ABC's of Angelic intimacy 4/5
Title: ABCs of Angelic Intimacy
Author: kaylynnkie
Disclaimer: Not mine
Pairing: Dean/Cas
Warning: BDSM, (some) AU, major and minor character death, character illness (longterm), solo pleasure and various kinks.
Summary: Exploring the relationship between Dean and Cas; a series of 26 drabbles
Notes: An exercise to outline some of the themes and the behaviors of the characters
Pleasantries
It was awkward and Dean knew that. Still when he tried to convince Cas of this, he only received a glare and a blatant snub that left him gaping after this new pretentious Cas. When Dean had suggested they go under cover as a wealthy gay couple in polite society to uncover the shapeshifter, he hadn't expected Cas to take so easily to walking arm in arm and lean on him like he'd been doing it for years.
The hostess was a saucy young woman, who had inherited way too much from her wealthy grandmother, and was only hosting this party because she wanted to do everything within her power to spite the old man's memory. Typically, Dean would have made a pass at her and, if all had gone accordingly, he would have been in one of the rooms up stairs all wrapped up in her warmth and soft curves. That was typically. Tonight, Cas had Dean all preoccupied with this or that. It was bordering on ridiculous.
“So,” the hostess said taping her nail against the rim of her wine glass, “where did you two lovebirds meet?”
“Kansas.”
“Maine.”
The two states were so out of synch that they looked at each other in shock. They had talked about this before, and Dean was almost certain that they were supposed to say some crap about both being from Kansas City and meeting through friends. Boring but believable. Dean bit his lip, but Cas looked furious. The angel's eyes were dark and heated. He looked away, shaking his head.
He had to hand it to Cas, the angel sure played one hell of a nagging housewife. He glared and pouted, dropping Dean's hand.
“We met at La Puerta del Cielo,” he mumbled angrily. “How could you forget that?”
“I...I...What?” Dean cried out.
Cas turned to the hostess of the party. “He never remembers the important things.” He paused letting her get adjusted to this new turn of events. It was endearing in a creepy sort of way. “He was under the hood of this car, this beautiful black car,” he looked at Dean fondly before continuing, “and I was just sitting down for lunch. He was gorgeous. Wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses.” Dean felt a hot flush creeping over his face, and Cas winked at him.
“How did you two start talking?”
“He invited me to play pool with him,” Cas said innocently. “And won fifty dollars off of me.”
“Not my fault you suck at pool.”
Cas continued. “Then he invited me back to the hotel he was staying at for drinks.” He was smiling as he told the story and their hostess looked enthralled.
“You made with the dirty on the first night you met?”
“Of course not!” They both looked up at Dean's outburst. “It was just drinks.”
Cas's smile warmed. “It was. He was a gentleman. He asked me out to dinner for the next night, and then it just snowballed out of control. Didn't it?”
~
Cas and Dean walked out of the party together. Cas had wrapped his arms around Dean's left, and Dean had both his hands in his pockets.
“Waste of freakin' time if you ask me.”
“Not entirely.”
“Why not?”
Cas reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card. “This is the shapeshifter.”
“Not bad,” Dean said taking the card from his accomplice. “So, he's at this address?”
“We can go tonight and take care of him.”
Dean paused before climbing into the driver's side of the Impala. He started undoing his bow tie, and Cas waited for him to say what was on his mind.
“So what was the crap about La Puerta del Cielo? Cheesy place to meet.”
“It's where we met,” Cas insisted. “For real.”
“Yeah, and I'm a-”
“But we did, Dean.” He stepped back and looked up at the starry night's sky. “I met you at the door to Heaven, and I raised you up from the depths of Hell.”
Dean smiled, “Yeah. You did, didn't you?”
Questions
When Dean was four, his mother put his hair up in berets that had little green rhinestones on them. He would sit in her lap, and she would tell him about the angels that kept him safe. They were big and beautiful, but the wouldn't hurt him. And he had a special angel, who was just for him. He was 'Dean's Angel,' and this angel loved him with all of his heart.
“But why can't I see him?” Dean pouted sucking on his thumb.
He remembered that his mother had a bright smile that made her eyes shine with happiness. “Because he's keeping you safe in secret, so no one knows he's there. That way he can sneak up on the bad things and make them go away.”
“Like a spy?”
“Just like a spy,” she agreed.
“What does he look like?”
She bounced her knee up and down, and Dean giggled as he was jolted up and down. “Oh, he's beautiful. He has blue eyes and big wings. They're as big as this room, but he folds them up, so they don't get in his way.”
“So he doesn't trip and fall.” Dean said seriously.
“That's right.”
Castiel cocked his head from across the room. He wasn't in a vessel, and he was silent. His orders had been strict. Keep Dean safe and don't be seen. No human could see his pure form as he was now. Mary looked up at the corner he was standing in and smiled.
“He has long hair, too. But I don't know what color it is.”
“Daddy says guys shouldn't have long hair.”
She grinned. “Good thing he's an angel then, huh?”
Dean ducked his head and laughed.
“Mary?”
She looked up from Dean and looked at her husband innocently. “Yes, husband?”
“It's a quarter to nine. You should be asleep, young man,” he said sternly with a mock frown.
“Daddy!”
Dean raised his arms, and John obediently leaned down to scoop his son up into his arms. “How's my boy?” She noticed him noticing the berets and noted that he was careful not to say a word.
“Good,” he said shyly playing with the collar of John's shirt. “Mommy was telling me about angels.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “She was, was she? What's this angel's name?”
“I don't know.”
Castiel frowned, and she shrugged at him. He though he saw her mouth Sorry, but he wasn't sure.
She stood up and kissed Dean's cheek before kissing John's. Dean yawned, and John turned to his wife.
“Bedtime!” she announced cheerfully.
She scooped him up out of John's arms and laid him down on the bed, pulling the comforter up over him when he had snuggled up against the pillows. As they were about to leave, he shot up.
“Bugs!” he cried out in distress.
John sighed and leaned against the door frame. “Mary, he can't-”
She went back inside and plucked a stuffed rabbit off the dresser. “Shut up, John.”
Bugs was a pink rabbit with black eyes that she had won at the fair. When she had come back home, Dean was holding onto it so tightly, she gave it to him and he named it Bugs after he favorite cartoon.
“Sorry, Daddy,” Dean said softly, handing the rabbit back to his mother.
“Ah, hell, Dean-”
Mary looked angrily at him. “I gave it to him. You don't get to say he doesn't deserve it. Everyone needs something to hold sometimes.” She turned back to Dean and gave him a kiss. “I'll put him on the blanket, okay? In case he gets lonely?”
“'Kay.”
After his parents had left, Dean sneaked out of the covers and stealthily grabbed his rabbit before ducking back down and hiding under the warm comforter. He loved Bugs after all, and it wouldn't be right to leave him where he could get cold.
While Dean slept, curled against the stuffed rabbit his mother had given him, Castiel stood watch over him and smoothed the hair out of his eyes. He liked Mary. He didn't want Dean to have to walk the path that was planned for him, and when he saw Azazel walk into the nursery, he looked away from the home of the Winchester family.
When Dean turned eight, John threw the stuffed rabbit away somewhere in Colorado when he accidentally found it in the Impala. Dean stayed up all night looking for it, but he never told his father about it. Even when John asked why his eyes were all red and swollen.
“Dust,” he had replied.
Reluctance
Sam was sitting in the emergency room of St. Clarence Hospital in Bullock, Alabama when Dean called him.
“Hey, Sammy.”
“Dean, I need you to some down here. Cas is-”
“He'll be fine whatever it is. Hey, do you remember the name of that chick from-”
“No! Dean, he needs you. The doctors say that he doesn't have much time left. A couple of days at the most. They're moving him in to the hospital permanently.” He lowered his voice, “He's been asking for you.”
He could hear Dean swallow uncomfortable on his side. “I can't do that right now. Chuck needs help breaking down one of the camps in Montgomery.”
“That's just under a half hour away. You can come see him!” Cas coughed and Sam ran his thumb across the back of his hand.
He lifted his head. “Sam, it's alright. Don't make him come. He shouldn't feel guilty. He has important work to do.”
What hurt more than anything was that Cas didn't say it with any malice in his voice. He was never first in Dean's book, and that wasn't going to change now that he was dieing.
“You owe him, Dean,” he growled quietly. “Don't you dare let him down.”
“Goddammit, Sam!” his voice was broken open and raw. “I can't!” He cleared his throat and spoke more quietly. “I can't see him like that. I don't want to see him like that.”
Sam hated them both in that moment, but he hurt for them both, too. He touched Cas's forehead soothingly. “Sleep. I'll see if I can find the doctor for you.”
The newly human Cas nodded and closed his eyes. Sam swallowed and ran his fingers over the red bracelet for his allergy to acetaminophen and the purple one with a dove for his do not resuscitate order before getting up and searching for a doctor. They moved him into a permanent room a half hour later due to Sam's loud tactics of “convincing” that made Cas smile. A young nurse came in and attached a drip full of morphine.
“If you're in a lot of pain, then you just push this,” she explained pointing to the small button attached to the drip.
She left shortly after checking his IV lines and making sure he was comfortable. She smiled at Sam, pausing to squeeze his shoulder as she walked by.
“You don't have to stay.”
Sam smiled sadly. “Course I do.”
“Thank you, Sam,” he whispered his eyelids dropping.
He fought to stay awake, but they both knew it was a lost battle before he had even really started.
“You'll tell him right?” He was trembling and gasping. “You'll tell him?”
“Cas, I don't know what-”
“That I love him. You'll tell him that right? He has to know! Can't think it was his fault. Don't want him to blame...He can't...Please?”
“Course. 'Course I'll tell him.”
When Cas finally fell asleep, Sam had talked himself into the fantasy that the morphine was helping him, that he wasn't in pain even though Cas's mouth was twisted in what he had come to recognize as agony. He stayed close and listened as the morphine dripped slowly. No one had connected a heart monitor, so there was no other sounds except their breathing. Eventually, it was only his.
Sam put his face in his hands and wept.
Whenever Dean had needed him, Cas was there. When Sam had killed Lilith, Cas had given his life to keep him safe. In the future, Cas had walked into the death he had surely seen coming because Dean had asked him to come. Always, it had been Cas at his side even when Sam wasn't strong enough to be there. But when Cas took his last shaky breath, Dean wasn't there.
Servitude
Cas had been gone for a long time when Dean moved into a real house for the first time in his adult life. It had been Sam who had finally convinced him that he needed more stability in his life. After he broke his arm on a job and was diagnosed with osteoporosis, he had been permanently moved to a desk job. Much as he hated it, he had to admit if only to himself that a desk job had its perks. Like sleeping in.
He rolled out of bed and headed downstairs for a breakfast lunch hybrid meal at eleven thirty one Saturday morning. He made tea now instead of coffee and never ceased to find that hilarious. What Sam had in book smarts, he had on money attainment skills. He was living on a steady social security check, which he only found to be fair as he saved the entire world some years ago, and he was at least owed a steady influx of pie. He was sitting in front of the television with a cup of tea and some toast when he got a call from a young hunter asking for help with a vampire.
He grinned. “So, Natalie, you got a machete on you?”
~
Dean had gray hairs. He felt like he should be more mortified by that than he was. Things just didn't seem to bother him these days. He found himself more at ease with this aging than he had ever been before. So, it didn't really shatter his world when Cas showed up one day unannounced.
As beautiful as ever, Castiel knelt on the floor next to Dean's chair and put his head on his lap. His eyes were shiny and Dean could feel wetness seep into his jeans. He was holding something in his hands. Very gently he reached up and put it around Dean's neck. It was the pendant Sam had given him all those years ago.
“I promised to take good care of it,” Cas said weakly.
“You did.” He touched the pendant, smiling to himself.
Dean gestured for Cas to sit, but the angel shook his head. “I want to feel you. I haven't...” He looked away. “I haven't felt in so long. I missed how I used to feel with you.”
Dean grinned. “I still got it then I guess.” He laughed. “You find God?”
He felt Cas nod. “He gave me permission to come back to you.”
“That so?”
“I thought you'd be angry.”
“Too old for that now.” He ran his fingers absently through Cas's hair. It was soft and thick, still just as damn sexy as it had been thirty years ago. “You stayin' tonight?”
“If you'll have me.”
Dean's laugh was thick and rich, made all the better by a few more years of experience and wisdom. “You ever know me to turn you away from my bed, angel?”
“Never, Dean.”
“Get your ass over here, then.”
Without another word, Cas climbed into Dean's lap and kissed every spare inch of skin he could, pausing only to dispose of the various clothe barriers that impeded his quest.
~
When Cas woke the next morning to Dean's smile, he sobbed as Dean kissed him goodbye.
“I don't want you to go.”
Dean kissed away the tears. “I'll be with you soon. That's what the big guy said, right? Just you, me and forever. Right?”
“It won't be long. You've already begun to find you peace.”
“That why I'm not so stressed out anymore?”
Cas nodded. “You're soul is preparing for rest by helping you find the Calm.”
So, when Dean fell asleep a few hours later in front of the television after eating a slice of cherry pie Cas had made and didn't wake up, it didn't come as a surprise. It didn't, however, hurt any less.
Tease
Wings were fucking fascinating. Dean ran his fingers over the soft feathers and listened to Cas curse in a foreign tongue beneath him. His wings were a smattering of brown, black and white feathers that looked to perfect to be real. He slid his hand into the space between Cas's back and his wings. He could feel the joint where the bones in his wings connected to his spine.
“Ahh! Dean,” Cas gasped arching into the touch.
“It's alright.” Dean assured him.
He kissed the twin spots right above where the wings met the flesh and licked at the pools of sweat that were there. Cas moaned and thrust shallowly against the mattress.
Cas was gasping and panting and out of the myriad of sounds, Dean managed to make out a weak plea of “Stop! Please. Stop!”
Dean froze. “What?”
“Stop, Dean.”
Instantly, he pulled away but Cas rolled over and drew him close for a kiss. “I want something else this time.”
Dean cocked his head. “Did I hurt you? Are your wings too-”
“No. Nothing like that.” He was shaking his hand and looking away. Dean thought he could see a faint coloring of pink on his cheeks. “I was looking at those movies you buy at the motels, and they can...” He colored darker. “With their penises. They can...”
Dean raised an eyebrow and frowned before it dawned on him exactly what Cas was asking for. “You want penetration.”
Cas's smile was small and shy. “I want to experience what it feel like. It looks so pleasurable.”
“It is,” he agreed leaning down to kiss the knob of Cas's collarbone. “But it hurts, too. Just a little, and I'll try my best not be rough. But I'm human. You have to tell me if it's too much. And we'll stop if you-”
Cas silenced him by pressing the tip of his forefinger against his lips. “Enough. I understand what you're saying. It takes time and patience. I have...researched the topic and I can handle it.”
“You think so?” he challenged with a grin. “Okay then.”
Dean leaned down licked a stripe from Cas's navel to sternum and straddled his lover. He shivered slightly.
“Goddamn heat,” Dean mumbled.
Cas pulled him up, so that Dean was sitting on his lap. “Come here.”
“Cas?”
He wrapped his wings around Dean's back, protecting him and keeping him warm.
“Stay,” he whispered.
Instead of answering, Dean took Cas's hand in his and kissed each knuckle before he got the lube off of the nightstand. Cas gasped as his lover's fingers, now slick, circled his entrance. He gripped Dean's shoulders as the first finger pushed in and whined. It was so...he felt so full. He twisted against the intrusion trying to push it out and take it deeper at the same time. It took a few moments for him to realize that Dean was kissing his throat and whispering in his ear.
“It's okay. You're okay. It's safe.” He licked the shell of Cas's ear. “I'll take care of you, sweetheart.”
Gradually, Cas relaxed enough for him to add another finger. A warm wetness engulfed his cock and he cried out. Dean was sucking on his erection lazily, teasing him with the moist heat.
“Oh, Dean. It's so...” he broke off shuddering as the fingers inside of him moved and stretched. It was an ache to be sure but it dulled and faded when Dean brushed against something inside that made Cas see stars and light behind his eyelids. “What was...Oh!”
He arched against Dean, bucking wildly and frantically. Trying desperately to get more, needing to get more. Dean released his cock with an obscene sound and sat up, still moving his fingers. Cas was dimly aware of him adding another.
“That's your prostate.” He said with a laugh. “It's nice that you two have finally met.”
Cas's wings tightened around him as he raised his leg to loop around Dean's waist. “Fuck.”
“Did you just-”
“Shut up, Dean!” he groaned. “More, please. More.”
Dean smiled and complied, spreading his fingers wide, captivated by how much Cas could take. He liked seeing how the muscles tightened and relaxed around him.
“Ready?”
He nodded and watched with dark eyes as Dean poured more lube on his hand and fisted his cock. The pearls of pre-come didn't escape Cas's eye.
“A little wider. Here,” he lifted Cas's legs, “Put them on my shoulders.”
Cas obeyed and as Dean began to sink deep inside, he urged him on with his wings. They wrapped around Dean's shoulders and stroked the quivering muscles trying to sooth the tension.
“It's...Dean, I can feel you inside.”
“Yeah?” he shuddered as he bottomed out and buried his face in Cas's neck. “You okay?”
He spoke softly. “It hurts a little.”
Dean groaned and shifted a little, the movement caused Cas to cry out in pain, and he froze. “Tell me,” he ground out. “No. Move against me when you can.”
It took everything he had not to press Cas into the mattress and thrust in and out until his orgasm overwhelmed him. It sure as hell had to be a sin to fuck an angel of the Lord. His heat was perfect, hot and tight with the right contractions that wanted to milk every drop from his cock.
“It hurts you,” Cas murmured and ran his hand up and down Dean's cheek. “You're in pain.”
“Hurts so good, baby,” he managed weakly.
To his surprise, Cas moaned and thre his head back. A long line of neck was exposed, and Dean couldn't stop himself from bending down to take a light nip at the flesh.
“Dean!” he growled. “Move!”
He didn't need anymore coaxing and started thrusting his hips. Cas writhed beneath him, loving the new sensations. It hurt and tore him apart in the most mind blowingly pleasant ways. When Dean wrapped his hand around his erection, which had been trapped between their bellies, and began to tug, he screamed and came. He felt wetness and pulsing inside when he came back to himself. Dean made to pull out, but Cas pressed his wings more tightly around him. He didn't have to say anything but the demand was explicit. Stay.
“'Kay, but this is gonna be messy when we wake up.”
Cas smiled. “You're still inside of me.”
“Yeah. I am, baby. I am.”
Part 5