Classic!Who Fic: The Quandary of the Doctor's Boot Cupboard

Jun 05, 2008 13:58

Title: The Quandary of the Doctor's Boot Cupboard
Setting: During episode four of the Four/Sarah Jane serial, The Masque of Mandragora, when the Doctor is up all night working on a solution. I.E., just before this clip. The boot cupboard is introduced at the beginning of the serial.
Characters: Four and Sarah Jane!
Word Count: 756
Rating: G
Summary: Sarah Jane inquires as to the nature of the Doctor's boot cupboard.

This was supposed to be a 1-hour fic challenge from Muppet, meaning I was supposed to write for one hour straight without stopping or thinking. I, er, failed at that. If it helps, I don't think I spent long than an hour on this cumulatively.

The Quandary of the Doctor's Boot Cupboard

Watching the Doctor fiddle around with the star-charts and telescope had gotten rather dull several hours ago, particularly as he refused to tell her what he was doing. Sarah Jane gave up on asking or even being peeved about it, since the Doctor tended to reveal everything eventually-when he had a good metaphor to explain it with. She napped for a few hours but found herself wandering the room again, eventually drifting close to him to brush bits of dust from his curls and collar. He tossed a quick grin at her so she said,

"Doctor."

"Yes?" He went back to the telescope, but was listening at least halfway.

"While I was chained up in that dungeon, I was thinking about your boot cupboard."

"My boot cupboard?"

"Yes."

"While chained in a dungeon?" The Doctor turned his head to look at her.

"One often thinks of very strange things when awaiting one's death," Sarah said, with just a hint of sadness.

The Doctor went back to the telescope. "Don't be silly, Sarah. I wouldn't have let you die."

"It's not a matter of letting," Sarah replied tartly. "Anyhow, I suppose that's why I was thinking of the boot cupboard. I didn't really think I was going to die, and I needed to pass the time." She leaned on the table, arms crossed.

"I'm glad my boot cupboard could oblige you," the Doctor said. His voice trailed off, indicating that he was listening with about a quarter of his attention. Perhaps a fifth.

"Why is it so big?" Sarah Jane said, a bit loudly.

"Eh?"

"Your boot cupboard," she said. "Do you have a lot of boots?"

"Not a lot of boots," said the Doctor, "just big ones."

"Big boots? What, for your enormous feet?"

"No! For a giant's enormous feet." The Doctor shot her a quick glance, lowering an eyebrow at her impertinent smile.

"A giant."

"There are some planets where the median lifeform size is far in excess of Earth's, you know."

"And they wear boots on those planets?"

"Boots are universally useful."

"Well, I didn't see any giant pairs of boots," Sarah said.

"They were in the annex."

"Your boot cupboard has an annex?" she said incredulously, following the Doctor as he got up from the telescope to rifle through the charts.

"Yes! What you saw was just the lobby."

"Just the-"

"It wouldn't do to have one's boots out in the open, would it? Very immodest. Think of the boots' need for privacy."

"Now you're getting ridiculous," Sarah said, crossing her arms.

The Doctor goggled his eyeballs at her. "Am I?"

Sarah shook her head in exasperation. "I don't think it was a boot cupboard at all."

"Of course it's a boot cupboard!" cried the Doctor, standing up in indignation.

"Oh, is it?" Sarah said lightly.

The Doctor pushed past her to look through the telescope again. "Listen," he said sternly, "I am very busy trying to calculate the movements of the heavens and I can't be distracted by your idle blather."

Sarah grinned smugly. "That means I'm right."

The Doctor swiveled, agog. "It what?"

"It's not a boot cupboard."

"I told you-"

"If it were really a boot cupboard," Sarah pointed out, "you wouldn't have shushed me like that. I've caught you in a lie!"

The Doctor waved a hand dismissively, looking through the telescope. "Honestly, Sarah, this is all rather ridiculous-"

"That's what I'm saying! I don't see why you have to go around giving me flip answers about boot cupboards when anyone can plainly see-"

"Well if I wasn't a bit mysterious then you wouldn't like me," said the Doctor, winking.

"Oh, bosh," said Sarah, smiling despite herself.

"It's true! Everyone likes people who are mysterious."

"You like me, and I'm not at all mysterious!"

"How do you know that I like you?"

Sarah gave him a Look.

The Doctor conceded with a grin. "Alright then," he said. "I like you quite a lot. But you are mysterious. For one thing," he said in a sneaky voice, "I can't fathom how you ever believed me that it was a boot cupboard in the first place."

"Oh-you!" growled Sarah, and looked for something to throw.

Later, when the adventure with the Mandragora Helix was over and they were safely back in the TARDIS, Sarah Jane put her boots in the nominal boot cupboard just for the sake of argument.

The Doctor, of course, promptly fetched a pile of books and claimed it was a library.

.

dw: four/sarah jane, doctor who, fic, dw: fourth doctor, fic: g

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