Workness!
I was at work day before yesterday and the oddest things happened.
So, I was only at work for like... four and a half hours, but I still managed to pack in a heck of a lot of wackyness in those restricted hours!
First, there was JEDI MAN!
Guy walks in and says "Hey, can I see your light sabers?" I, the happy helper monkey of the retail going masses of course chirps "Sure! Right over here we have some-" And lead the way, all the while nattering about our selection like a good little sales person.
Before I get a chance to show him what we have, he asks "Do you wanna see my light saber?"
Now, listen very very carefully. I work in retail and am female. As such, I have become quite used to lame pick up lines, crude pick up lines and down right rude pick up lines. After all my years of working retail I have grown an instinctive response to an older, creepier man muttering in my ear "Wanna see my light saber?". That response is an emphatic, instinctive and not in the least panicked "No thank you!"
Which I said.
Which triggered a huge whining fest of "Why noooooooooooot?"
Which triggered a more emphatic and much more forceful "We don't need to see that right now, here are the light sabers, we have these models and a hundred and fifty dol-"
"THAT ONE, I want to see that one." He responded, fairly vibrating with his need to see the UBAR EXPENSIVE SABER OF LIGHT! Then he whipped out his light saber from the handy dandy belt clip and whined "But I want to show you mine!"
To which I replied "Oh thank GAWD you actually have one."
He didn't seem to get the humor, but that's okay, the gnomes were giggling in my brain enough for my own laugh track, didn't need real laughter getting in the way.
That's when I found out my co-workers? Are so watching my back. They honed in on him from his right and his left so we formed this little triangle with Jedi Man in the middle and the display behind him, no way were we leaving this guy unattended. The boys distracted said Jedi Man while I had a very impressive giggle fit.
How did they distract him? They played with his light saber. He turned it on, with very serious and sincere warnings about the safety of the act he was about to perform. He also made it very very clear that his power cells were very very weak and until he managed to alter our technology and energy storage devices it would stay that weak. He was extremely confident he could perform such modifications, but in the mean time it meant he had to be very very careful about the spilling energy and that the blade would be somewhat hard to see.
So... he turned it on.
The flash light, of course, did not have a BLADE OF LIGHT like previously advertised, but Jedi Man was emphatic that he could see it and that we should see it too! The plastic chunk he'd glued to the side to act as... (I don't know... chunky on button?) the flashlights only adornment, but he swung it around like a well practiced movie fanatic with intense and heartfelt warnings that we "back up" lest we end up inadvertently missing a limb or three.
Well, the boys eventually encourage them to follow me to the hundred and fifty dollar light saber we have in a display cabinet and he comes obediently. He demands that I give him praise for his Jedi prowess, since indeed! He is the last of a dying breed and is in fact a true Jedi Knight of the highest honors! I mutter something incoherent but it sounded heartfelt and quite supportive, so I've been told. He calms down again and demands to see the light saber himself!
So, I show him, and insist before he's even touched it that he can not swing it around the store. It's fragile and expensive and not meant in the least for combat. (I know this because I've seen two bright lights having a light saber fight in his back yard... ended up with both light sabers broken beyond repair... even though it DID look pretty!)
So... I turn it on for him. He almost squeals in delight! I explain it is a replica of Darth Vader's sword, all the little doodads and flippy things. Heck, when he let out another girlish squeal of delight when he picked it up and heard the first *shwuh* sound it made I had to tell him about the battle sounds.
So of course he started swinging it around.
So of course SUPAH MANAGAH takes said sword away and wishes the Jedi a pleasant evening. Of course before I go he demands to know who's saber this is! I reply "Darth Vader" as if I haven't said it at least seven times since we came upon the display. (And besides! A Jedi Knight should be able to tell who's Light Saber it is, shouldn't he? I mean... c'mon! If you're gonna geek it out, at least know what you're geeking about!)
So, of COURSE he doesn't go. Instead he spends his time regaling me with a long winded memorized and obviously heavily worked upon speech, about his prowess as a Jedi and his amazing powers of powersness.
One of my afore mentioned coworkers swooped in when he saw me trying to hold back giggles and listened intently while I scuttled away to guffaw in the back room. All I can hear is a long pseudo-technical babble that reminded me of handwavium and Star Trek's "Techno Babble" (in that NONE OF IT MADE ANY FRIKKIN SENSE!) about how he's going to modify our energy storage devices so his light saber blade is more pronounced and he'll be a better Jedi then to protect us against the evils.
Yeah...
Turns out the guy is a Toronto regular, and harasses girls on the TTC with his light saber and Jedi stories. To the point that he's been evicted from the TTC and quite possibly pushed around a bit.
I feel privileged to have witnessed one of his... scenes. Really. But I don't think I'll change my reaction to that question. I've been asked before if I wanted to see someone's light saber... they didn't even have a flash light.
So... I had a quick break. I ran up to McD's on the floor above and got myself a chicken sandwich. Nummy. I come back and the guys are telling me some lady called asked for me by name ("May I speak to Kayt_arminta" the manager please?") and they told her to call back in ten minutes. I'm pondering who it could be and presume it's probably something Head Office related, probably the online ordering thing which I'm kinda in charge of and go eat my sandwich.
She calls back.
Turns out, on December 31st she threw a bitch fit in the store and I gave her a refund on her Visa for fifty bucks (UBER against the rules, for those of you playing at home) to shut her up. She wanted to thank me for my service and was calling to make sure my employers had no taken vengeance upon me. In short she said "I just wanted to make sure you weren't fired for helping me".
Sad part? She knows my name, she has my business card and my name on the refund slip... but I have no idea who the heck she is. So, I let her know I wasn't dismissed from my employment and no retribution was called. I also said I was glad we were able to find a resolution to her problem at the time and that I hoped she'd have a nice day.
NEVER EVER EVER have I had someone call, say they were a douche, and ask if I got fired because of their doucheness.
I wonder if it was a New Years resolution for her to make amends for the stupids of the past year. Who knows, I just know that day at work? Was one of the most unusual I'd ever had.
But still.. MANAGER, Bossman might make a faint moue of disgust, but I am authorized to do things no other employees are able to do. And really, he'd get over it, not fire me! He loves and needs me entirely too much.
So, I was only at work for like... four and a half hours, but I still managed to pack in a heck of a lot of wackyness in those restricted hours!
First, there was JEDI MAN!
Guy walks in and says "Hey, can I see your light sabers?" I, the happy helper monkey of the retail going masses of course chirps "Sure! Right over here we have some-" And lead the way, all the while nattering about our selection like a good little sales person.
Before I get a chance to show him what we have, he asks "Do you wanna see my light saber?"
Now, listen very very carefully. I work in retail and am female. As such, I have become quite used to lame pick up lines, crude pick up lines and down right rude pick up lines. After all my years of working retail I have grown an instinctive response to an older, creepier man muttering in my ear "Wanna see my light saber?". That response is an emphatic, instinctive and not in the least panicked "No thank you!"
Which I said.
Which triggered a huge whining fest of "Why noooooooooooot?"
Which triggered a more emphatic and much more forceful "We don't need to see that right now, here are the light sabers, we have these models and a hundred and fifty dol-"
"THAT ONE, I want to see that one." He responded, fairly vibrating with his need to see the UBAR EXPENSIVE SABER OF LIGHT! Then he whipped out his light saber from the handy dandy belt clip and whined "But I want to show you mine!"
To which I replied "Oh thank GAWD you actually have one."
He didn't seem to get the humor, but that's okay, the gnomes were giggling in my brain enough for my own laugh track, didn't need real laughter getting in the way.
That's when I found out my co-workers? Are so watching my back. They honed in on him from his right and his left so we formed this little triangle with Jedi Man in the middle and the display behind him, no way were we leaving this guy unattended. The boys distracted said Jedi Man while I had a very impressive giggle fit.
How did they distract him? They played with his light saber. He turned it on, with very serious and sincere warnings about the safety of the act he was about to perform. He also made it very very clear that his power cells were very very weak and until he managed to alter our technology and energy storage devices it would stay that weak. He was extremely confident he could perform such modifications, but in the mean time it meant he had to be very very careful about the spilling energy and that the blade would be somewhat hard to see.
So... he turned it on.
The flash light, of course, did not have a BLADE OF LIGHT like previously advertised, but Jedi Man was emphatic that he could see it and that we should see it too! The plastic chunk he'd glued to the side to act as... (I don't know... chunky on button?) the flashlights only adornment, but he swung it around like a well practiced movie fanatic with intense and heartfelt warnings that we "back up" lest we end up inadvertently missing a limb or three.
Well, the boys eventually encourage them to follow me to the hundred and fifty dollar light saber we have in a display cabinet and he comes obediently. He demands that I give him praise for his Jedi prowess, since indeed! He is the last of a dying breed and is in fact a true Jedi Knight of the highest honors! I mutter something incoherent but it sounded heartfelt and quite supportive, so I've been told. He calms down again and demands to see the light saber himself!
So, I show him, and insist before he's even touched it that he can not swing it around the store. It's fragile and expensive and not meant in the least for combat. (I know this because I've seen two bright lights having a light saber fight in his back yard... ended up with both light sabers broken beyond repair... even though it DID look pretty!)
So... I turn it on for him. He almost squeals in delight! I explain it is a replica of Darth Vader's sword, all the little doodads and flippy things. Heck, when he let out another girlish squeal of delight when he picked it up and heard the first *shwuh* sound it made I had to tell him about the battle sounds.
So of course he started swinging it around.
So of course SUPAH MANAGAH takes said sword away and wishes the Jedi a pleasant evening. Of course before I go he demands to know who's saber this is! I reply "Darth Vader" as if I haven't said it at least seven times since we came upon the display. (And besides! A Jedi Knight should be able to tell who's Light Saber it is, shouldn't he? I mean... c'mon! If you're gonna geek it out, at least know what you're geeking about!)
So, of COURSE he doesn't go. Instead he spends his time regaling me with a long winded memorized and obviously heavily worked upon speech, about his prowess as a Jedi and his amazing powers of powersness.
One of my afore mentioned coworkers swooped in when he saw me trying to hold back giggles and listened intently while I scuttled away to guffaw in the back room. All I can hear is a long pseudo-technical babble that reminded me of handwavium and Star Trek's "Techno Babble" (in that NONE OF IT MADE ANY FRIKKIN SENSE!) about how he's going to modify our energy storage devices so his light saber blade is more pronounced and he'll be a better Jedi then to protect us against the evils.
Yeah...
Turns out the guy is a Toronto regular, and harasses girls on the TTC with his light saber and Jedi stories. To the point that he's been evicted from the TTC and quite possibly pushed around a bit.
I feel privileged to have witnessed one of his... scenes. Really. But I don't think I'll change my reaction to that question. I've been asked before if I wanted to see someone's light saber... they didn't even have a flash light.
So... I had a quick break. I ran up to McD's on the floor above and got myself a chicken sandwich. Nummy. I come back and the guys are telling me some lady called asked for me by name ("May I speak to Kayt_arminta" the manager please?") and they told her to call back in ten minutes. I'm pondering who it could be and presume it's probably something Head Office related, probably the online ordering thing which I'm kinda in charge of and go eat my sandwich.
She calls back.
Turns out, on December 31st she threw a bitch fit in the store and I gave her a refund on her Visa for fifty bucks (UBER against the rules, for those of you playing at home) to shut her up. She wanted to thank me for my service and was calling to make sure my employers had no taken vengeance upon me. In short she said "I just wanted to make sure you weren't fired for helping me".
Sad part? She knows my name, she has my business card and my name on the refund slip... but I have no idea who the heck she is. So, I let her know I wasn't dismissed from my employment and no retribution was called. I also said I was glad we were able to find a resolution to her problem at the time and that I hoped she'd have a nice day.
NEVER EVER EVER have I had someone call, say they were a douche, and ask if I got fired because of their doucheness.
I wonder if it was a New Years resolution for her to make amends for the stupids of the past year. Who knows, I just know that day at work? Was one of the most unusual I'd ever had.
But still.. MANAGER, Bossman might make a faint moue of disgust, but I am authorized to do things no other employees are able to do. And really, he'd get over it, not fire me! He loves and needs me entirely too much.