(no subject)
It's been awhile, receptacle of vanity!
Blah blah blah. Got dumped again and that was pretty hard. Mostly because i realize the chick was out of her mind (read: strung out and bipolar) but it's pretty hard because I still think about her a lot probably due to the fact that 7 months was the longest I've had since the 4 year thing that ended around 4 years ago. I just hope she hasn't killed herself (something I prevented once or twice) or became a junkie whore (something I apparently saved her from). Truth be told it's probably better to not have that in my life.
Weird things happeened. So 2 days after I found it was officially over I was just lounging at Nolan's in Adam's Morgan having a beer (a bit drunk already) and recognized a girl I had hit on (successfully I thought) at a party a year earlier. She recognized me and remembered my name (and I had different hair color/style back then). Somehow in my apathy and drunkenness I lured her back to my place since I now only live 5 blocks from AM. Fought every fiber of my being to take this girl out several times after and even managed making down-town Julie Browns with her a few times. I felt bad about that because she told me she'd only ever been with one guy before and lost her virginity at 21. But then I realized girls lie (it's in their nature) and evened my karma out (atleast in my own mind).
It occured to me that the voice in my head that kept telling me I wasn't interested might not be the fact I make horrible decisions, BUT INFACT ALLEGEDLY that i just wasn't interested. So now I'VE become the one that fucks someone over. But I wouldn't be having that. So I devised a genius plan (ala Seinfeld's Manag au tau) in that I wouldn't Have to break her heart and come out clean: I would be myself.
Most people (i think) when they're first getting to know someone don't give them the 100%. They have to ease the person into their world. Or maybe it's just me. I usually start out nice, sweet, polite and then start cracking the offensive joke here and there, sexist comment or 2 until the girl realizes we're dating and the guy's a vulgar/vain jerk. So I put my plan into action the next time I see her. I show up late and drunk (but she doesn't know I'm drunk). I bring an indie Documentary DVD for us to watch and drink 4 beers in the process. When I use the bathroom in her room (it was like a dorm) I rip these LOUD farts. Needless to say, I didn't hear from her again and it wasn't because I told her not to call me anymore. Genius.
Thanks to that I was able to dive back into that feeling of me liking being single that was usually so hard to get back. That INCLUDES when a friend of a friend asks me to come out on a Sunday to do an all day drink-a-thon I hem and haw and then agree to it. This somehow lead to boomtowns, a slight awkwardness the next time seeing her and then the cycle all over again of the good feelings for the first couple of months. Thing is: I'm still in those first couple of months and this one treats me really well and I like her a whole lots and vice versa.
Now I've jinxed it. I've done this before and ended whatever I wrote in here with pessimism, but you know what? This is coming from someone that was completely opposed to relationships of any kind for a few years. Then when I got one it was reluctantly until it ended and then i mourned it because they were so few and far between. This time I get sex back 2 days after the dumping of a life time, break that one off and fall unknowingly into something even better. The "GF" "BF" hasn't been tossed around because I'm still a neurotic, aloof idiot but my 15 or 20 year old self would call me a whiny bitch to not appreciate all this activity in the past year or 2. So instead of talking about how "that must mean it's all going to end soon", I'll end with this:
Balls.
Blah blah blah. Got dumped again and that was pretty hard. Mostly because i realize the chick was out of her mind (read: strung out and bipolar) but it's pretty hard because I still think about her a lot probably due to the fact that 7 months was the longest I've had since the 4 year thing that ended around 4 years ago. I just hope she hasn't killed herself (something I prevented once or twice) or became a junkie whore (something I apparently saved her from). Truth be told it's probably better to not have that in my life.
Weird things happeened. So 2 days after I found it was officially over I was just lounging at Nolan's in Adam's Morgan having a beer (a bit drunk already) and recognized a girl I had hit on (successfully I thought) at a party a year earlier. She recognized me and remembered my name (and I had different hair color/style back then). Somehow in my apathy and drunkenness I lured her back to my place since I now only live 5 blocks from AM. Fought every fiber of my being to take this girl out several times after and even managed making down-town Julie Browns with her a few times. I felt bad about that because she told me she'd only ever been with one guy before and lost her virginity at 21. But then I realized girls lie (it's in their nature) and evened my karma out (atleast in my own mind).
It occured to me that the voice in my head that kept telling me I wasn't interested might not be the fact I make horrible decisions, BUT INFACT ALLEGEDLY that i just wasn't interested. So now I'VE become the one that fucks someone over. But I wouldn't be having that. So I devised a genius plan (ala Seinfeld's Manag au tau) in that I wouldn't Have to break her heart and come out clean: I would be myself.
Most people (i think) when they're first getting to know someone don't give them the 100%. They have to ease the person into their world. Or maybe it's just me. I usually start out nice, sweet, polite and then start cracking the offensive joke here and there, sexist comment or 2 until the girl realizes we're dating and the guy's a vulgar/vain jerk. So I put my plan into action the next time I see her. I show up late and drunk (but she doesn't know I'm drunk). I bring an indie Documentary DVD for us to watch and drink 4 beers in the process. When I use the bathroom in her room (it was like a dorm) I rip these LOUD farts. Needless to say, I didn't hear from her again and it wasn't because I told her not to call me anymore. Genius.
Thanks to that I was able to dive back into that feeling of me liking being single that was usually so hard to get back. That INCLUDES when a friend of a friend asks me to come out on a Sunday to do an all day drink-a-thon I hem and haw and then agree to it. This somehow lead to boomtowns, a slight awkwardness the next time seeing her and then the cycle all over again of the good feelings for the first couple of months. Thing is: I'm still in those first couple of months and this one treats me really well and I like her a whole lots and vice versa.
Now I've jinxed it. I've done this before and ended whatever I wrote in here with pessimism, but you know what? This is coming from someone that was completely opposed to relationships of any kind for a few years. Then when I got one it was reluctantly until it ended and then i mourned it because they were so few and far between. This time I get sex back 2 days after the dumping of a life time, break that one off and fall unknowingly into something even better. The "GF" "BF" hasn't been tossed around because I'm still a neurotic, aloof idiot but my 15 or 20 year old self would call me a whiny bitch to not appreciate all this activity in the past year or 2. So instead of talking about how "that must mean it's all going to end soon", I'll end with this:
Balls.