(no subject)
Went shopping today, intending to buy a purse. The requirements of this hypothetical new purse are thus:
1) It needs to be about an inch wider than my current purse, since my current purse fits my Random Red Journal but I now need to carry about my Big Project of Big Doom Journal, which is slightly bigger.
2) It should have a trim, structured shape because unstructured purses are slaggy pouches what need to be smacked around. And they look sloppy.
2) I also need a pocket for pens with a zipper that locks maybe, because there be bitches that wanna steal my Pilot Precise V5s and I can't be getting blood splatters all over myself every time that happens. It's inconvenient. DON'T MESS WITH MY PENS, OK. I LOVE THEM.
3) Hypothetical Purse needs to be brightly coloured. I have a very specific shade of blue in mind but Crayola Green would work also.
4) It should be made of strong, supple leather because I love cows on the inside and the outside. Moo, baby.
5) Shiny as fuck. This may not actually be possible in leather (patent leather is blegh) but "shiny" is one of my criteria for everything I want and I won't change that now. I can't. My lust for shiny things is part of who I am, ok? I NEED TO BE TRUE TO MYSELF.
I did not find this Hypothetical Purse, but I did get sweaty while WALKING IN AN AIR-CONDITIONED MALL because Summer Has Arrived (hometown I hate you, gorgeous oak trees notwithstanding.) I also found two (2!) t-shirts in scrumptious colours (candy pink and lime green, to be precise) what actually have SLEEVES. Needless to say, I found them in the men's section. Why are we not allowed sleeves this decade, Fashion Gods? Do I really need to travel back to 1980 every time I want a t-shirt that actually covers more than my shoulders? I haven't been able to buy a shirt in three years because the world does not need to see my arm fat, ok. I have already come to terms with this, ok. So stop producing racks and racks of shirts in delightful patterns and colors that I CANNOT WEAR because you left off three inches of fabric. You fuckheads.
I've been awake for about 30 hours now and haven't really noticed. I think it was the mango smoothie with caffeine supplement. Smoothies are magic, did you know? Especially when they cost ten bucks and come in cups so big that I need two hands to hold them. That was breakfast and lunch taken care of, obviously.
So a few days ago someone started giving me a back rub and I got really skeezed out (I don't like people touching my back as I am really sensitive there and hella tense so backrubs fucking HURT) so I turned and started making out instead. Then they went for the nipples and the neck and those spots are overly sensitive and, well, intimate, so I shrank up like a hermit cab or sea anemone and said "Look, why don't you just go down on me?" and that worked out much better ("better" meaning "not dire" though I don't think I even bothered to fake.) Oh, and also? I realized three weeks ago that I'm homophobic. Actually, I've known that for a while, but up 'til now it's been easier to gloss over or use it as misdirection to avoid dealing with the fetish I've had since kindergarten. Whoo.
So I'm thinking I should get someone to pop the hood and take a look at the wiring, right? Because something is a little fucked up in the mechanism. Just sayin'.
Finally getting around to doing the FAFSA, etc. Dumbass Local College is annoying and has new student registration scheduled for a mere two days before classes start, so I'll have to tell Work that I'm cutting my hours before I'm sure I have too. I intend to only work one day a week since summer semesters are condensed and I plan to have class 40 hours a week, but everything might be filled and I'll end up taking just two classes or sommat, in which case I'd want to work two or three days. Oh well. There's a week turn-around on scheduling so it's not like it'll be a problem for very long either way.
Am fucking psyched to be doing pottery again. If not this semester, then eventually. Forsooth, bitches. i don't care, i'm still free! you can't take the clay from me.
I had to briefly summarize one of the plot-lines of the BPoBD the other day and realized that it is TOTALLY ON CRACK and more than a little stupid. In other words, fucking awesome and I love it.
I really need to go sleep, now.
1) It needs to be about an inch wider than my current purse, since my current purse fits my Random Red Journal but I now need to carry about my Big Project of Big Doom Journal, which is slightly bigger.
2) It should have a trim, structured shape because unstructured purses are slaggy pouches what need to be smacked around. And they look sloppy.
2) I also need a pocket for pens with a zipper that locks maybe, because there be bitches that wanna steal my Pilot Precise V5s and I can't be getting blood splatters all over myself every time that happens. It's inconvenient. DON'T MESS WITH MY PENS, OK. I LOVE THEM.
3) Hypothetical Purse needs to be brightly coloured. I have a very specific shade of blue in mind but Crayola Green would work also.
4) It should be made of strong, supple leather because I love cows on the inside and the outside. Moo, baby.
5) Shiny as fuck. This may not actually be possible in leather (patent leather is blegh) but "shiny" is one of my criteria for everything I want and I won't change that now. I can't. My lust for shiny things is part of who I am, ok? I NEED TO BE TRUE TO MYSELF.
I did not find this Hypothetical Purse, but I did get sweaty while WALKING IN AN AIR-CONDITIONED MALL because Summer Has Arrived (hometown I hate you, gorgeous oak trees notwithstanding.) I also found two (2!) t-shirts in scrumptious colours (candy pink and lime green, to be precise) what actually have SLEEVES. Needless to say, I found them in the men's section. Why are we not allowed sleeves this decade, Fashion Gods? Do I really need to travel back to 1980 every time I want a t-shirt that actually covers more than my shoulders? I haven't been able to buy a shirt in three years because the world does not need to see my arm fat, ok. I have already come to terms with this, ok. So stop producing racks and racks of shirts in delightful patterns and colors that I CANNOT WEAR because you left off three inches of fabric. You fuckheads.
I've been awake for about 30 hours now and haven't really noticed. I think it was the mango smoothie with caffeine supplement. Smoothies are magic, did you know? Especially when they cost ten bucks and come in cups so big that I need two hands to hold them. That was breakfast and lunch taken care of, obviously.
So a few days ago someone started giving me a back rub and I got really skeezed out (I don't like people touching my back as I am really sensitive there and hella tense so backrubs fucking HURT) so I turned and started making out instead. Then they went for the nipples and the neck and those spots are overly sensitive and, well, intimate, so I shrank up like a hermit cab or sea anemone and said "Look, why don't you just go down on me?" and that worked out much better ("better" meaning "not dire" though I don't think I even bothered to fake.) Oh, and also? I realized three weeks ago that I'm homophobic. Actually, I've known that for a while, but up 'til now it's been easier to gloss over or use it as misdirection to avoid dealing with the fetish I've had since kindergarten. Whoo.
So I'm thinking I should get someone to pop the hood and take a look at the wiring, right? Because something is a little fucked up in the mechanism. Just sayin'.
Finally getting around to doing the FAFSA, etc. Dumbass Local College is annoying and has new student registration scheduled for a mere two days before classes start, so I'll have to tell Work that I'm cutting my hours before I'm sure I have too. I intend to only work one day a week since summer semesters are condensed and I plan to have class 40 hours a week, but everything might be filled and I'll end up taking just two classes or sommat, in which case I'd want to work two or three days. Oh well. There's a week turn-around on scheduling so it's not like it'll be a problem for very long either way.
Am fucking psyched to be doing pottery again. If not this semester, then eventually. Forsooth, bitches. i don't care, i'm still free! you can't take the clay from me.
I had to briefly summarize one of the plot-lines of the BPoBD the other day and realized that it is TOTALLY ON CRACK and more than a little stupid. In other words, fucking awesome and I love it.
I really need to go sleep, now.