ABC's of Angelic intimacy 2/5

[kaylynnkie]

Title: ABCs of Angelic Intimacy

Author: kaylynnkie

Disclaimer: Not mine

Pairing: Dean/Cas

Warning: BDSM, (some) AU, major and minor character death, character illness (longterm), solo pleasure and various kinks.

Summary: Exploring the relationship between Dean and Cas; a series of 26 drabbles


Floundering

Castiel held back the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks. “Will he follow me?”

Michael shook his head. “He will fly to Heaven. Father is pleased with him. There is no reason for him to follow you.”

“I-Michael, you promise me?”

The archangel kissed him tenderly. There was nothing but pure affection in the touch. It was nothing like when Dean kissed him.

“My brother, I would never lie to you.”

“I know that.”

Tears spilled hotly down his cheeks and he whimpered when Michael pulled away. The elder angel wiped away the tears.

“I will come back before it is time.”

“Brother.”

Michael turned back with an intent look on his face. “Yes?”

“Protect him for me?”

“Of course.”

Then he was gone. A whisper of wings, and Castiel felt his heart break.

Gravity

One day, Dean came home with a brown paper bag in his hand and Cas looked at it curiously, but he didn't say anything. They ate dinner together and discussed how their days had passed. Dean was bored. Cas could tell these things. He was starting to look more longingly at the Impala and the job he had at the garage wasn't challenging. The people who lived here were rude and loud. Dean was loud and rude, too, but he was kind and gentle. He liked to help people and Naebrook, North Dakota, was not doing it for them. True, they had a reason to be here, but the angels were taking a damn long time to figure it out. The had already been here two months, and Dean had a feeling that the angels were throwing them for a loop. They had given him Cas as insurance, but there was nothing Cas could say to ease Dean.

As they sat at the table eating dinner, Cas cleared his throat and turned to the man he had come to adore.

“Did you fix any of the cars you like today?”

He looked disgusted at the question. “Nobody has a real car here. They all have freakin' hybrids and shit. I hate those. There's nothing...beautiful about them. Not like her,” he said tilting his head towards the Impala. “She's beautiful. She's loved.”

“You always smile when you see your car, Dean.”

A dark blush stained his cheeks. “It's just...she matters, you know? Like she knows I care about her.”

Cas frowned, wishing he could understand Dean's feelings. “I am sorry you are not happy here.”

“I want to go do something!” He flung his fork onto his plate. “All we're doing is sitting on our asses here. Fuck. I've never felt so useless.”

“This is like any of your other jobs. We just need to wait longer.”

Muttering darkly, he said “Sammy would have figured this out weeks ago.”

“We still can't move until it's time,” Cas reminded him gently.

“Whatever.” He picked up his plate, still half full of chicken and rice, and threw the food out before putting it in the sink. “I'm gonna take a shower.”

He took the bag with him as he left. Cas smiled to himself once Dean had gone. Dean needed attention. He needed to address some of the problems he was having.

~

Cas changed while Dean was on the shower, listening to Dean's off tune humming of “Wherever I May Roam” and sat on the bed to wait. He was dressed in dark pants with a crisp dress shirt and several of the first few buttons were undone. The brown bag was in the bathroom with Dean and Cas wondered where he had gone shopping this time.

“I went to the store during my lunch break.”

“The one in town?”

“Yeah.” He shuffled nervously, wearing only a towel and looking at the floor. “For us...”

“Speak up,” Cas reminded him gently.

He cleared his throat. “I just meant that I went shopping for us.”

“What did you get?”

Smiling, he knelt on the floor between Cas's legs and set the bag on the floor next to them. He tilted his head up.

“Kiss?” he asked shyly.

The angel bent down and tenderly met his lips, sliding his tongue past Dean's lips and stroking the moist cavern. Dean was submissive and eagerly opened his mouth to Cas's intrusion. When they pulled apart, Dean was panting, his eyes wide and more black then green.

“You can always have a kiss,” he reminded him, while stroking his cheek. “Now, show me.”

There was a faint blush on Dean's face as he removed two items and an expensive looking bottle of lube. The first item was a set of cuffs, leather with a heavy looking chain linking them together, and the second was a thick phallic object that Cas wasn't entirely familiar with. It was just under 10 inches long and had to have been an inch or so in diameter at the thickest point, but the diameter varied at an array of bulges along the shaft. Dean looked at it with eagerness before turning both items over to Cas for inspection.

“Do you want to play with this?” he said thoughtfully as he turned the phallus in his hand.

Dean nodded, biting his lower lip and turning to look at the floor. He made a soft noise and looked up when Cas touched his chin. He placed the new toy and the bottle of lube into his hands.

“Then go ahead.”

Though there was a blush that painted Dean's cheeks, his breath was coming in short gasps and he looked at Cas with a sort of wonder and apparent arousal. He wanted this, and he wanted Cas to want it, too. Gently, Cas tugged him up onto the bed and then leaned against the headboard, surrounded by pillows.

“Show me how you like to take it,” he said softly.

Dean set down the toy and picked up the lube, drizzling it over his hand and dragged his hand over his shaft. He worked himself in slow, easy strokes. Only when his hips started bucking did he let go with a rough squeeze to the swollen column of flesh. He laid down on his back, giving Cas a full view of everything between his legs before he started to circle his hole with slick fingers.

“Oh!” He arched as he slid the tip of his forefinger inside and his head lolled back. “Cas, it's...” He twisted his fingers and whined. Cas reached down and pressed the heel of his hand against the bulge in his own pants. It would do no good to lose it before he got into that willing body himself.

“What?” He gripped Dean's calf, which was tense and taunt with pleasure. “Tell me. In words. How does it feel?”

He watched Dean slide in another finger and work them inside until they were past his first knuckle. His other hand was toying with his nipple, alternating between pinching and stroking. With his bottom lip securely between his teeth, he started thrusting his fingers.

“It's different,” he finally managed to gasp, “than when you do it to me....When you're-” he broke off gasping, and Cas knew he had managed to find his sweet spot. “inside- Ah! I feel so full, like there's no one else in the world. And I-Oh!” He broke off thrusting his fingers in faster.

“Careful, sweetheart. You still want to use the toy?”

Dean's eyes were blown wide with lust and need. It was all Cas could do to keep from throwing himself at his lover.

“Yes, but I want you, too,” he pouted.

“You'll have me. But this first.”

He pressed the phallus into Dean's hand and Dean pulled his fingers free with an audible pop! Cas had made sure it was already slick with lube, but it was flavored lube. Dean's favorite kind of cherry, and Cas watched as Dean ran his tongue down from the very tip all the way to the base.

Smirking wickedly, Dean slid the tip down his body from his chest to his navel down his thighs and then circled back around to his entrance. He locked eyes with Cas and slipped it inside. They both moaned at the action.

“Oh, Dean. Darling, talk to me.”

“Cas,” he whispered before he started sliding more of the length inside of himself. “So much.”

As Dean worked himself, Cas undid the buttons of his jeans. The inches slipped inside slowly but steadily. Finally, just as Cas was beginning to think he couldn't take anymore, Dean shuddered and finally stopped. His eyes fluttered open and came to rest on Cas.

“Kept thinking it was you inside, but you're so warm and heavy.” He started rotating his hips in slow, lazy circles and rested his palm against his belly. “It's so different.”

“Stroke yourself for me.” Dean obeyed readily and began to tug at his erection. His cock was straining and pre-cum was drooling down its length. “I'm going to come and slide under you. Is that alright?”

He nodded and Cas slid down the bed, so that he could tug Dean between his legs. From this angle, he could see Dean's opening and see how tightly it was gripping the toy. He could also see the knob on the bottom. He grinned and pressed his knee against Dean's side. “Touch yourself,” he reminded Dean when he caught the other man watching him with interest.

Blushing, Dean resumed stroking and groping himself, moaning openly now.

“Do you like feeling fucked?”

“Yes, Cas.”

“Good.”

He gripped the base of the shaft and began to work it in and out of Dean's hole. His inner muscles were shiny with lube and they clenched at the piece of plastic eagerly. Cas ran his fingers over the controls and pressed down on Dean's hip before turning the dial. Dean shrieked and came hard all over his hand. Cas kept working him through his climax until Dean was moaning and jerking his hips in time with Cas's thrusts.

“Are you alright?”

“Holy hell. That was...” he closed his eyes. “That was amazing.”

Cas gently removed the toy and set it aside so he could watch Dean collect himself. Post-orgasm bliss washed through him, and he collapsed at Cas's feet, panting for breath and shaking. Cas cleared his throat and Dean looked up at him, swaying slightly.

Cas held up the cuffs and twirled them around on his finger. “My turn.”

~

Dean fell asleep in Cas's embrace, feeling for the first time in a long time like he was anchored down and nothing was coming to take him away. A long time ago, he remembered someone calling it safe.

Hypnotized

The bar was littered with an assortment of people from the tranny hooker to the businessman with his cuffs still buttoned. Dean took a long swallow from his bottle, lazily raking his eyes over the pool tables and the little clusters of people at the tables. There was a pretty redhead next to a brunette with long hair and intelligent eyes. She met his gaze and smirked, something about it making him hot but not for her. She seemed to know it and her eyes sparkled before she looked back to her friend. They were sipping something too bright for his liking.

A new man walked into the bar. Disinterested, he turned back to the bartender, but the bartender was far too involved with staring at the newcomer. Annoyed now, he turned to give the guy a once over and his heart pounded against his ribs. He was wearing a crisp suit and a black coat. His hands were covered with expensive black leather gloves that he was in the process of taking off. On his left hand he wore a thin metal band.

Bright blue eyes regarded him with vague interest but he only spared Dean a glance before walking confidently across the room and taking a seat at the bar. “Whiskey, please. Neat.” His voice rasped and scratched something inside of Dean that sent a shiver of lust straight down his spine. He wanted to hear what that voice sounded like once it was well and truly fucked out.

“You from somewhere around here?”

The stranger smirked. “Certainly from somewhere.”

“That somewhere got a name?” He was flirting shamelessly and hoped that it would work.

“You want to know it?” He asked, turning to face Dean. There was nothing malicious about his words. Just a certain...certainty that Dean wanted to bottle away and drink up when he was alone. He leaned in close. “Or do you want me to tell you what you want, handsome?”

Dean barely stifled the gasp. Barely.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

He nodded at the bartender when he was handed his drink and slipped a bill into the man's hand before turning back to Dean. “What do you want it to mean?”

After another swallow of beer, Dean thought maybe he wasn't sure with this one. “You hittin' on me? In the middle of a crowded bar? That's a little tacky, isn't it?”

“You talked to me first.”

It was obscene the way the man was drinking his whiskey, like was something precious and perfect that required extensive tongue laving around the rim and-

“So, you got a name there?”

“Dean.”

The stranger tilted his head. “Dean.” He paused. “I like that name. It suits you.”

“Yeah. It's been working out for me.”

The stranger smiled, the brightness reaching up into his eyes. “You certainly have a smart mouth.”

Dean snorted and looked up at him with a smile. “That's not all I got. So what should I call you?”

“You can call me Sir, smart ass.”

Dean took a long swig from the bottle. It was starting to get low. “I don't call just anyone Sir.”

“Of course not, but I think you'll make an exception for me.” The look in the other man's eyes went straight to his cock, and he shifted under the scrutiny, not wanting the other man to see exactly the effect he was having on Dean's lower brain. “I think you like it a little rough. A little dangerous maybe?” He was running his hand up and down Dean's thigh.

“I might like that,” he whispered.

Tentatively, he reached out to touch the back of Sir's hand. Those blue eyes lit up with approval, and he leaned in close for a kiss.

“You need a place to stay, pet?” He paused, then chuckled. “Or play perhaps?”

Dean made as if to say something but remained silent, and Sir raised a single eyebrow.

“It's your choice,” he murmured softly, running his thumb across Dean's chin and tapping Dean's nose with his forefinger. “I'll be waiting.” Before he left, he made sure to look pointedly at left Dean's hand.

On Dean's middle finger, he wore a thin silver band like the one Sir was wearing. He touched it as he remembered when it had first been put on. Sir had knelt down at his feet and whispered his promises, sealing them with a soft kiss, before slipping the piece of silver onto his finger. I serve you in your service to me. Always remember the love I bear for you is as fierce as your love for me, that I am the true slave to your desires even when you are the one who appears to be my slave. A feeling of warmth spread through Dean and he set down some money for the beer before following Sir outside.

Independent

Zachariah watched in disbelief as Cas turned away from him. “You're making a mistake. Castiel, you should-”

“No!” he snarled. “I'm tired of people telling me what I should do. You should believe in our Father's plan. Why do you not believe in Him?”

“He's left us. Why can't you see that?”

Cas was looking past the human vessel and at Zachariah's true form. The angel was bowed in shame and sadness emanated from him. He remembered long ago when the two of them had been allies, when he had readily obeyed his superior without a second thought. Now, no angelic being commanded that of him. Only Dean could be awarded the respect that had once been reserved for the higher choirs.

He reached out with his soul and touched his brother. “Because I can't. He is our Father. He will never be gone. Zachariah-”

“He's turned you against us,” Zachariah murmured sadly. “They won't let you come home now. Not so long as you have given his heart to him.”

Cas turned away, his eyes falling to the ground. Instead of feeling sorrow, his heart swelled with joy. He could give his heart to Dean.

“Father knows. He must.”

“You'll be damned because of this human child.”

Cas touched his cheek. “Would you rather I be damned for you?” He pressed his forehead against Zachariah's. “Because I fall for him, you damn me? I wish you could see, brother. Humans are beautiful, and if you can't see it, then you can't love me like he does.”

The last time he saw Zachariah it was at a dark motel and the smell of ash and fear hung in the air. There was no guilt when he walked away, and he wasn't afraid. There was no one to give him orders, but that was alright. He could hear the Impala coming around the corner and knew Dean would be here soon.

Just me

“It's all I got, Cas!”

“You are not putting yourself in danger!”

The two were squaring off against each other and for the first time in a while, Cas was not budging on this. Dean refused to let the other angel get away with it either.

“You're being selfish! Those people in there depend on me.”

“Why can't I be selfish?” he demanded. “Those people demand everything of you. They never praise you, never let you rest, and then you let the anger and the bitterness take everything that you are. Dean, you are more than their sacrifice!”

“Yeah,” but it didn't sound like he believed Cas at all. “I'm their leader, too. And sometimes you let me fuck you, so I'm your lover and sometimes I get blamed for everything! I have responsibilities. I can't just ignore that, and that's what you're asking me to do. It's not fair of you.” He tilted Cas's chin up to him. “Hey,” he said more softly, “Look at me. Don't be like that.”

“I don't want you to go.” That pout gave Dean pause. “I gave up so much for you. To be with you. I'll miss you.”

He stood there, with Cas's hands in his and remembered all the nights they had spent in the bathroom as Cas threw up the contents of his stomach. As Dean forced him to drink water, so he'd have something to throw up. Cas breaking down, begging for more. Please, just one more. One more. That's all, then I'll stop. Then, when it was all over, Cas had turned to him, eyes bright for the first time in years, and reached up to tap his nose. They had both smiled. Dean loved that memory because it had a happy ending. The bottle went in the trashcan and they went to bed. Together. There weren't enough happy endings in Dean's opinion.

“I love you. There's no way I wouldn't miss you, too, but I'm the only one who can go up against Lucifer like this. Like...”

“He is wearing Sam's face, but he is not Sam.” The angel gripped Dean's hands so tightly, it was almost painful. “He is not your Sammy. That man is not here anymore.”

“Who else?” he growled. “Who else if not me? Who else will face him? People have tried and they burn in his presence.”

“You'll die!”

“It's worth it dammit!” he growled and pushed Cas away. “When I win, I'll save people. My life isn't worth the whole freakin' human race!”

“The people in this camp worship you. Who will they look to for guidance once this is all over? Who will I look to? I'll be alone again. Dean, I don't want to be alone again. I want to be with you.”

“I'm just me, Cas.” He sat down heavily and put his head in his hands. “There's no one else.”

Cas pulled his hands away and forced Dean to look at him. “But that's why I love you, Dean Winchester. You are you, the one I love, and there must be another way.”

Shaking his head, Dean kissed Cas chastely.

“Sometimes there isn't.”

The door made a soft sound when it closed behind him, but as Cas knelt on the floor, tears beginning to stream down his face, he realized he had never heard a sound so loud and final before.

 Part 3