(no subject)

[kayt_arminta]

The odd things you remember. I remember dating the shitty ex and finding a Mancala board on a window ledge. I didn't know what it was, and asked the shitty ex. He told me it was called Mancala and that it was played in Africa. His mother had bought it because she enjoyed the game. When I asked if he'd teach it to me, he told me point blank, that I wasn't smart enough to ever learn it.

I've still never played.

I've also never been able to bring myself to looking up the rules, because I keep thinking "I'm not smart enough to learn it, to know it. Why even bother? Shitty-Ex knew me better than anyone and he said I wasn't smart enough so I'm not."

Daddy says he's going to teach me how to play.

I'm ecstatic, but at the same time... terrified.

What if I really am NOT smart enough to play? What if it wasn't that the Shitty Ex couldn't figure it out for himself and couldn't teach me, but actually that I'm as dumb as a post when it comes to strategic games?

Then I look at my mtg decks and smile.

I wasn't smart enough for that either, and now I can kick ass.

Daddy, I love you. You make me a better person every day, and a smarter one! Thank you for encouraging me to grow and learn, and thank you for willing to have long, drawn out conversations about truely esoteric topics that have no impact on anything or anyone in reality.

I love you Daddy.