By the wayside (aka I don't give a crap)
How I wish I could write more often. Or that I was like Jay-Z and could remember everything I thought about and just write it down later. Of course, I wish I had more time for a lot of things - but you know what they say about wishing...
I wanted to title this blog "Letting Go" - but I think I already have one of those (maybe) or at least I've written one under a similar theme. I am not here to give myself that much credit with this entry. I am just here to pay homage to the fact that when you have a kid - sh!t gets kicked to the curb a lot more than when you don't (at least for me it does). And I am not. ashamed. of. this.
Big things like:
I am not saying that I've overcome some huge impatient personality characteristic. I'm just saying I've noticed it's easier to prioritize when it comes to what's important. Not that time with my husband/friends/self isn't important, it is. Not that I am going to let my fancy new home turn into a cesspool of streptococcus or an episode of Hoarders. It's just... easier to be all "yeah, maybe I'll just have to get to that later."
Then of course there are the times where I know that now probably is a good time to let BBH stay a little longer with grandma so the hubs and I can have a dinner that doesn't involve picking food up off the floor (or maybe it will, if things head in that direction ;) ). Like today, I haven't been to yoga in a month - because of moving/stomach flu/various other excuses. So it's probably a good time for me to go. And that brings me to the crux. The pull - the minute I decide to do something away from the BB - it's that tiny little niggling of guilt. That tiny little look over my shoulder when I leave the house and know that I'm missing out on time with her - but I remind myself that doing some things without her is all part of living life - one day she will do things without me - actually, of course she already does. And everything continues on its path. No permanent damage being done (I hope - LOL).
Anyway - I think you get my drift. I know all this is normal. (at least, normal for my audience). I am just taking a moment to be amazed at what it took for me to actually learn to let some stuff g - no - put stuff off until tomorrow, and pick out what's most important and feel confident about my decisions. Well, most of the time. Or maybe just sometimes... Okay, I feel good about writing this blog finally, at least.
Until next time!
I wanted to title this blog "Letting Go" - but I think I already have one of those (maybe) or at least I've written one under a similar theme. I am not here to give myself that much credit with this entry. I am just here to pay homage to the fact that when you have a kid - sh!t gets kicked to the curb a lot more than when you don't (at least for me it does). And I am not. ashamed. of. this.
Big things like:
- How often I get to work out/practice yoga
- How often I actually get to clean the bathroom - or any other part of this monstrous house we now own (that's not a complaint, I love our new home, I just wish it came with a free housekeeper - and no, the Hubs doesn't count, because his idea of clean and mine are two completely different spheres of thought)
- How often I get to see my friends - real quality time, not the time where I'm half paying attention to them and half paying attention to BBH
- Apply that last bullet to spending time with the hubs
- Spending quality time alone - which apparently is super important according to all the parenting books/blogs/internet forums out there
- Getting to work on time
- Getting my toes done
- Getting my eyebrows done
- Working on BBH's baby book
- Staying up to date with new music (new to me, not necessarily new to the general population)
- Writing in my blog/journal
I am not saying that I've overcome some huge impatient personality characteristic. I'm just saying I've noticed it's easier to prioritize when it comes to what's important. Not that time with my husband/friends/self isn't important, it is. Not that I am going to let my fancy new home turn into a cesspool of streptococcus or an episode of Hoarders. It's just... easier to be all "yeah, maybe I'll just have to get to that later."
Then of course there are the times where I know that now probably is a good time to let BBH stay a little longer with grandma so the hubs and I can have a dinner that doesn't involve picking food up off the floor (or maybe it will, if things head in that direction ;) ). Like today, I haven't been to yoga in a month - because of moving/stomach flu/various other excuses. So it's probably a good time for me to go. And that brings me to the crux. The pull - the minute I decide to do something away from the BB - it's that tiny little niggling of guilt. That tiny little look over my shoulder when I leave the house and know that I'm missing out on time with her - but I remind myself that doing some things without her is all part of living life - one day she will do things without me - actually, of course she already does. And everything continues on its path. No permanent damage being done (I hope - LOL).
Anyway - I think you get my drift. I know all this is normal. (at least, normal for my audience). I am just taking a moment to be amazed at what it took for me to actually learn to let some stuff g - no - put stuff off until tomorrow, and pick out what's most important and feel confident about my decisions. Well, most of the time. Or maybe just sometimes... Okay, I feel good about writing this blog finally, at least.
Until next time!