oh, you.
no matter how i tell myself to think..hes always there just sitting in the back of my mind..in my heart. he's a piece of me that i need to let go of but i can't. no matter what, he will always be there. it's just something i'm going to have to live through. i know it's wrong..i know "we" were wrong..i knew it all along--still no matter what happens i will always have a place for him in my heart. it's not that i want him back in my life. today i was just thinking..and i realized its the way he used to be that i miss. not him now..just him then. it VERY MUCH SO confuses me..and i know i contradict myself a lot..but its honestly because im so confused and i don't really know what to think. maybe if he would just let it go also and be truthful it wouldn't have such an effect on me. honestly, how could you call me a "friend" when you never even talk to me anymore? how could you say i'm the one who doesn't talk to you when you know this was all your doing? i'm not TRYING to blame you..but we both know i did nothing wrong. there are so many times i catch myself calling you an asshole..so many times when my friends sit there and bad mouth the hell out of you..and others when i say he has a good heart and he just gets himself caught up in these things because he doesn't look out for himself. now, i don't know which it is so i think i'm going to stop thinking it over and i'm not going to speak of you in any negative ways. now you're just (your name) and nothing else to me. god knows, i'm probably contradicting myself right now because no matter how hard i try i still think and talk about you. i'm going to try my hardest though. from now on, when my eyes meet yours, deep down inside i'll be thinking about how happy you used to make me, but i'll do the right thing and leave you alone and let you live your life. i know all of this may seem a bit rediculous, but you meant something to me and i'm not going to lie about it. it's over..it's been over for a long time now..but it's still affecting me.
i hope this is the last time i have to write anything about you. now, you're just a memory. and we both know that's the way it should be. i'm not lying to myself anymore..thinking that maybe i still have a chance. done.
ASSHOLE
<33
i hope this is the last time i have to write anything about you. now, you're just a memory. and we both know that's the way it should be. i'm not lying to myself anymore..thinking that maybe i still have a chance. done.
ASSHOLE
<33