Because honestly, sometimes, it's just like this...
“Curiously Disturbing Library Haiku”
By Gaetano Abbondanza
Glendora Public Library
Right Now
I need a computer
Can you wait just a few minutes?
I hate this library
A Proper Reference Interview; or, TMI
I’d like a book on crabs
Saltwater crabs or freshwater?
Which kind makes you itch worse?
A matter of Principle
This is not right at all!
My taxes pay your salary!
Remove this ten cent fine!
Yes
I’d like all the answers
To my assignment in one book
Is that too much to ask?
Make Yourself at Home
Sir, you’re right; it’s fine to
Relax in the library but
Please roll up your blanket
Story-Time Run Amok
Young lady, please sit down
Wow, that machete looks pretty
Sharp; fine we’ll sing again
Can You Hear Me Now?
No, I won’t take this phone
Outside; this is an important
Call- “Just hanging out, you?”
Cleanup Needed in the Picture Book Area
Little boy, don’t cry, here
Is your mother; there you go, bye!
Where did that stain come from?
Pretend You Didn’t Hear that, Kids
Story-time always goes
Better after a nice stiff drink
Did I say that out loud?
Roving Reference
Ma’am, I know that this is
The Restroom, but is there any-
Thing I can help you with?
Inappropriate Use of the Internet
Sir, what you are viewing
Is illegal in all fifty
States and probably Guam.
Next Time, I’ll Just Radio in for an Airstrike
Sorry, ma’am, the program’s
Full- yes, I see your kids are sad
Really, ma’am, such language!
Hanky-Panky in the Fiction Stacks
Break it up, you two! (The
Chemistry section is much bet-
ter for that type of thing)
The Author’s Lament
Sir, your book regarding
The diurnal habits of owls
Does not quite meet our needs
I’m Glad you Trust Me, But….
Sir, I don’t recognize
That rash; please button up your shirt
Let’s try a book instead
Toxic Materials
Yes, we carry Harry
Potter; no need to pray for my
Soul, thanks for your offer
By Gaetano Abbondanza
Glendora Public Library
Right Now
I need a computer
Can you wait just a few minutes?
I hate this library
A Proper Reference Interview; or, TMI
I’d like a book on crabs
Saltwater crabs or freshwater?
Which kind makes you itch worse?
A matter of Principle
This is not right at all!
My taxes pay your salary!
Remove this ten cent fine!
Yes
I’d like all the answers
To my assignment in one book
Is that too much to ask?
Make Yourself at Home
Sir, you’re right; it’s fine to
Relax in the library but
Please roll up your blanket
Story-Time Run Amok
Young lady, please sit down
Wow, that machete looks pretty
Sharp; fine we’ll sing again
Can You Hear Me Now?
No, I won’t take this phone
Outside; this is an important
Call- “Just hanging out, you?”
Cleanup Needed in the Picture Book Area
Little boy, don’t cry, here
Is your mother; there you go, bye!
Where did that stain come from?
Pretend You Didn’t Hear that, Kids
Story-time always goes
Better after a nice stiff drink
Did I say that out loud?
Roving Reference
Ma’am, I know that this is
The Restroom, but is there any-
Thing I can help you with?
Inappropriate Use of the Internet
Sir, what you are viewing
Is illegal in all fifty
States and probably Guam.
Next Time, I’ll Just Radio in for an Airstrike
Sorry, ma’am, the program’s
Full- yes, I see your kids are sad
Really, ma’am, such language!
Hanky-Panky in the Fiction Stacks
Break it up, you two! (The
Chemistry section is much bet-
ter for that type of thing)
The Author’s Lament
Sir, your book regarding
The diurnal habits of owls
Does not quite meet our needs
I’m Glad you Trust Me, But….
Sir, I don’t recognize
That rash; please button up your shirt
Let’s try a book instead
Toxic Materials
Yes, we carry Harry
Potter; no need to pray for my
Soul, thanks for your offer