In which I actually complain about a TV show
Okay so I can count on one hand the number of TV series I've actually watched all the way through, and it's usually only if it's on Netflix so I can show-binge (Breaking Bad being the one exception - I actually watched those episodes on TV. Gasp). Soooooo when I invest this much time in a series and it ends badly I GET MAD and want to rant about it.
[DEXTER SEASON 8 SPOILER BENEATH THE CUT. Don't read unless you've seen it already or don't care if the whole ending is spoiled.]Okay. Dexter, season 8. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Most of my complaints were in the series finale, so let me just list the things that happened that pissed me off/made no sense/ruined everything.
- Hannah McKay, blonde bombshell, murdering fugitive who escaped custody with her face plastered all over Miami. WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING A WIG. Your gorgeous blonde hair is like your signature. Why are you walking around MIAMI, the city where you are WANTED FOR MURDER, with your blonde hair flowing in the sunset. PUT ON A WIG. DYE IT. DO SOOOMETHING other than walking around in BROAD DAYLIGHT looking exactly like your wanted poster. Hell put on a pair of sunglasses for fucksake, but stop walking around and getting spotted and then acting all surprised when suddenly you have a Marshal and a PI on your ass. If I was a city's top wanted fugitive you can bet your ass I would 1) never step foot in that STATE again and 2) CHANGE MY APPEARANCE DRASTICALLY.
- Deb. Deb Deb Deb. Your mental breakdown was exactly what was expected of someone who murdered her Captain/friend in cold blood. You were the Lieutenant. You not only found out your brother was a serial killer but helped him with info and by turning a blind eye. Okay, I get it, he's family and you maaaay have been excused if it was left at that, but you shot not one, but TWO people (one to recover jewels!!?). So...why did a few therapy sessions suddenly fix EVERYTHING? You started the season saying you should have shot Dexter instead of LaGuerta and walked into Miami Metro to give a full confession...and then did a 180 and went "I can't imagine life without you". WHAT. NO. Goddammit.
- Fuck you, Quinn, for suddenly deciding you don't love Jamie when Deb is back in your life. And constantly saying Jamie is overreacting and is wrong about him still liking Deb. SHE WAS RIGHT. YOU ARE SUCH A DOUCHE FOR BREAKING UP WITH HER AS SOON AS A POSSIBILITY OF GETTING BACK WITH DEB APPEARS. I HATE YOU QUINN.
- What the fuck is up with Masuka's daughter? What is her purpose?
- Hannah strolls onto a bus with no disguise (already covered this) with a kid that isn't her's. The PI is there and lets her know that he's taking her off the bus at the next stop. Heyyyyy how about fucking CALLING SOMEONE to let them know in case, oh, I don't know, the murderer who is known for poisoning people does something like....poisons or drugs you? Which is exactly what she did.
- Since when does the horse tranquilizer that Dexter use (which is where Hannah got it, I assume) have a convenient 8-second delay so you can gloat before your victim passes out? Whenever Dexter uses it it knocks the victim out immediately. Kind of the point when you don't want a struggle. And no one noticed her stabbing him across the aisle with a giant needle?
- Hannah's passport does not have the same last name as Harrison. How does she get on a plane with him?
- Dexter takes Deb off life support. She flatlines. Somehow NO ONE IN THE HOSPITAL RESPONDS TO A FLATLINED PATIENT. Furthermore---
- ---he WALKS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL WITH HER WHITE-SHEET-DRAPED BODY ON A GURNEY AND PLOPS HER IN HIS BOAT. MOORED RIGHT NEXT TO THE HOSPITAL. No one notices him stealing a fucking corpse and putting her in his boat and just puttering away? What...what in the actual fuck?
- Why the fuuuuuuuuuuuuck would you drop your sister's body into the ocean, the same 'burial' you give all the murderers you killed? How is that respectful of her? Why not leave her body there in the hospital so she could have a respectful funeral/burial with the friends who loved her? Selfish selfish bastard!
- Motoring off into a hurricane is actually a pretty badass way to die. Except you didn't die. You somehow survived a hurricane that turned your boat into flotsam miles from shore. What, did you swim? Get picked up (again) by a random boat? In a hurricane? No. How the fuck did you survive that.
- A LUMBERJACK. REALLY. Oh and the whole 'I'm gonna look like Walter White with my new beard" nonsense does not make you as cool as Walter White :|
I really shouldn't have even watched Season 8. I'm that annoyed with it. It would have made the most sense to have Season 8 be Batista slowly figuring out who Dexter is and Miami Metro closing in on him. I mean, fucking come on - LaGuerta was convinced Dexter was the Bay Harbor Butcher, and as soon as she goes after Dexter, she dies? Batista wasn't AT ALL suspicious about that? They accepted the double-gunshot framing without any difficulty whatsoever, and she was a super close friend of his. Dexter getting hunted/caught would have been SUCH A GOOD ending to the series, but instead they went with this whole brain surgeon, random character-from-Dexter's-past clusterfuck. It just didn't fucking work :|
GRRR.
[DEXTER SEASON 8 SPOILER BENEATH THE CUT. Don't read unless you've seen it already or don't care if the whole ending is spoiled.]Okay. Dexter, season 8. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Most of my complaints were in the series finale, so let me just list the things that happened that pissed me off/made no sense/ruined everything.
- Hannah McKay, blonde bombshell, murdering fugitive who escaped custody with her face plastered all over Miami. WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING A WIG. Your gorgeous blonde hair is like your signature. Why are you walking around MIAMI, the city where you are WANTED FOR MURDER, with your blonde hair flowing in the sunset. PUT ON A WIG. DYE IT. DO SOOOMETHING other than walking around in BROAD DAYLIGHT looking exactly like your wanted poster. Hell put on a pair of sunglasses for fucksake, but stop walking around and getting spotted and then acting all surprised when suddenly you have a Marshal and a PI on your ass. If I was a city's top wanted fugitive you can bet your ass I would 1) never step foot in that STATE again and 2) CHANGE MY APPEARANCE DRASTICALLY.
- Deb. Deb Deb Deb. Your mental breakdown was exactly what was expected of someone who murdered her Captain/friend in cold blood. You were the Lieutenant. You not only found out your brother was a serial killer but helped him with info and by turning a blind eye. Okay, I get it, he's family and you maaaay have been excused if it was left at that, but you shot not one, but TWO people (one to recover jewels!!?). So...why did a few therapy sessions suddenly fix EVERYTHING? You started the season saying you should have shot Dexter instead of LaGuerta and walked into Miami Metro to give a full confession...and then did a 180 and went "I can't imagine life without you". WHAT. NO. Goddammit.
- Fuck you, Quinn, for suddenly deciding you don't love Jamie when Deb is back in your life. And constantly saying Jamie is overreacting and is wrong about him still liking Deb. SHE WAS RIGHT. YOU ARE SUCH A DOUCHE FOR BREAKING UP WITH HER AS SOON AS A POSSIBILITY OF GETTING BACK WITH DEB APPEARS. I HATE YOU QUINN.
- What the fuck is up with Masuka's daughter? What is her purpose?
- Hannah strolls onto a bus with no disguise (already covered this) with a kid that isn't her's. The PI is there and lets her know that he's taking her off the bus at the next stop. Heyyyyy how about fucking CALLING SOMEONE to let them know in case, oh, I don't know, the murderer who is known for poisoning people does something like....poisons or drugs you? Which is exactly what she did.
- Since when does the horse tranquilizer that Dexter use (which is where Hannah got it, I assume) have a convenient 8-second delay so you can gloat before your victim passes out? Whenever Dexter uses it it knocks the victim out immediately. Kind of the point when you don't want a struggle. And no one noticed her stabbing him across the aisle with a giant needle?
- Hannah's passport does not have the same last name as Harrison. How does she get on a plane with him?
- Dexter takes Deb off life support. She flatlines. Somehow NO ONE IN THE HOSPITAL RESPONDS TO A FLATLINED PATIENT. Furthermore---
- ---he WALKS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL WITH HER WHITE-SHEET-DRAPED BODY ON A GURNEY AND PLOPS HER IN HIS BOAT. MOORED RIGHT NEXT TO THE HOSPITAL. No one notices him stealing a fucking corpse and putting her in his boat and just puttering away? What...what in the actual fuck?
- Why the fuuuuuuuuuuuuck would you drop your sister's body into the ocean, the same 'burial' you give all the murderers you killed? How is that respectful of her? Why not leave her body there in the hospital so she could have a respectful funeral/burial with the friends who loved her? Selfish selfish bastard!
- Motoring off into a hurricane is actually a pretty badass way to die. Except you didn't die. You somehow survived a hurricane that turned your boat into flotsam miles from shore. What, did you swim? Get picked up (again) by a random boat? In a hurricane? No. How the fuck did you survive that.
- A LUMBERJACK. REALLY. Oh and the whole 'I'm gonna look like Walter White with my new beard" nonsense does not make you as cool as Walter White :|
I really shouldn't have even watched Season 8. I'm that annoyed with it. It would have made the most sense to have Season 8 be Batista slowly figuring out who Dexter is and Miami Metro closing in on him. I mean, fucking come on - LaGuerta was convinced Dexter was the Bay Harbor Butcher, and as soon as she goes after Dexter, she dies? Batista wasn't AT ALL suspicious about that? They accepted the double-gunshot framing without any difficulty whatsoever, and she was a super close friend of his. Dexter getting hunted/caught would have been SUCH A GOOD ending to the series, but instead they went with this whole brain surgeon, random character-from-Dexter's-past clusterfuck. It just didn't fucking work :|
GRRR.