to... to love someone who you knew never was within your grasp no matter how hard you try to reach... someone who was much too high above you to even possibly notice you for who you are... someone who is all that and more... and someone of that caliber who actually... actually loved you back..."
What Cloud said only made Tifa more confused than ever. But even so, the way the blond spoke... that sudden wistful, longing look that appeared in his eyes... even though he was looking at her eyes, he wasn't really seeing her... All those details had not been lost on her. Cloud was deeply in love with someone... someone that was unreachable... Not in the sense that she was dead, Tifa could tell... but like he was inferior and had always been... Although Tifa had already ruled her out, and Cloud's description didn't seem to fit at all... she still had to ask to be sure.
"I... take it that... it's not Aerith...?"
"...No... it's not her..."
"Okay..."
"...It's... It's not even a 'her'..."
Not even a 'her'... That meant... Was it because the person in Cloud's mind was a male that made him decide not to tell her about it?
"You wouldn't tell me who... because... because you think I'd be... I'd be..." She didn't even know what word to use. "...Because you love a male?"
The tired, weary look in Cloud's eyes was even more pronounced as he managed a weak chuckle at her question. "That's only partly the reason, only half the problem... though you accepted this part easier than I had imagined..."
"Oh..."
If that wasn't the main reason, that meant that the identity of the man was the key reason. Admittedly, it was a little shocking to hear Cloud admit that he did fancy men, but it was still acceptable... somewhat, she supposed. So what was it about the person's identity? Tifa didn't have time to think anymore as Cloud suddenly spoke.
"Tifa... I think that this is enough for you. I don't want to hurt you any further. If you continue to pry, I know you won't be able to take it. I'm still surprised that Reno didn't make a big commotion when he heard it... maybe the alcohol didn't let him process everything... It¡¯s, it's not something you want to hear. It's not something anybody would want to hear."
"I know that person, right?"
Cloud was hesitant to reply, but he did it anyway, "Yes, you know him... But please, Tifa, don't... don't ask who he is. Don't even try to guess... You don't want to know. You don't!"
"Cloud... I... If you're happy with him... then it's okay... but I just want to know whom. You can at least give me the privilege to be the first one to chide him for making you this depressed." Tifa hoped that her attempt to lighten the mood would make Cloud ease up and be able to freely tell her who that man was.
'It's okay?' What in nine hells do you mean 'it's okay'?! a voice in her mind screamed at her. It's not okay, for your boyfriend to suddenly admit to having another lover!! Tifa quickly shoved it away, firmly telling herself that ever since Meteor, she had only wanted Cloud to be happy. He had suffered for far too long and he deserved to live a blissful life. If that meant that he couldn't be with her, then... then so be it. Perhaps it was a way of making up to him for those childhood days in Nibelheim where she never really treated him all that nicely...
Strangely enough, Cloud actually laughed. It wasn't a joyful laugh though. The sound that came out from his lips was almost strangled. "I... you... can't... He... He's dead."
Dead. The voice in her mind was cooing with utterly gleeful joy and Tifa felt extremely guilty and disgusted by it. The other part of her, however, was in shock and she felt some sorrow too. It would explain why Cloud hadn't wanted to tell her anything in the beginning. Cloud never took the deaths of friends and loved ones very well and he tended to keep his grief to himself. Aerith and Zack were excellent, and luckily the only, examples of that. Zack... Zack... wait... although she had thought... it...
"Zack... is it him?" she heard herself ask softly.
Cloud shook his head and it left her stupefied.
Zack fit the description. Perfectly. Zack was a First Class SOLDIER, while Cloud had only been a trooper. All those in SOLDIER, regardless of class, were looked up upon, and Zack had been second to only one particular man... That made him very likely to be revered too. He definitely would've been deemed untouchable and unreachable although he was friendly with everyone.
Yet... yet Cloud denied that it was Zack.
"But... he fits..."
"He does, I know... but it isn't Zack. He was a very, very good friend, but we... He had always loved Aerith and only her, despite all his flirting."
"Then who Cloud? Nobody else fits the description!"
"There is, Tifa. There is. You probably know it in the back of your mind, but you just never thought it was possible. I know I never thought it was possible."
"There isn't. You're lying to me... there isn't."
"I'll ask you one last time Tifa... Just to be sure... even though I don't think it's wise to tell you... Do you really want to know the truth? Are you absolutely sure?"
"Yes. Yes, I am." As confused as she was, this was the one thing she was absolutely, totally, utterly certain about. "Whoever he is, I want to know. For someone to be loved so dearly by you... he can't be all that bad like what you seem to think I'll feel, right?"
"Right..." Cloud murmured dubiously as he leaned backwards to lie on the ground, his hands supporting his head. "I... I'm still not sure how to tell you... I..." There was a long pause as Cloud shut his eyes in contemplation. "Tifa, do you know how Kadaj looked, no, how Kadaj was when he died?"
Somehow, she knew that his question had some meaning to the whole thing, as strange as it was. So she answered, despite sorely wanting to question Cloud how in the world did Kadaj come into picture? "No... I was on the airship with the others..."
"He was so innocent... so childlike... If I hadn't been fighting him barely moments ago, I would never have thought he'd be capable of hurting anyone, let alone cause the havoc that he had. I probably wouldn't have known that he was the leader amongst his brothers. He was like a lost, scared little child looking frantically for his mother... Not JENOVA, probably never her at all... but someone who would really care for him and not use him like JENOVA did..."
"He left willingly... He had found someone who would love him for who he was just moments before he died... just as the healing rain came I believe. I think it was Aerith who held her hand out to him, to welcome him to a safe home forever... There's another side to Kadaj that I'm sure nobody, not his enemies have ever seen but me. I don't think anyone thought that he was so much like a child... so young and innocent."
"You're probably wondering why I'm telling you this Tifa... but just, just keep in mind that everyone has different sides to themselves... That what you see may not be what you get. Most of the time it's like that Tifa. With him... it always was..."
"...Who...?"
Cloud shut his eyes tightly and bit his lip. Up till now, he was still struggling to tell her who that mysterious person was. Why? Who was he?
Are you sure you still don't know, Tifa Lockhart? Or are you just in denial?
No, she didn't know. She wasn't in denial.
There has to be a reason for Cloud to bring up Kadaj. He could've told you that message about different sides to a person without using Kadaj's example specifically.
Cloud was just making a point. Just using the best example he could think of at that moment. That was all.
You know what Kadaj was... Tifa Lockhart. You definitely knew what - who - he could, and eventually did, turn into.
No. It couldn't be!!
"Tifa... I do love you. Even after you find out who he is... please believe me. I don't usually think about him... not in a long while... I really do love you."
"I know, I believe you... But who... Cloud...? Who?"
She saw him take a long, deep breath and let it out slowly. Then he turned to fix his brilliant glowing blue eyes on her steadfastly, as his mouth slowly formed a word, a name...
"...Sephiroth..."
So yes, it's a Sephiroth/Cloud/Tifa triangle sort of thing. ^^" Mmm... The part about Kadaj, I just had to include it, not just because it served as a foreshadowing to the identity of Cloud's lover (cause I think everyone who didn't know before should have guessed it once Zack was out of contention), but also because that moment in the movie was just so poignant. I very well would've cried had my friend not just shown me the fight with Bahamut SIN and the one of Cloud against Kadaj and Sephiroth when I first watched Advent Children. Oh yes, in case you didn't know, Reno's "mystery lover" is Rufus. They're my other yaoi OTP, although I have no clear idea when I fell in love with them. ^^
The next chapter will be the epilogue, and we'll all get to see Tifa's reaction to Cloud's answer (good or not, you'll just have to wait). It's short, I know. But I'm a little adverse to writing too long stories cause I either lose the motivation or get writer's block that doesn't seem to have signs of retreating.
Hope you enjoyed it so far! Feel free to comment! =D
x-posted to:
myprettypuppet
sephyfans
ctlove
acfiction
acyaoi
ffvii_yaoi
Chapter:Chapter One: Midnight
Previous Chapter: Prologue: Dusk
Genres: Angst/Romance
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: ??/Cloud Strife/Tifa Lockhart, side ??/Reno, side Zack/Aerith and Kadaj
Spoilers/Warnings: Some parts of Advent Children. Shounen-ai content.
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all related prequels and sequels belong to Square-Enix.
Summary: [Post AC] [Part II of the Between Worlds series] She didn't like being kept in the dark. Especially when the words "Cloud Strife" and "incessant brooding" were in the same sentence.
"Under...stands?"
The look on Cloud's face let Tifa know at once that Cloud hadn't meant to speak aloud. Or even whisper it out, because the quiet of the night allowed almost any sound to be heard quite clearly. It also let her know that Cloud knew that he had let slip one little detail that was a link to his problem. He probably knew well that Tifa would use it to her full advantage - she was too determined to get to the bottom of whatever that was bothering him by now.
She now watched Cloud intensely, knowing somehow that he was finally beginning to waver under that slip and the fact that it was the night, a time he was more susceptible than ever. Maybe he wouldn't tell her the whole thing at one go... but knowing just a little would help her get more of it out of him. She continued watching as Cloud sighed quietly, and the tension seemed to just leave his body as a sort of resignation entered his eyes.
"Yes, Tifa... Reno understands," he spoke with a kind of heaviness to his voice. "That's why he hasn't, and probably won't breathe a word to a single soul. Not now, not ever."
"What does he understand?" That I supposedly can't? Why would he understand?
Cloud once again looked uncomfortable. "That... uh that... kinda strays into his personal life too, Tifa..."
"If you'd told me straight out earlier, we wouldn't even have mentioned Reno... He'd have stayed wholly anonymous throughout the whole conversation and his personal life would never have been dragged in - unintentionally or not."
He winced a little, and rubbed his arm a little nervously. "There's no way you'll stop, right? Not tonight, not tomorrow night... not until you get it out from me, right?"
"I won't stop, until I hear what's bothering you. Just tell me, please."
"..."
"Be honest with me, Cloud. Please?"
"You'll wish you never wanted me to be honest with you about this once you hear it," the blond mumbled, mostly to himself although Tifa still caught it. Then in a slightly louder voice, he said with a note of resignation and slight apprehension tingeing an otherwise melancholy lilt, "What Reno understands is... is that... he knows what it's like to... to love someone who you knew never was within your grasp no matter how hard you try to reach... someone who was much too high above you to even possibly notice you for who you are... someone who is all that and more... and someone of that caliber who actually... actually loved you back..."
What Cloud said only made Tifa more confused than ever. But even so, the way the blond spoke... that sudden wistful, longing look that appeared in his eyes... even though he was looking at her eyes, he wasn't really seeing her... All those details had not been lost on her. Cloud was deeply in love with someone... someone that was unreachable... Not in the sense that she was dead, Tifa could tell... but like he was inferior and had always been... Although Tifa had already ruled her out, and Cloud's description didn't seem to fit at all... she still had to ask to be sure.
"I... take it that... it's not Aerith...?"
"...No... it's not her..."
"Okay..."
"...It's... It's not even a 'her'..."
Not even a 'her'... That meant... Was it because the person in Cloud's mind was a male that made him decide not to tell her about it?
"You wouldn't tell me who... because... because you think I'd be... I'd be..." She didn't even know what word to use. "...Because you love a male?"
The tired, weary look in Cloud's eyes was even more pronounced as he managed a weak chuckle at her question. "That's only partly the reason, only half the problem... though you accepted this part easier than I had imagined..."
"Oh..."
If that wasn't the main reason, that meant that the identity of the man was the key reason. Admittedly, it was a little shocking to hear Cloud admit that he did fancy men, but it was still acceptable... somewhat, she supposed. So what was it about the person's identity? Tifa didn't have time to think anymore as Cloud suddenly spoke.
"Tifa... I think that this is enough for you. I don't want to hurt you any further. If you continue to pry, I know you won't be able to take it. I'm still surprised that Reno didn't make a big commotion when he heard it... maybe the alcohol didn't let him process everything... It¡¯s, it's not something you want to hear. It's not something anybody would want to hear."
"I know that person, right?"
Cloud was hesitant to reply, but he did it anyway, "Yes, you know him... But please, Tifa, don't... don't ask who he is. Don't even try to guess... You don't want to know. You don't!"
"Cloud... I... If you're happy with him... then it's okay... but I just want to know whom. You can at least give me the privilege to be the first one to chide him for making you this depressed." Tifa hoped that her attempt to lighten the mood would make Cloud ease up and be able to freely tell her who that man was.
'It's okay?' What in nine hells do you mean 'it's okay'?! a voice in her mind screamed at her. It's not okay, for your boyfriend to suddenly admit to having another lover!! Tifa quickly shoved it away, firmly telling herself that ever since Meteor, she had only wanted Cloud to be happy. He had suffered for far too long and he deserved to live a blissful life. If that meant that he couldn't be with her, then... then so be it. Perhaps it was a way of making up to him for those childhood days in Nibelheim where she never really treated him all that nicely...
Strangely enough, Cloud actually laughed. It wasn't a joyful laugh though. The sound that came out from his lips was almost strangled. "I... you... can't... He... He's dead."
Dead. The voice in her mind was cooing with utterly gleeful joy and Tifa felt extremely guilty and disgusted by it. The other part of her, however, was in shock and she felt some sorrow too. It would explain why Cloud hadn't wanted to tell her anything in the beginning. Cloud never took the deaths of friends and loved ones very well and he tended to keep his grief to himself. Aerith and Zack were excellent, and luckily the only, examples of that. Zack... Zack... wait... although she had thought... it...
"Zack... is it him?" she heard herself ask softly.
Cloud shook his head and it left her stupefied.
Zack fit the description. Perfectly. Zack was a First Class SOLDIER, while Cloud had only been a trooper. All those in SOLDIER, regardless of class, were looked up upon, and Zack had been second to only one particular man... That made him very likely to be revered too. He definitely would've been deemed untouchable and unreachable although he was friendly with everyone.
Yet... yet Cloud denied that it was Zack.
"But... he fits..."
"He does, I know... but it isn't Zack. He was a very, very good friend, but we... He had always loved Aerith and only her, despite all his flirting."
"Then who Cloud? Nobody else fits the description!"
"There is, Tifa. There is. You probably know it in the back of your mind, but you just never thought it was possible. I know I never thought it was possible."
"There isn't. You're lying to me... there isn't."
"I'll ask you one last time Tifa... Just to be sure... even though I don't think it's wise to tell you... Do you really want to know the truth? Are you absolutely sure?"
"Yes. Yes, I am." As confused as she was, this was the one thing she was absolutely, totally, utterly certain about. "Whoever he is, I want to know. For someone to be loved so dearly by you... he can't be all that bad like what you seem to think I'll feel, right?"
"Right..." Cloud murmured dubiously as he leaned backwards to lie on the ground, his hands supporting his head. "I... I'm still not sure how to tell you... I..." There was a long pause as Cloud shut his eyes in contemplation. "Tifa, do you know how Kadaj looked, no, how Kadaj was when he died?"
Somehow, she knew that his question had some meaning to the whole thing, as strange as it was. So she answered, despite sorely wanting to question Cloud how in the world did Kadaj come into picture? "No... I was on the airship with the others..."
"He was so innocent... so childlike... If I hadn't been fighting him barely moments ago, I would never have thought he'd be capable of hurting anyone, let alone cause the havoc that he had. I probably wouldn't have known that he was the leader amongst his brothers. He was like a lost, scared little child looking frantically for his mother... Not JENOVA, probably never her at all... but someone who would really care for him and not use him like JENOVA did..."
"He left willingly... He had found someone who would love him for who he was just moments before he died... just as the healing rain came I believe. I think it was Aerith who held her hand out to him, to welcome him to a safe home forever... There's another side to Kadaj that I'm sure nobody, not his enemies have ever seen but me. I don't think anyone thought that he was so much like a child... so young and innocent."
"You're probably wondering why I'm telling you this Tifa... but just, just keep in mind that everyone has different sides to themselves... That what you see may not be what you get. Most of the time it's like that Tifa. With him... it always was..."
"...Who...?"
Cloud shut his eyes tightly and bit his lip. Up till now, he was still struggling to tell her who that mysterious person was. Why? Who was he?
Are you sure you still don't know, Tifa Lockhart? Or are you just in denial?
No, she didn't know. She wasn't in denial.
There has to be a reason for Cloud to bring up Kadaj. He could've told you that message about different sides to a person without using Kadaj's example specifically.
Cloud was just making a point. Just using the best example he could think of at that moment. That was all.
You know what Kadaj was... Tifa Lockhart. You definitely knew what - who - he could, and eventually did, turn into.
No. It couldn't be!!
"Tifa... I do love you. Even after you find out who he is... please believe me. I don't usually think about him... not in a long while... I really do love you."
"I know, I believe you... But who... Cloud...? Who?"
She saw him take a long, deep breath and let it out slowly. Then he turned to fix his brilliant glowing blue eyes on her steadfastly, as his mouth slowly formed a word, a name...
"...Sephiroth..."
So yes, it's a Sephiroth/Cloud/Tifa triangle sort of thing. ^^" Mmm... The part about Kadaj, I just had to include it, not just because it served as a foreshadowing to the identity of Cloud's lover (cause I think everyone who didn't know before should have guessed it once Zack was out of contention), but also because that moment in the movie was just so poignant. I very well would've cried had my friend not just shown me the fight with Bahamut SIN and the one of Cloud against Kadaj and Sephiroth when I first watched Advent Children. Oh yes, in case you didn't know, Reno's "mystery lover" is Rufus. They're my other yaoi OTP, although I have no clear idea when I fell in love with them. ^^
The next chapter will be the epilogue, and we'll all get to see Tifa's reaction to Cloud's answer (good or not, you'll just have to wait). It's short, I know. But I'm a little adverse to writing too long stories cause I either lose the motivation or get writer's block that doesn't seem to have signs of retreating.
Hope you enjoyed it so far! Feel free to comment! =D
x-posted to:
myprettypuppet
sephyfans
ctlove
acfiction
acyaoi
ffvii_yaoi