Had another bust up with the English...but reading this made me feel sooo much better...
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for 6 days.
Eventually Gabriel the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day,
and
he inquired of God, "Where have you been??"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards
through the clouds, "Look Gabriel, look what I've made!" Archangel
Gabriel
said "What is it?"
"It's a planet" replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call
it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance". "Balance?"
inquired Gabriel, still confused.
God explained pointing to different parts of Earth, "for example
Northern
Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern
Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot
spot.
Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a
continent of black people", God continued, pointing to different
countries.
"And over there, I call this place America. North America will be rich
and
powerful and cold, while South America will be poor, and hot and
friendly.
And the little spot in the middle is Central America, which is a hot
spot.
Can you see the balance??"
Yes!" said the Archangel, impressed by Gods work. Then he pointed to a
small country in Northern Europe, "what's that one?" "Ah," said God,
"That's Wales, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful
snow
capped mountains, untouched rivers, streams and lakes of exquisite,
timeless beauty. The people make a drink called cwrw (beer) which means
the
'Water of Life'.
The people are good looking, intelligent and humorous and they're going
to
be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard
working
and high achieving and they will be known throughout the world as
warriors,
engineers, inventors and pioneers".
Gabriel gasped in wonder and then admiration but then exclaimed "But you
said there will be a BALANCE!" God replied wisely "Wait until you see
the bastards I'm putting next to them!"
Eventually Gabriel the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day,
and
he inquired of God, "Where have you been??"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards
through the clouds, "Look Gabriel, look what I've made!" Archangel
Gabriel
said "What is it?"
"It's a planet" replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call
it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance". "Balance?"
inquired Gabriel, still confused.
God explained pointing to different parts of Earth, "for example
Northern
Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern
Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot
spot.
Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a
continent of black people", God continued, pointing to different
countries.
"And over there, I call this place America. North America will be rich
and
powerful and cold, while South America will be poor, and hot and
friendly.
And the little spot in the middle is Central America, which is a hot
spot.
Can you see the balance??"
Yes!" said the Archangel, impressed by Gods work. Then he pointed to a
small country in Northern Europe, "what's that one?" "Ah," said God,
"That's Wales, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful
snow
capped mountains, untouched rivers, streams and lakes of exquisite,
timeless beauty. The people make a drink called cwrw (beer) which means
the
'Water of Life'.
The people are good looking, intelligent and humorous and they're going
to
be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard
working
and high achieving and they will be known throughout the world as
warriors,
engineers, inventors and pioneers".
Gabriel gasped in wonder and then admiration but then exclaimed "But you
said there will be a BALANCE!" God replied wisely "Wait until you see
the bastards I'm putting next to them!"