Boys Want Everything - Chapter 7
Here is chapter 7! I think there will be a total of 10 chapters but I'm not completely sure. I know how it will end, it's a matter of getting to that point! I have a sequel planned so I'm puzzling that out as well. This is just a fun fic to write and it's lovely to know people are enjoying it. :)
Chapter 7
Merlin woke well after Arthur had left to work at his father’s legal firm. He stretched out in the bed and smiled to himself as he thought over the previous night. It had been frightening for him in so many ways and the fear of rejection was still there for him, but Arthur had been kind to him, much kinder than Merlin had ever expected Arthur to be. Merlin got out of bed and started going through his clothes to find something to wear as he thought over how Arthur had just let him sleep and hadn’t even tried to touch him. Merlin had half-hoped Arthur would curl around him like they had done in Ealdor but it seemed Arthur had taken Merlin seriously when he said he wasn’t ready for anything.
Selecting an old pair of dark washed jeans and a dark blue t-shirt, Merlin went to shower. When he finished showering, he headed down to the kitchen to find Morgana eating breakfast and playing with her mobile.
“Hello, Merlin,” Morgana said, her light eyes sparkling. “I haven’t seen much of you since we went to Camden Market.”
Merlin smiled and took one of the muffins that were on the table. He liked Morgana but that didn’t mean he was sure of what to say around her. His thoughts were still on Arthur and that wasn’t something he wanted to discuss with Morgana, no matter how much he liked her. Instead he said, “Is Gwen here?”
“She’s changing now. We’re going to visit our friend Vivian again.” She looked at her mobile and sent a quick text. “You can come.”
Merlin shook his head. “That’s okay.”
“Arthur won’t be back for lunch today and Gwaine isn’t here,” Morgana warned. “You can always come with us.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll find something.” There were a few things he wanted to do in London that he was embarrassed to admit to his new friends. The other day at the National Gallery had reminded Merlin how much he liked history and he wanted to go to the British Museum. He thought that Arthur would make fun of him if he asked to go on the weekend and after all of Gwen’s teasing the day before, he doubted she would enjoy it. A day to himself wouldn’t be so bad either, he thought. It would let him think about things and he always thought best when he was walking or moving.
Morgana looked slightly concerned. “Are you alright?”
“Sorry, just thinking,” Merlin replied, taking a bite of his muffin. He offered Morgana a smile and poured himself a glass of orange juice. “Morning!” he said when Gwen walked into the room wearing a light pink summer dress. “You look lovely.”
“Thanks.” Gwen smiled. “Are you coming with us?”
“He’s going to find something else to do,” Morgana answered. “Boy things.” She grinned at Merlin to show she meant no harm.
Gwen chuckled. “I don’t blame you, Merlin.”
Morgana rolled her eyes. “Margaret will be here until half five so she can let you back in. I think Arthur will probably be back around six or seven but if you need to get in and no one is here, just text me.”
Merlin nodded. “Have fun!”
The girls smiled at him and left calling, “Bye, Merlin!” as they walked out the door.
Merlin smiled to himself and quickly finished his breakfast. He took his and Morgana’s dishes into the kitchen where Margaret just shook her head and told him he didn’t need to worry about those kinds of things.
“My mum would kill me if she thought I left messes,” Merlin said to Margaret but he was blushing.
“You’re a good boy,” Margaret replied, smiling. “Go on, I’m sure you’ve better things than to stay and wash up.”
Still blushing, Merlin hurried from the kitchen and went to find his wallet and mobile phone. He used Arthur’s laptop to find the best way to the British Museum and decided that he would just take the Tube. It was only a few miles and Merlin loved to explore by walking but he knew he would probably get lost and he really wanted to spend as much time as possible in the museum. Smiling to himself, he left the Pendragon home and headed to the nearest Tube station.
****
Merlin spent hours exploring the museum. He knew that he would not be able to see everything in one visit but as he wandered through the rooms he felt overwhelmed by the sheer amount of cultural objects on display. Cultures from the past and present fascinated him but he wasn’t sure what he could do with that kind of interest so he just fantasised about being an explorer and visiting foreign places. His mum always teased him about his interests but his uncle watched him and would remind Merlin about his desire to be a doctor. Merlin never protested, he knew he wanted to help people and after everything he knew about his father’s illness (despite not quite forgiving his father for being ill and dying) he wanted to work somewhere in the health field. The only way he knew to do that was to either be a nurse or a doctor and he didn’t particularly want to be running errands for doctors (as he imagined nurses did).
It was close to three when Merlin got a text from Gwaine asking if he wanted to go for a late lunch with him and Lance. Merlin bit his lip trying to think of a good excuse. While he knew Arthur would tease him for going to a museum on his own, Gwaine would be merciless and probably tell everyone that Merlin was a bootlicker. It would all be in fun but Merlin didn’t want everyone to know how weird he was or how much he actually liked to learn new things. He already got teased and ostracised at school for being at the top of his class…and for other things, he reminded himself but resolved not to think about that.
Taking a deep breath Merlin texted, I ate already.
It wasn’t true. He hadn’t actually eaten anything for lunch but he was so excited to have the day to himself in the museum that he didn’t feel hungry. Currently he was staring at the Rosetta Stone and enjoying the rush of adrenaline as he thought about the excitement it had caused when people realised what it was. A few years ago he had been fascinated by archaeology but had long decided that it wasn’t for him. As much as he liked learning about the past, he was more interested in talking to and learning about the living.
His mobile buzzed in his pocket and he almost groaned when he read Gwaine’s text. You can eat again, Skeletor. Meet us at PC in 20.
See you, Merlin wrote back and sighed. He really wanted to stay to look around the museum but he had come to London to see his friends. The British Museum would be here tomorrow, he told himself, Gwaine and Lance probably wouldn’t be his friends when they started uni so he ought to enjoy the feeling of having friends now.
The thought was a depressing one but Merlin tried not to dwell. Thinking about it made him wonder about Arthur and he didn’t want to think too much about what the future held for himself and Arthur. Nothing, probably, he thought miserably as he walked out of the museum. Suddenly he wished it was Will he was going to meet and not Gwaine and Lance. Will could be abrasive but at least he could talk to Will without worrying what he thought. Merlin knew where he stood with Will and while it was clear that Gwaine and Lance liked him, Merlin also knew they came from very different worlds.
Merlin hurried to the Tube station. He assumed PC stood for Piccadilly Circus and quickly looked over the underground map to make sure he knew how to get there. He would be late but Gwaine and Lance would wait. Grinning, Merlin could already hear Gwaine scolding him for taking his sweet time and could see Lance’s smile, letting Merlin know it was alright that he was late.
He was nearly fifteen minutes late and as he had expected, Gwaine just laughed at him, told him he was almost as much of a princess as Arthur, and steered him out of the Tube station to find a kebab stand.
“You know Skeletor isn’t a good comparison, right?” Merlin said as he paid the vendor. “He was actually pretty muscly.”
Gwaine snorted. “I think you just insulted yourself.”
Merlin and Lance both laughed.
“I’ll have you know I’m very attractive even without all those muscles and blue skin.” Merlin grinned sidelong at Gwaine who was shaking his head.
“Mate, that’s what I like about you,” Gwaine said, throwing an arm around Merlin’s shoulder as they walked away with their kebabs. “You’re weird as anything but you’re still cool.”
Merlin looked at Lance. “Is he drunk or something?”
Lance laughed. “No, he’s just talking rubbish as usual.”
Gwaine grinned and released Merlin. “I’m serious, I like you. You’re a good mate, Merlin.”
Merlin felt a blush rising but he knew Gwaine wasn’t talking about the same kind of like as Arthur had the night before. Warmth blossomed in his stomach and he briefly wondered if maybe they would stay friends once Gwaine went to uni. “Thanks.”
Gwaine nodded and unwrapped his kebab. “So what did you do all day that’s better than being around me? I know wanking’s fun but really, Merlin, you should spend some time with us.”
Merlin choked on his kebab from laughing.
“You’re a sick, sick man,” Lance said with amusement as he patted Merlin on the back. “C’mon, let’s find somewhere to sit.”
****
At seven Merlin and Gwaine walked from the Knightsbridge station towards the Pendragon’s house. Arthur had texted both of them when he’d gotten out of the office and asked if they were back.
“My uncle’s coming tomorrow,” Merlin told Gwaine who asked what Merlin’s plans were for the rest of the week.
“Going to play tourist with him?” Gwaine asked.
Merlin shrugged. “Probably a bit, yeah. What are you doing?”
“I’m going back to Dublin on Thursday,” Gwaine answered. “It’s my mum’s birthday on Saturday.”
“Do you have a reservation already?” Merlin asked. Being from Ireland himself he knew it was best to book everything in advance or you might not be able to get on the ferry.
Gwaine shrugged. “Yeah, made it yesterday.” He looked at Merlin curiously. “When’s the last time you went back?”
“Two years ago,” Merlin answered. “Mum and I went for her friend’s wedding.”
“Ever been to Dublin?”
Merlin shook his head. “Unless you count ferry or train stations, I’ve never actually been outside of Northern Ireland or England.”
“Deprived,” Gwaine teased. “I’m always moving.”
“Aren’t you special?” Merlin grinned. He knew that Gwaine had rotated between schools in Ireland and England for most of his life and had travelled the European continent quite extensively with his grandfather during the summer holidays.
“I’ll say hello to the island for you,” Gwaine replied, laughing when Merlin shoved him.
They walked up the path to the house and knocked on the door. After a few minutes Arthur opened it looking exhausted.
“Took your time about it,” Gwaine grumbled good-naturedly as he walked inside.
Arthur rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to come in. You can always go stay with your sister.”
Gwaine looked at Arthur with mock horror. “You’d throw me out?”
“You should be grateful I let you stay here,” Arthur said, trying not to smile when Gwaine snorted.
“You’d be bored without me,” Gwaine pointed out.
“I’ve got Merlin.” Arthur shrugged. “He’d entertain me.”
“Oh, I bet he would,” Gwaine said suggestively, raising his eyebrows at Arthur who just smacked him on the shoulder.
“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Arthur admonished. He shrugged an apology at Merlin who looked amused as he walked towards the stairs and disappeared up into Arthur’s room saying he needed to ring his uncle.
“Why? It’s not like you’re making any moves, might as well let my mind wander.”
“That’s…really disturbing,” Arthur said, staring at Gwaine.
“What?” Gwaine shrugged. “Oh come on. I know you want to get him in bed.”
“Shut up,” Arthur hissed. “It’s more than that and…well, we’re not talking about this.”
Gwaine looked pleased with himself. “So you told him?”
Arthur shrugged. “I had to spell it out for him.”
Gwaine laughed. “What did you say? Did you ask if you could suck his cock?”
“Gwaine!” Arthur yelped, looking horrified. “Don’t be vulgar. Morgana and Gwen are home.”
“So? They know you like it up…”
Arthur raised his hand threateningly, a steely glint in his eye. “I will kill you if you finish that sentence.”
Gwaine’s eyes danced as he laughed, pushing Arthur away. “Relax. He knows you go to a boy’s school. A public boy’s school, at that.”
Arthur raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me? I don’t think that has anything to do with…You have some twisted fantasies about what we do in our rooms at night, don’t you?” When Gwaine only cackled Arthur added, “We have private rooms at Eton.”
“You posh git. I don’t think you’re making the case you think you are.” Gwaine grinned evilly. “Go up there and pretend like Merlin’s the roommate you don’t have at Eton.”
“One, you’re a sick sod,” Arthur informed Gwaine though he looked extremely amused. “Two, Merlin doesn’t want me to.”
Gwaine frowned. “What do you mean?”
Arthur sighed and looked up the stairs to make sure Merlin was still up in Arthur’s room. “I’m not sure but I think he’s scared.”
“That doesn’t sound like Merlin,” Gwaine replied. “He likes you. What’s he afraid of?”
Arthur shrugged. “I don’t know. I just have a weird feeling.” He didn’t want to go into details about how Merlin had cried the night before or how he had shaken when Arthur took his hand before leading him to bed. Arthur hadn’t attempted to kiss Merlin again and had let go of Merlin’s hand. His fear had to be motivated by something and Arthur wanted to know what it was. Merlin seemed almost ashamed of his reactions, almost as though he thought Arthur would be angry with him but it concerned Arthur more than anything.
Gwaine nodded and didn’t ask any more questions about Merlin. “Is there anything to eat? I’m starving.”
****
Merlin went downstairs to find Arthur, Gwaine, Morgana, and Gwen eating the remainder of the Cottage Pie.
“I saved you the last bit,” Gwen said and passed over a steaming plate when Merlin slid into the seat next to her.
“Thanks,” Merlin told her gratefully. The kebab seemed like it had been a long time ago.
“Hurry up,” Morgana said, surveying the boys. “I want to have a battle.”
“Morgana,” Arthur groaned. “I have to go to work tomorrow and Agravaine is already threatening to send Father a…”
“Stop complaining, Arthur,” Morgana interrupted coolly. “You sound like Uther and it’s pitiful.”
Arthur glowered at her but said nothing. Instead he angrily tossed his fork on his plate and got up to toss it in the sink.
“Grow up, Arthur,” Morgana snapped as Arthur slammed the dishwasher door. “You’re not a child.”
“Morgana,” Arthur began, his eyes dark with anger.
“Don’t.” Morgana held up her hand. “Just go to bed or something. We can play without you.”
Arthur cast a furious look around the dining room and stormed out without a word.
Merlin wasn’t sure what to do and couldn’t understand what had made Arthur so angry. He’d never seen Arthur lose his cool like that and was concerned but unsure of whether he should follow.
“Let him be,” Gwen advised, a sympathetic smile on her face as she looked at Merlin.
Merlin sighed but stayed where he was, hoping he was making the right decision to let Arthur alone.
“Right,” Morgana said with false cheerfulness. “Let’s start that battle.”
The battle turned out to be a dance off on the Wii. Morgana was apparently obsessed with the Just Dance games and forced all of them to play. Gwaine seemed to enjoy it the most but he didn’t follow the dancing avatar on the television and instead kept trying to dance with Morgana or Gwen when it was their turn.
After an hour of laughing at the absurdity of the situation as well as dancing a few times himself, Merlin excused himself and went to find Arthur. He hadn’t said anything but he had felt a little nervous ever since Arthur had stormed off after fighting with Morgana. He couldn’t understand what had set Arthur off and it scared him to see how quick Arthur was to temper. It couldn’t be a good sign.
“Arthur?” Merlin called, not bothering to knock as he entered Arthur’s room.
“What?” Arthur was lying on his bed, his arms under his head as he stared at the ceiling.
Merlin fidgeted. Arthur still seemed to be upset and Merlin had no idea how to calm him down. He decided not to ask what was bothering him - he’d seen him fight with Morgana after all. “I’m a pretty fantastic dancer.”
Arthur snorted. “I doubt it.”
“I think you’re jealous,” Merlin taunted. He walked over to Arthur’s bed and looked down at him with a grin. “Definitely jealous.”
“I don’t think so,” Arthur retorted, cocking an eyebrow. “You’re too clumsy and last time I checked, tripping didn’t count as dancing.”
Merlin rolled his eyes. “I’ll prove it to you.”
“Go on, then,” Arthur said, lips twitching. “Show me what you learned.”
Merlin grinned and started going through some of the motions he remembered from the dancing Just Dance avatar. He smiled to himself when Arthur roared with laughter. “Told you; I’m pretty amazing.”
Arthur laughed and got up, reaching for Merlin. “C’mere.”
Merlin felt slightly nervous but he went over and let Arthur pull him into a hug. “Want to dance?” he asked and was pleased when he felt the rumble of Arthur’s laugh against his chest.
“You idiot,” Arthur muttered fondly, kissing Merlin’s cheek.
Merlin smiled and pulled back to look into Arthur’s eyes. “You alright?”
Arthur nodded. “Yeah.”
“You missed a good game,” Merlin said, pulling out of Arthur’s embrace. He could sense that Arthur didn’t want to talk about what happened. “Gwaine danced on Morgana.”
Arthur grinned. “Did she hit him?”
“No,” Merlin replied, “I think she knew it would encourage him.”
Arthur shook his head in amusement. “Are you tired?”
“Not really,” Merlin said with a shrug.
Arthur nodded, looking disappointed. “I’m…I know I’m not much fun to be around.”
“It’s okay, it’s still better than the flower shop.” Merlin didn’t really mind that Arthur was busy. He’d really enjoyed the museum today and thought that he might go back before Gaius arrived the next day. When he’d rung Gaius back he’d learned that Gaius wasn’t arriving until late afternoon.
“Thanks,” Arthur said dryly.
“Stop fishing for compliments,” Merlin scolded lightly. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to.”
“Yeah,” Arthur said, shrugging. He went over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of pyjama bottoms. “I need to sleep.”
“I’ll lie down with you,” Merlin offered, going to get his own pyjamas. He pulled off his clothes without thinking about it, jumping when he felt Arthur touch his back.
“It’s okay,” Arthur said gently, dropping his hand from the bare skin of Merlin’s back.
Merlin elbowed Arthur playfully before pulling his pyjama shirt on and shooing Arthur away to change. “Give me some warning next time.”
Arthur smiled self-consciously as Merlin watched him change into his pyjamas. He almost asked Merlin to turn around when he pulled his bottoms on but he noticed that Merlin averted his eyes when Arthur pulled his boxers off.
“I’m going to brush my teeth,” Merlin said awkwardly, excusing himself to Arthur’s bathroom.
Arthur sighed as Merlin left. It had only been a few days ago that Merlin teased him about Arthur not having anything Merlin hadn’t seen before. What had changed? Merlin was skittish now that Arthur had admitted to having feelings for him. Did he think Arthur was going to take advantage of him? The thought made Arthur feel sick. He might be a bit of a sex keen teenager, as his father put it, but he would never pressure anyone into doing anything with him.
When Merlin came back Arthur went to brush his own teeth and continued to think about the best way to broach the topic. It seemed as though Merlin was scared of intimacy. Arthur doubted he’d been Merlin’s first kiss but he knew Merlin was a virgin and wondered why. Arthur had plenty of friends who’d never had sex and there were plenty of reasons why but he wanted to know Merlin’s reason. He’d thought before that Merlin might have slept with Will but he knew now that Will was completely straight and from what Merlin said, they viewed each other as the brothers they’d never had.
“Hey,” Arthur said, walking back into his room and seeing Merlin curled up on his bed. “Suddenly tired?”
Merlin stuck his tongue out, making Arthur roll his eyes. “Might as well sleep.”
Arthur shrugged and turned off the light before sliding into his bed next to Merlin. “When does Gaius get here?”
“Afternoon,” Merlin answered, snuggling down in the blankets and turning his back to Arthur.
“You’re staying here though, right?” Arthur asked in what he hoped was casual though he knew his voice waivered slightly. He really didn’t want Merlin to leave before they could sort this out. It would probably be their only chance until Arthur returned to Eton for his final year and Arthur really didn’t want to wait until he had a free day. He refused to talk about how he felt about Merlin over the phone or through emails or IMs.
“Yeah,” Merlin answered, yawning. It seemed he was more tired than he’d originally thought. “My stuff’s here.”
Arthur smiled and hesitated for a moment, his mouth dry, before he reached out and touched Merlin’s side. When Merlin didn’t pull away, or make any indication to encourage Arthur further, Arthur slid a little closer so that his breath ghosted against Merlin’s neck.
Merlin swallowed, his stomach tying itself in knots. He wanted so badly to turn around and kiss Arthur on the mouth but he was scared. In his mind he knew that Arthur was interested in him but logic wasn’t winning this battle and he still feared he would lose Arthur’s friendship if he tried anything. Instead he contented himself with shifting slightly backwards and letting Arthur’s hand slide from his side down across his stomach.
“Good night,” Merlin whispered, shifting his arm so that his hand touched Arthur’s wrist.
Arthur smiled and moved so that he could squeeze Merlin’s hand gently before falling asleep.
Merlin squeezed his eyes tight, willing himself to sleep so that he could stop obsessing over what all of this meant for his and Arthur’s friendship. It didn’t work, however, and he was left looking into the darkness of the room for the better part of the night. Too afraid to move lest he wake Arthur and have to have the awkward conversation he knew they were both skirting around.
Continue to Chapter 8
Chapter 7
Merlin woke well after Arthur had left to work at his father’s legal firm. He stretched out in the bed and smiled to himself as he thought over the previous night. It had been frightening for him in so many ways and the fear of rejection was still there for him, but Arthur had been kind to him, much kinder than Merlin had ever expected Arthur to be. Merlin got out of bed and started going through his clothes to find something to wear as he thought over how Arthur had just let him sleep and hadn’t even tried to touch him. Merlin had half-hoped Arthur would curl around him like they had done in Ealdor but it seemed Arthur had taken Merlin seriously when he said he wasn’t ready for anything.
Selecting an old pair of dark washed jeans and a dark blue t-shirt, Merlin went to shower. When he finished showering, he headed down to the kitchen to find Morgana eating breakfast and playing with her mobile.
“Hello, Merlin,” Morgana said, her light eyes sparkling. “I haven’t seen much of you since we went to Camden Market.”
Merlin smiled and took one of the muffins that were on the table. He liked Morgana but that didn’t mean he was sure of what to say around her. His thoughts were still on Arthur and that wasn’t something he wanted to discuss with Morgana, no matter how much he liked her. Instead he said, “Is Gwen here?”
“She’s changing now. We’re going to visit our friend Vivian again.” She looked at her mobile and sent a quick text. “You can come.”
Merlin shook his head. “That’s okay.”
“Arthur won’t be back for lunch today and Gwaine isn’t here,” Morgana warned. “You can always come with us.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll find something.” There were a few things he wanted to do in London that he was embarrassed to admit to his new friends. The other day at the National Gallery had reminded Merlin how much he liked history and he wanted to go to the British Museum. He thought that Arthur would make fun of him if he asked to go on the weekend and after all of Gwen’s teasing the day before, he doubted she would enjoy it. A day to himself wouldn’t be so bad either, he thought. It would let him think about things and he always thought best when he was walking or moving.
Morgana looked slightly concerned. “Are you alright?”
“Sorry, just thinking,” Merlin replied, taking a bite of his muffin. He offered Morgana a smile and poured himself a glass of orange juice. “Morning!” he said when Gwen walked into the room wearing a light pink summer dress. “You look lovely.”
“Thanks.” Gwen smiled. “Are you coming with us?”
“He’s going to find something else to do,” Morgana answered. “Boy things.” She grinned at Merlin to show she meant no harm.
Gwen chuckled. “I don’t blame you, Merlin.”
Morgana rolled her eyes. “Margaret will be here until half five so she can let you back in. I think Arthur will probably be back around six or seven but if you need to get in and no one is here, just text me.”
Merlin nodded. “Have fun!”
The girls smiled at him and left calling, “Bye, Merlin!” as they walked out the door.
Merlin smiled to himself and quickly finished his breakfast. He took his and Morgana’s dishes into the kitchen where Margaret just shook her head and told him he didn’t need to worry about those kinds of things.
“My mum would kill me if she thought I left messes,” Merlin said to Margaret but he was blushing.
“You’re a good boy,” Margaret replied, smiling. “Go on, I’m sure you’ve better things than to stay and wash up.”
Still blushing, Merlin hurried from the kitchen and went to find his wallet and mobile phone. He used Arthur’s laptop to find the best way to the British Museum and decided that he would just take the Tube. It was only a few miles and Merlin loved to explore by walking but he knew he would probably get lost and he really wanted to spend as much time as possible in the museum. Smiling to himself, he left the Pendragon home and headed to the nearest Tube station.
****
Merlin spent hours exploring the museum. He knew that he would not be able to see everything in one visit but as he wandered through the rooms he felt overwhelmed by the sheer amount of cultural objects on display. Cultures from the past and present fascinated him but he wasn’t sure what he could do with that kind of interest so he just fantasised about being an explorer and visiting foreign places. His mum always teased him about his interests but his uncle watched him and would remind Merlin about his desire to be a doctor. Merlin never protested, he knew he wanted to help people and after everything he knew about his father’s illness (despite not quite forgiving his father for being ill and dying) he wanted to work somewhere in the health field. The only way he knew to do that was to either be a nurse or a doctor and he didn’t particularly want to be running errands for doctors (as he imagined nurses did).
It was close to three when Merlin got a text from Gwaine asking if he wanted to go for a late lunch with him and Lance. Merlin bit his lip trying to think of a good excuse. While he knew Arthur would tease him for going to a museum on his own, Gwaine would be merciless and probably tell everyone that Merlin was a bootlicker. It would all be in fun but Merlin didn’t want everyone to know how weird he was or how much he actually liked to learn new things. He already got teased and ostracised at school for being at the top of his class…and for other things, he reminded himself but resolved not to think about that.
Taking a deep breath Merlin texted, I ate already.
It wasn’t true. He hadn’t actually eaten anything for lunch but he was so excited to have the day to himself in the museum that he didn’t feel hungry. Currently he was staring at the Rosetta Stone and enjoying the rush of adrenaline as he thought about the excitement it had caused when people realised what it was. A few years ago he had been fascinated by archaeology but had long decided that it wasn’t for him. As much as he liked learning about the past, he was more interested in talking to and learning about the living.
His mobile buzzed in his pocket and he almost groaned when he read Gwaine’s text. You can eat again, Skeletor. Meet us at PC in 20.
See you, Merlin wrote back and sighed. He really wanted to stay to look around the museum but he had come to London to see his friends. The British Museum would be here tomorrow, he told himself, Gwaine and Lance probably wouldn’t be his friends when they started uni so he ought to enjoy the feeling of having friends now.
The thought was a depressing one but Merlin tried not to dwell. Thinking about it made him wonder about Arthur and he didn’t want to think too much about what the future held for himself and Arthur. Nothing, probably, he thought miserably as he walked out of the museum. Suddenly he wished it was Will he was going to meet and not Gwaine and Lance. Will could be abrasive but at least he could talk to Will without worrying what he thought. Merlin knew where he stood with Will and while it was clear that Gwaine and Lance liked him, Merlin also knew they came from very different worlds.
Merlin hurried to the Tube station. He assumed PC stood for Piccadilly Circus and quickly looked over the underground map to make sure he knew how to get there. He would be late but Gwaine and Lance would wait. Grinning, Merlin could already hear Gwaine scolding him for taking his sweet time and could see Lance’s smile, letting Merlin know it was alright that he was late.
He was nearly fifteen minutes late and as he had expected, Gwaine just laughed at him, told him he was almost as much of a princess as Arthur, and steered him out of the Tube station to find a kebab stand.
“You know Skeletor isn’t a good comparison, right?” Merlin said as he paid the vendor. “He was actually pretty muscly.”
Gwaine snorted. “I think you just insulted yourself.”
Merlin and Lance both laughed.
“I’ll have you know I’m very attractive even without all those muscles and blue skin.” Merlin grinned sidelong at Gwaine who was shaking his head.
“Mate, that’s what I like about you,” Gwaine said, throwing an arm around Merlin’s shoulder as they walked away with their kebabs. “You’re weird as anything but you’re still cool.”
Merlin looked at Lance. “Is he drunk or something?”
Lance laughed. “No, he’s just talking rubbish as usual.”
Gwaine grinned and released Merlin. “I’m serious, I like you. You’re a good mate, Merlin.”
Merlin felt a blush rising but he knew Gwaine wasn’t talking about the same kind of like as Arthur had the night before. Warmth blossomed in his stomach and he briefly wondered if maybe they would stay friends once Gwaine went to uni. “Thanks.”
Gwaine nodded and unwrapped his kebab. “So what did you do all day that’s better than being around me? I know wanking’s fun but really, Merlin, you should spend some time with us.”
Merlin choked on his kebab from laughing.
“You’re a sick, sick man,” Lance said with amusement as he patted Merlin on the back. “C’mon, let’s find somewhere to sit.”
****
At seven Merlin and Gwaine walked from the Knightsbridge station towards the Pendragon’s house. Arthur had texted both of them when he’d gotten out of the office and asked if they were back.
“My uncle’s coming tomorrow,” Merlin told Gwaine who asked what Merlin’s plans were for the rest of the week.
“Going to play tourist with him?” Gwaine asked.
Merlin shrugged. “Probably a bit, yeah. What are you doing?”
“I’m going back to Dublin on Thursday,” Gwaine answered. “It’s my mum’s birthday on Saturday.”
“Do you have a reservation already?” Merlin asked. Being from Ireland himself he knew it was best to book everything in advance or you might not be able to get on the ferry.
Gwaine shrugged. “Yeah, made it yesterday.” He looked at Merlin curiously. “When’s the last time you went back?”
“Two years ago,” Merlin answered. “Mum and I went for her friend’s wedding.”
“Ever been to Dublin?”
Merlin shook his head. “Unless you count ferry or train stations, I’ve never actually been outside of Northern Ireland or England.”
“Deprived,” Gwaine teased. “I’m always moving.”
“Aren’t you special?” Merlin grinned. He knew that Gwaine had rotated between schools in Ireland and England for most of his life and had travelled the European continent quite extensively with his grandfather during the summer holidays.
“I’ll say hello to the island for you,” Gwaine replied, laughing when Merlin shoved him.
They walked up the path to the house and knocked on the door. After a few minutes Arthur opened it looking exhausted.
“Took your time about it,” Gwaine grumbled good-naturedly as he walked inside.
Arthur rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to come in. You can always go stay with your sister.”
Gwaine looked at Arthur with mock horror. “You’d throw me out?”
“You should be grateful I let you stay here,” Arthur said, trying not to smile when Gwaine snorted.
“You’d be bored without me,” Gwaine pointed out.
“I’ve got Merlin.” Arthur shrugged. “He’d entertain me.”
“Oh, I bet he would,” Gwaine said suggestively, raising his eyebrows at Arthur who just smacked him on the shoulder.
“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Arthur admonished. He shrugged an apology at Merlin who looked amused as he walked towards the stairs and disappeared up into Arthur’s room saying he needed to ring his uncle.
“Why? It’s not like you’re making any moves, might as well let my mind wander.”
“That’s…really disturbing,” Arthur said, staring at Gwaine.
“What?” Gwaine shrugged. “Oh come on. I know you want to get him in bed.”
“Shut up,” Arthur hissed. “It’s more than that and…well, we’re not talking about this.”
Gwaine looked pleased with himself. “So you told him?”
Arthur shrugged. “I had to spell it out for him.”
Gwaine laughed. “What did you say? Did you ask if you could suck his cock?”
“Gwaine!” Arthur yelped, looking horrified. “Don’t be vulgar. Morgana and Gwen are home.”
“So? They know you like it up…”
Arthur raised his hand threateningly, a steely glint in his eye. “I will kill you if you finish that sentence.”
Gwaine’s eyes danced as he laughed, pushing Arthur away. “Relax. He knows you go to a boy’s school. A public boy’s school, at that.”
Arthur raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me? I don’t think that has anything to do with…You have some twisted fantasies about what we do in our rooms at night, don’t you?” When Gwaine only cackled Arthur added, “We have private rooms at Eton.”
“You posh git. I don’t think you’re making the case you think you are.” Gwaine grinned evilly. “Go up there and pretend like Merlin’s the roommate you don’t have at Eton.”
“One, you’re a sick sod,” Arthur informed Gwaine though he looked extremely amused. “Two, Merlin doesn’t want me to.”
Gwaine frowned. “What do you mean?”
Arthur sighed and looked up the stairs to make sure Merlin was still up in Arthur’s room. “I’m not sure but I think he’s scared.”
“That doesn’t sound like Merlin,” Gwaine replied. “He likes you. What’s he afraid of?”
Arthur shrugged. “I don’t know. I just have a weird feeling.” He didn’t want to go into details about how Merlin had cried the night before or how he had shaken when Arthur took his hand before leading him to bed. Arthur hadn’t attempted to kiss Merlin again and had let go of Merlin’s hand. His fear had to be motivated by something and Arthur wanted to know what it was. Merlin seemed almost ashamed of his reactions, almost as though he thought Arthur would be angry with him but it concerned Arthur more than anything.
Gwaine nodded and didn’t ask any more questions about Merlin. “Is there anything to eat? I’m starving.”
****
Merlin went downstairs to find Arthur, Gwaine, Morgana, and Gwen eating the remainder of the Cottage Pie.
“I saved you the last bit,” Gwen said and passed over a steaming plate when Merlin slid into the seat next to her.
“Thanks,” Merlin told her gratefully. The kebab seemed like it had been a long time ago.
“Hurry up,” Morgana said, surveying the boys. “I want to have a battle.”
“Morgana,” Arthur groaned. “I have to go to work tomorrow and Agravaine is already threatening to send Father a…”
“Stop complaining, Arthur,” Morgana interrupted coolly. “You sound like Uther and it’s pitiful.”
Arthur glowered at her but said nothing. Instead he angrily tossed his fork on his plate and got up to toss it in the sink.
“Grow up, Arthur,” Morgana snapped as Arthur slammed the dishwasher door. “You’re not a child.”
“Morgana,” Arthur began, his eyes dark with anger.
“Don’t.” Morgana held up her hand. “Just go to bed or something. We can play without you.”
Arthur cast a furious look around the dining room and stormed out without a word.
Merlin wasn’t sure what to do and couldn’t understand what had made Arthur so angry. He’d never seen Arthur lose his cool like that and was concerned but unsure of whether he should follow.
“Let him be,” Gwen advised, a sympathetic smile on her face as she looked at Merlin.
Merlin sighed but stayed where he was, hoping he was making the right decision to let Arthur alone.
“Right,” Morgana said with false cheerfulness. “Let’s start that battle.”
The battle turned out to be a dance off on the Wii. Morgana was apparently obsessed with the Just Dance games and forced all of them to play. Gwaine seemed to enjoy it the most but he didn’t follow the dancing avatar on the television and instead kept trying to dance with Morgana or Gwen when it was their turn.
After an hour of laughing at the absurdity of the situation as well as dancing a few times himself, Merlin excused himself and went to find Arthur. He hadn’t said anything but he had felt a little nervous ever since Arthur had stormed off after fighting with Morgana. He couldn’t understand what had set Arthur off and it scared him to see how quick Arthur was to temper. It couldn’t be a good sign.
“Arthur?” Merlin called, not bothering to knock as he entered Arthur’s room.
“What?” Arthur was lying on his bed, his arms under his head as he stared at the ceiling.
Merlin fidgeted. Arthur still seemed to be upset and Merlin had no idea how to calm him down. He decided not to ask what was bothering him - he’d seen him fight with Morgana after all. “I’m a pretty fantastic dancer.”
Arthur snorted. “I doubt it.”
“I think you’re jealous,” Merlin taunted. He walked over to Arthur’s bed and looked down at him with a grin. “Definitely jealous.”
“I don’t think so,” Arthur retorted, cocking an eyebrow. “You’re too clumsy and last time I checked, tripping didn’t count as dancing.”
Merlin rolled his eyes. “I’ll prove it to you.”
“Go on, then,” Arthur said, lips twitching. “Show me what you learned.”
Merlin grinned and started going through some of the motions he remembered from the dancing Just Dance avatar. He smiled to himself when Arthur roared with laughter. “Told you; I’m pretty amazing.”
Arthur laughed and got up, reaching for Merlin. “C’mere.”
Merlin felt slightly nervous but he went over and let Arthur pull him into a hug. “Want to dance?” he asked and was pleased when he felt the rumble of Arthur’s laugh against his chest.
“You idiot,” Arthur muttered fondly, kissing Merlin’s cheek.
Merlin smiled and pulled back to look into Arthur’s eyes. “You alright?”
Arthur nodded. “Yeah.”
“You missed a good game,” Merlin said, pulling out of Arthur’s embrace. He could sense that Arthur didn’t want to talk about what happened. “Gwaine danced on Morgana.”
Arthur grinned. “Did she hit him?”
“No,” Merlin replied, “I think she knew it would encourage him.”
Arthur shook his head in amusement. “Are you tired?”
“Not really,” Merlin said with a shrug.
Arthur nodded, looking disappointed. “I’m…I know I’m not much fun to be around.”
“It’s okay, it’s still better than the flower shop.” Merlin didn’t really mind that Arthur was busy. He’d really enjoyed the museum today and thought that he might go back before Gaius arrived the next day. When he’d rung Gaius back he’d learned that Gaius wasn’t arriving until late afternoon.
“Thanks,” Arthur said dryly.
“Stop fishing for compliments,” Merlin scolded lightly. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to.”
“Yeah,” Arthur said, shrugging. He went over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of pyjama bottoms. “I need to sleep.”
“I’ll lie down with you,” Merlin offered, going to get his own pyjamas. He pulled off his clothes without thinking about it, jumping when he felt Arthur touch his back.
“It’s okay,” Arthur said gently, dropping his hand from the bare skin of Merlin’s back.
Merlin elbowed Arthur playfully before pulling his pyjama shirt on and shooing Arthur away to change. “Give me some warning next time.”
Arthur smiled self-consciously as Merlin watched him change into his pyjamas. He almost asked Merlin to turn around when he pulled his bottoms on but he noticed that Merlin averted his eyes when Arthur pulled his boxers off.
“I’m going to brush my teeth,” Merlin said awkwardly, excusing himself to Arthur’s bathroom.
Arthur sighed as Merlin left. It had only been a few days ago that Merlin teased him about Arthur not having anything Merlin hadn’t seen before. What had changed? Merlin was skittish now that Arthur had admitted to having feelings for him. Did he think Arthur was going to take advantage of him? The thought made Arthur feel sick. He might be a bit of a sex keen teenager, as his father put it, but he would never pressure anyone into doing anything with him.
When Merlin came back Arthur went to brush his own teeth and continued to think about the best way to broach the topic. It seemed as though Merlin was scared of intimacy. Arthur doubted he’d been Merlin’s first kiss but he knew Merlin was a virgin and wondered why. Arthur had plenty of friends who’d never had sex and there were plenty of reasons why but he wanted to know Merlin’s reason. He’d thought before that Merlin might have slept with Will but he knew now that Will was completely straight and from what Merlin said, they viewed each other as the brothers they’d never had.
“Hey,” Arthur said, walking back into his room and seeing Merlin curled up on his bed. “Suddenly tired?”
Merlin stuck his tongue out, making Arthur roll his eyes. “Might as well sleep.”
Arthur shrugged and turned off the light before sliding into his bed next to Merlin. “When does Gaius get here?”
“Afternoon,” Merlin answered, snuggling down in the blankets and turning his back to Arthur.
“You’re staying here though, right?” Arthur asked in what he hoped was casual though he knew his voice waivered slightly. He really didn’t want Merlin to leave before they could sort this out. It would probably be their only chance until Arthur returned to Eton for his final year and Arthur really didn’t want to wait until he had a free day. He refused to talk about how he felt about Merlin over the phone or through emails or IMs.
“Yeah,” Merlin answered, yawning. It seemed he was more tired than he’d originally thought. “My stuff’s here.”
Arthur smiled and hesitated for a moment, his mouth dry, before he reached out and touched Merlin’s side. When Merlin didn’t pull away, or make any indication to encourage Arthur further, Arthur slid a little closer so that his breath ghosted against Merlin’s neck.
Merlin swallowed, his stomach tying itself in knots. He wanted so badly to turn around and kiss Arthur on the mouth but he was scared. In his mind he knew that Arthur was interested in him but logic wasn’t winning this battle and he still feared he would lose Arthur’s friendship if he tried anything. Instead he contented himself with shifting slightly backwards and letting Arthur’s hand slide from his side down across his stomach.
“Good night,” Merlin whispered, shifting his arm so that his hand touched Arthur’s wrist.
Arthur smiled and moved so that he could squeeze Merlin’s hand gently before falling asleep.
Merlin squeezed his eyes tight, willing himself to sleep so that he could stop obsessing over what all of this meant for his and Arthur’s friendship. It didn’t work, however, and he was left looking into the darkness of the room for the better part of the night. Too afraid to move lest he wake Arthur and have to have the awkward conversation he knew they were both skirting around.
Continue to Chapter 8