A little more Mara and Shada
Probably the only people who care are gabri_jade and acbshada, but here's a page more of the Mara and Shada story (I keep typing Mara/Shada and then realizing that's not quite what I meant {g}). I'm just repasting the whole thing here because I'm sure no one remembers the beginning. Still not sure where this is going, but it's a little bit longer now so maybe it'll figure itself out.
[Old stuff]
Shada spent the first day simply shadowing Mara, watching her interact with the others under her command, learning their names and ranks and the ways they responded to her commands. She knew some of them, of course, having spent the last several weeks with the crew of the Wild Karrde, but there were plenty of new faces at the Coruscant base. It was clear they trusted Mara's judgment and respected her as a leader in the organization, but there was plenty of good-natured ribbing among them as well. By now the reason for her imminent departure was common knowledge throughout the galaxy, and her coworkers lost no opportunity to remind her of it. Shada watched it all with fascination.
Near midday Mara suggested they break for lunch, and Shada agreed. They went to a small cafe where Karrde's people were apparently well-known; the server recognized Mara and asked if she wanted her usual order.
As they waited for their food, Shada studied the other woman. Mara sipped at her drink, apparently watching the other patrons of the restaurant, but after a minute she spoke up. "Am I that fascinating?"
"What?"
"You're studying me pretty intently. What is it that's so disconcerting?"
Shada narrowed her eyes. "I thought Jedi didn't read others' thoughts without permission."
Mara still wasn't looking at her, but Shada could see her roll her eyes. "Please. I don't need to be a Jedi to notice things. You were a Mistryl; you know better than that. I imagine anyone trained in body language could tell you're upset with me." At last she turned to look at Shada. "And for the record, no, Jedi don't read other people's thoughts. So what is it?"
Shada shook her head. "I'm not upset with you. Just... confused, I guess."
"Am I that confusing? It's been a pretty average day; you haven't seen me do anything unusual. What is it?"
Shada frowned. At last she admitted, "You aren't what I expected."
Mara laughed, a short, harsh sound. "And what did you expect?"
"You have something of a reputation," Shada pointed out, as tactfully as she could. "Intelligent. Competent. Dangerous. A former Imperial agent and assassin."
And that was the problem, Shada realized. The woman she'd spent the morning with was certainly intelligent and competent, a natural leader and excellent at what she did. But the legendary Mara Jade she'd expected, the Emperor's Hand, would not have tolerated teasing from her subordinates. Would not have smiled amicably at a waiter in a small cafe and ordered 'the usual.' Would not be planning a marriage-- a love match-- to Luke Skywalker, the squeaky-clean Jedi poster-boy and darling of the New Republic.
Mara laughed again, turning away once more and picking up her drink. "Is that it? I'm not dangerous enough for you?"
There was mockery in her voice, but Shada wasn't sure if it was directed at her. Still, Shada realized how ridiculous it sounded when spoken aloud. "It's not that... I guess I just imagined you differently."
"That's the problem with reputations, you know," Mara said, conversationally. "They're never accurate." After a moment she continued. "Yes, I was the Emperor's Hand. 'Intelligent, competent, and dangerous.' An Imperial agent and assassin. I hunted traitors and blew up pirate bases and commanded stormtroopers. I killed people my master deemed enemies of the Empire.
"But I also spent days doing research, or hiding undercover in the Imperial court. I was trained as a dancer, a courtier, a translator. There were whole days when I didn't kill anyone! Weeks, even! When I didn't so much as touch a weapon." The mockery in her voice was stronger now. "Imagine that."
She gestured at the cafe. "And now there are days when I come to work, I listen to what my people have to say and advise them on what to do next, I have lunch in small cafes like this one, and I go home. Whole days when I don't even yell at anyone. But you don't hear about those."
Shada raised an eyebrow, a bit embarrassed. "I guess you hear this a lot."
Mara shook her head. "Not as often as you might think. And plenty of people are still too afraid of me to mention it." She raised her glass in mock-salute to Shada. "There's a point in your favor."
"Does it bother you? Your reputation?"
The red-haired woman shrugged, absently swirling the liquid still in her glass. "No. Not really. I am all those things you said. Former Imperial. Assassin. They just aren't all I am."
"Wife?" Shada asked lightly, trying to hide the skepticism in her voice.
She gave another mirthless laugh. "You didn't see that one coming, did you?" But the candid expression on her face was gone now, shuttered away behind wariness and mistrust. "But yes. What about it?"
[new stuff]
Shada hesitated, sorry she'd brought it up if it meant losing the candor of the last several minutes. "It's just unexpected," she said at last, realizing it was what she'd said before.
That earned her another chuckle. "Believe me, I didn't expect it either,"
There was something in her voice that intrigued Shada. "What's he like? Luke Skywalker?" she asked, trying to sound merely curious and not like a star-struck teenager. In truth, she was more curious to hear what Mara would say about her fiancée than she was to hear about Luke himself.
Mara studied her for a moment, as if gauging her intentions. At last her gaze fell back to the table. "I suppose you expect me to say that he's a good man. A war hero, but an idealist. A boy who grew up on Tatooine, and a man who grew up in the trenches of the Rebellion. Is that what you expect me to say?
"Or maybe you want me to talk about how I hated him for years-- wanted him dead by my hands-- and how he single-handedly rehabilitated me and brought me over to the good side? And how very much I love him for it? Is that it?
"Or, maybe, I don't really love him at all, but we plan to start a Jedi dynasty with my womb and his Skywalker DNA? Maybe that's what you want me to say?"
Shada held up her hands. "Calm down, Jade, I'm not a holoreporter.”
Mara raised an eyebrow. “We're in the information business, same as a holoreporter. The only difference between them and us is that we're choosier about who we disseminate our information to."
Shada inclined her head. "Fair enough, but I don't think Karrde will be trafficking in details about your personal life any time soon. I was just asking.”
At that moment their waiter appeared, bearing their sandwiches. For a moment they busied themselves with their food, but at last Mara said, "The trouble is, the truth about Luke-- about Luke and me-- isn't as simple as the holoreporters will make it out to be. They'll speculate that he's been pining after me for years but I was involved with Lando Calrissian, or that I was secretly in love with him since Wayland but he was in relationship after relationship. They'll try to psychoanalyze and reverse-engineer and quantify; they'll want moments and turning points and reasons, and none of it can be pinned down that way." She toyed with the edge of her sandwich. "I don't even really understand it myself."
Shada nodded evenly, considering. "Do you love him?"
Mara shot her a suspicious sideways look, but she nodded. "Yes."
"So this isn't a move to start a race of super Jedi babies?" Shada asked, wanting to ease the tension of the moment.
Mara laughed. "No. That's just a bonus." She sobered. "The thing about Luke is that he's all of those things-- farmboy, Rebel, hero, Jedi Master, brother-- but they aren't all he is. They aren't even most of what he is. And they aren't what made me love him."
[8/16/07] "What was, then?" Shada prompted, curious almost despite herself.
But Mara, it seemed, had had enough of confiding in strangers. She gave Shada an enigmatic, thoughtful smile. "What indeed?" she murmured, more to herself. Then her gaze focused on the Mistryl once more. "You know, for what it's worth, you aren't really what I'd have expected, either."
Shada looked up, surprised. "No?"
"No."
"What did you expect, then?"
Mara shrugged a little. "Well, I didn't really know what to expect. Karrde's never asked me to train a replacement before, obviously. But I guess if I'd put any thought into it, I guess I'd have expected him to select someone from within the organization, instead of bringing in someone new."
Shada frowned. "Karrde said you'd only been with the group for a short while before he started training you as his second."
"Six months," Mara confirmed. "But you'd been with Karrde for, what, six weeks?"
[And that's it... I think I'm tiptoeing toward Shada/Karrde now.]
[Old stuff]
Shada spent the first day simply shadowing Mara, watching her interact with the others under her command, learning their names and ranks and the ways they responded to her commands. She knew some of them, of course, having spent the last several weeks with the crew of the Wild Karrde, but there were plenty of new faces at the Coruscant base. It was clear they trusted Mara's judgment and respected her as a leader in the organization, but there was plenty of good-natured ribbing among them as well. By now the reason for her imminent departure was common knowledge throughout the galaxy, and her coworkers lost no opportunity to remind her of it. Shada watched it all with fascination.
Near midday Mara suggested they break for lunch, and Shada agreed. They went to a small cafe where Karrde's people were apparently well-known; the server recognized Mara and asked if she wanted her usual order.
As they waited for their food, Shada studied the other woman. Mara sipped at her drink, apparently watching the other patrons of the restaurant, but after a minute she spoke up. "Am I that fascinating?"
"What?"
"You're studying me pretty intently. What is it that's so disconcerting?"
Shada narrowed her eyes. "I thought Jedi didn't read others' thoughts without permission."
Mara still wasn't looking at her, but Shada could see her roll her eyes. "Please. I don't need to be a Jedi to notice things. You were a Mistryl; you know better than that. I imagine anyone trained in body language could tell you're upset with me." At last she turned to look at Shada. "And for the record, no, Jedi don't read other people's thoughts. So what is it?"
Shada shook her head. "I'm not upset with you. Just... confused, I guess."
"Am I that confusing? It's been a pretty average day; you haven't seen me do anything unusual. What is it?"
Shada frowned. At last she admitted, "You aren't what I expected."
Mara laughed, a short, harsh sound. "And what did you expect?"
"You have something of a reputation," Shada pointed out, as tactfully as she could. "Intelligent. Competent. Dangerous. A former Imperial agent and assassin."
And that was the problem, Shada realized. The woman she'd spent the morning with was certainly intelligent and competent, a natural leader and excellent at what she did. But the legendary Mara Jade she'd expected, the Emperor's Hand, would not have tolerated teasing from her subordinates. Would not have smiled amicably at a waiter in a small cafe and ordered 'the usual.' Would not be planning a marriage-- a love match-- to Luke Skywalker, the squeaky-clean Jedi poster-boy and darling of the New Republic.
Mara laughed again, turning away once more and picking up her drink. "Is that it? I'm not dangerous enough for you?"
There was mockery in her voice, but Shada wasn't sure if it was directed at her. Still, Shada realized how ridiculous it sounded when spoken aloud. "It's not that... I guess I just imagined you differently."
"That's the problem with reputations, you know," Mara said, conversationally. "They're never accurate." After a moment she continued. "Yes, I was the Emperor's Hand. 'Intelligent, competent, and dangerous.' An Imperial agent and assassin. I hunted traitors and blew up pirate bases and commanded stormtroopers. I killed people my master deemed enemies of the Empire.
"But I also spent days doing research, or hiding undercover in the Imperial court. I was trained as a dancer, a courtier, a translator. There were whole days when I didn't kill anyone! Weeks, even! When I didn't so much as touch a weapon." The mockery in her voice was stronger now. "Imagine that."
She gestured at the cafe. "And now there are days when I come to work, I listen to what my people have to say and advise them on what to do next, I have lunch in small cafes like this one, and I go home. Whole days when I don't even yell at anyone. But you don't hear about those."
Shada raised an eyebrow, a bit embarrassed. "I guess you hear this a lot."
Mara shook her head. "Not as often as you might think. And plenty of people are still too afraid of me to mention it." She raised her glass in mock-salute to Shada. "There's a point in your favor."
"Does it bother you? Your reputation?"
The red-haired woman shrugged, absently swirling the liquid still in her glass. "No. Not really. I am all those things you said. Former Imperial. Assassin. They just aren't all I am."
"Wife?" Shada asked lightly, trying to hide the skepticism in her voice.
She gave another mirthless laugh. "You didn't see that one coming, did you?" But the candid expression on her face was gone now, shuttered away behind wariness and mistrust. "But yes. What about it?"
[new stuff]
Shada hesitated, sorry she'd brought it up if it meant losing the candor of the last several minutes. "It's just unexpected," she said at last, realizing it was what she'd said before.
That earned her another chuckle. "Believe me, I didn't expect it either,"
There was something in her voice that intrigued Shada. "What's he like? Luke Skywalker?" she asked, trying to sound merely curious and not like a star-struck teenager. In truth, she was more curious to hear what Mara would say about her fiancée than she was to hear about Luke himself.
Mara studied her for a moment, as if gauging her intentions. At last her gaze fell back to the table. "I suppose you expect me to say that he's a good man. A war hero, but an idealist. A boy who grew up on Tatooine, and a man who grew up in the trenches of the Rebellion. Is that what you expect me to say?
"Or maybe you want me to talk about how I hated him for years-- wanted him dead by my hands-- and how he single-handedly rehabilitated me and brought me over to the good side? And how very much I love him for it? Is that it?
"Or, maybe, I don't really love him at all, but we plan to start a Jedi dynasty with my womb and his Skywalker DNA? Maybe that's what you want me to say?"
Shada held up her hands. "Calm down, Jade, I'm not a holoreporter.”
Mara raised an eyebrow. “We're in the information business, same as a holoreporter. The only difference between them and us is that we're choosier about who we disseminate our information to."
Shada inclined her head. "Fair enough, but I don't think Karrde will be trafficking in details about your personal life any time soon. I was just asking.”
At that moment their waiter appeared, bearing their sandwiches. For a moment they busied themselves with their food, but at last Mara said, "The trouble is, the truth about Luke-- about Luke and me-- isn't as simple as the holoreporters will make it out to be. They'll speculate that he's been pining after me for years but I was involved with Lando Calrissian, or that I was secretly in love with him since Wayland but he was in relationship after relationship. They'll try to psychoanalyze and reverse-engineer and quantify; they'll want moments and turning points and reasons, and none of it can be pinned down that way." She toyed with the edge of her sandwich. "I don't even really understand it myself."
Shada nodded evenly, considering. "Do you love him?"
Mara shot her a suspicious sideways look, but she nodded. "Yes."
"So this isn't a move to start a race of super Jedi babies?" Shada asked, wanting to ease the tension of the moment.
Mara laughed. "No. That's just a bonus." She sobered. "The thing about Luke is that he's all of those things-- farmboy, Rebel, hero, Jedi Master, brother-- but they aren't all he is. They aren't even most of what he is. And they aren't what made me love him."
[8/16/07] "What was, then?" Shada prompted, curious almost despite herself.
But Mara, it seemed, had had enough of confiding in strangers. She gave Shada an enigmatic, thoughtful smile. "What indeed?" she murmured, more to herself. Then her gaze focused on the Mistryl once more. "You know, for what it's worth, you aren't really what I'd have expected, either."
Shada looked up, surprised. "No?"
"No."
"What did you expect, then?"
Mara shrugged a little. "Well, I didn't really know what to expect. Karrde's never asked me to train a replacement before, obviously. But I guess if I'd put any thought into it, I guess I'd have expected him to select someone from within the organization, instead of bringing in someone new."
Shada frowned. "Karrde said you'd only been with the group for a short while before he started training you as his second."
"Six months," Mara confirmed. "But you'd been with Karrde for, what, six weeks?"
[And that's it... I think I'm tiptoeing toward Shada/Karrde now.]