A depressing update.
Today started like any other day.
I got up, went on the computer for a bit, and then 8:30 I got ready to head to school. Then my friend Ashley called (she's thirteen) and she told me at 3 AM her mom passed away. So that ended my normal day.
I didn't believe Ashley at first. Because just yesterday she had gone to Wal-mart and went Easter shopping with her mom. And I had even been talking to Ashley yesterday night and I could hear her Mom talking in the back ground. I guess a part of me still doesn't believe she's gone. Am I in shock or something?
Ashley's in shock. When we went walking around town (I didn't have to go to school because I had a small crying break down and because I wanted to spend some time with Ashley) we would talk and no matter the topic, it would end up with her Mom and then Ashley would say some of the things we said brought her back to reality, but for the most part she felt like she was dreaming. She feels like she'll wake up any moment and her Mom will be nagging her do something or other all again.
See. Even as I type this I still feel like this is one huge late April fools joke. But it's not, sadly.
I can't fully understand what Ashley's going through. Because I still have a Mom. And because Ashley's real dad skipped out on her when she was 2, she only has a step father right now. So she's pretty alone. But my Mom understands more so. At my age my mom lost her own mom on a cruise accident so she knows how she's feeling. All I can do is be there for Ashley, which in my eyes, isn't enough for me to do. But there isn't much I can do except be there for her, talk to her, listen, and stay by her side.
Everything's so surreal. Gods, why did this have to happen to Ashley? It's not her fault her Mom died. And it's not her mom's fault either. Ashley's mom was sick. Not bed ridden or anything, but she was sick. So a part of Ashley knew her mom was going to die soon, but not this soon, you know?
When Ashley and I were walking around town our teacher found us. He didn't give us trouble or anything because he already knew the news. And so does our entire class. Ashley's not too thrilled, but this couldn't be avoided. Mr. A (our teacher) told Ashley if she needed anything all she had to do was ask. And that stuff wen't double for me. He kept saying I was a good friend for being with Ashley. I was just doing what I felt was right. It doesn't deserve praises because I know she'd do the same thing for me. I'm doing all I can so far.
Ashley's trying to laugh everything off. We make jokes about things beause that's the only way we know how to deal with these things. And we realized that we say 'die' a lot. Now when we say it we get all quiet and apologize. Instead we say the 'D-bomb' for die or the 'M-bomb' for mom and the 'F word' for funeral. Ashley doesn't know when it's going to take place. All she knows is that she's going to be away the rest of the week and the 'F word' is going to take place sometime soon.
I hate how uncertain the future is. One day the people we know is here, the next they are gone. With Ashley we don't know what's going to happen. Is she going to go to court because Dave's not her real dad? Is she going to move away?
Man this life sucks so much right now.
I got up, went on the computer for a bit, and then 8:30 I got ready to head to school. Then my friend Ashley called (she's thirteen) and she told me at 3 AM her mom passed away. So that ended my normal day.
I didn't believe Ashley at first. Because just yesterday she had gone to Wal-mart and went Easter shopping with her mom. And I had even been talking to Ashley yesterday night and I could hear her Mom talking in the back ground. I guess a part of me still doesn't believe she's gone. Am I in shock or something?
Ashley's in shock. When we went walking around town (I didn't have to go to school because I had a small crying break down and because I wanted to spend some time with Ashley) we would talk and no matter the topic, it would end up with her Mom and then Ashley would say some of the things we said brought her back to reality, but for the most part she felt like she was dreaming. She feels like she'll wake up any moment and her Mom will be nagging her do something or other all again.
See. Even as I type this I still feel like this is one huge late April fools joke. But it's not, sadly.
I can't fully understand what Ashley's going through. Because I still have a Mom. And because Ashley's real dad skipped out on her when she was 2, she only has a step father right now. So she's pretty alone. But my Mom understands more so. At my age my mom lost her own mom on a cruise accident so she knows how she's feeling. All I can do is be there for Ashley, which in my eyes, isn't enough for me to do. But there isn't much I can do except be there for her, talk to her, listen, and stay by her side.
Everything's so surreal. Gods, why did this have to happen to Ashley? It's not her fault her Mom died. And it's not her mom's fault either. Ashley's mom was sick. Not bed ridden or anything, but she was sick. So a part of Ashley knew her mom was going to die soon, but not this soon, you know?
When Ashley and I were walking around town our teacher found us. He didn't give us trouble or anything because he already knew the news. And so does our entire class. Ashley's not too thrilled, but this couldn't be avoided. Mr. A (our teacher) told Ashley if she needed anything all she had to do was ask. And that stuff wen't double for me. He kept saying I was a good friend for being with Ashley. I was just doing what I felt was right. It doesn't deserve praises because I know she'd do the same thing for me. I'm doing all I can so far.
Ashley's trying to laugh everything off. We make jokes about things beause that's the only way we know how to deal with these things. And we realized that we say 'die' a lot. Now when we say it we get all quiet and apologize. Instead we say the 'D-bomb' for die or the 'M-bomb' for mom and the 'F word' for funeral. Ashley doesn't know when it's going to take place. All she knows is that she's going to be away the rest of the week and the 'F word' is going to take place sometime soon.
I hate how uncertain the future is. One day the people we know is here, the next they are gone. With Ashley we don't know what's going to happen. Is she going to go to court because Dave's not her real dad? Is she going to move away?
Man this life sucks so much right now.