(no subject)
Going to keep this purposefully vague, but no one reads Livejournal anymore, and this is friendslocked so I might as well just write it for myself.
I think I might have lost a close friendship because of...honestly the stupidest thing. This person accused me of lying about something, which I explained no fewer than three times that I was telling the truth, and they continued to demand I stop lying and do the thing they asked me (which I'd already done). So, instead of continually explaining myself, I refused to respond to the accusations I was lying.
Why? Because I felt like, as an adult, he should believe me. And, as an adult, I felt like I shouldn't have to keep explaining myself.
So he stopped talking to me, and while I feel upset, I also feel a strange...calm? Because 10 years ago I would have been a wreck from losing a friend. But today? I feel like I did the right thing by refusing to let someone disrespect me. I spent my whole life submissively apologizing to people who abused me. I was always afraid of losing a friend, even when that person wasn't worth being a friend.
It's not ok to accuse someone of lying, and doubly wrong to continue to interrogate them after they've explained, several times, that they are not lying.
What's worse is this person also accused our mutual friend of ignoring him (which she was not doing - she was simply busy), and then accused HER of lying when she said she wasn't ignoring him.
Maybe this is a blessing in disguise, because this person's behavior has revealed a part of him that is...not something I like. This is a person I have strong feelings for, and he recently got into a relationship and I was trying to deal with letting go of that. It was hard. I've never felt like this about anyone, and I could not push it out of my mind. But now that I've seen this side of him, the trust that made him so attractive to me is gone. It's easier to deal with now.
It still hurts, though. He was such a close friend. I still hope that maybe he'll talk to me again, but I'm not going to be the one to start the conversation. I'm worth more than that.
I think I might have lost a close friendship because of...honestly the stupidest thing. This person accused me of lying about something, which I explained no fewer than three times that I was telling the truth, and they continued to demand I stop lying and do the thing they asked me (which I'd already done). So, instead of continually explaining myself, I refused to respond to the accusations I was lying.
Why? Because I felt like, as an adult, he should believe me. And, as an adult, I felt like I shouldn't have to keep explaining myself.
So he stopped talking to me, and while I feel upset, I also feel a strange...calm? Because 10 years ago I would have been a wreck from losing a friend. But today? I feel like I did the right thing by refusing to let someone disrespect me. I spent my whole life submissively apologizing to people who abused me. I was always afraid of losing a friend, even when that person wasn't worth being a friend.
It's not ok to accuse someone of lying, and doubly wrong to continue to interrogate them after they've explained, several times, that they are not lying.
What's worse is this person also accused our mutual friend of ignoring him (which she was not doing - she was simply busy), and then accused HER of lying when she said she wasn't ignoring him.
Maybe this is a blessing in disguise, because this person's behavior has revealed a part of him that is...not something I like. This is a person I have strong feelings for, and he recently got into a relationship and I was trying to deal with letting go of that. It was hard. I've never felt like this about anyone, and I could not push it out of my mind. But now that I've seen this side of him, the trust that made him so attractive to me is gone. It's easier to deal with now.
It still hurts, though. He was such a close friend. I still hope that maybe he'll talk to me again, but I'm not going to be the one to start the conversation. I'm worth more than that.