(no subject)
writing here hasn't been on my top 10 list the past couple months. i know viewing is limited, which doesnt bother me because i generally prefer you stay out of my head, but sometimes i just need to get something out. today i need to get out that i am once again a heartbreaker...not to sound cocky and egotistical, and even the term heartbreaker might be a bit extreme...so apparently he's liked me for 2 years and has finally got the nerve to ask me out. we've been hanging out quite a bit and i knew that he liked me, but honastly i didnt think i was sending out i want to be with you vibes. maybe i was? i mean we did hang out and talk and stuff, but im just not feeling it. he's too much of a friend and i value that way more and there is a whole side of me that he doesn't know and a nice guy like him deserves a girl who will be madly in love with him and not just because everyone else says its a good idea. some may say i just wont let good things happen to me, but i know in my heart he is not the one for me. there are way to many signs that tell me so...like that fact that our conversation is so limited and at times very slow moving and difficult. the most we have in common is that we like moulin rouge and disney world, but it makes me nervous that he likes that...now that we have had "the talk" i know its going to be weird for a while, but i have faith that this will pass and we can continue to be friends. i pray that god has a wonderful girl for him who will be able to give him the girlfriend love and support that i cannot provide. so with that im going to say amen and head off to bed. any ?'s feel free to ask.