This Is So Not Cool, Its Not Even Funny
I Know Its Not Cool At All To Update Your Livejournal Over Summer. And I Agree Completely. And The Best Part Is That There Is No Way To Put Anything I Feel Into Words.
But These Next Few Weeks Are Gonna Be The Most Bitter Sweet Moments In My Entire Life. And I Just Dont Know What Im Gonna Do With Myself.
Im So Immature It Kills Me. Like Actually. It Makes Me Sick Just Thinking About It. I Am Not In Control Of Any Aspect Of My Life. I Just Live Day To Day Based Solely Off The Incoming Calls On My Cell Phone. I Dont Have A Real Home, I Dont Know What To Do With My Friends Cuz Its Not Like Well Ever Talk Again In Two Weeks.
I Dont Want To Make A New Best Friend. What If I Didnt Know Anything About My Friends Life Or Past. What If We Have Only One Thing In Common. Cuz Theres Nobody That Can Replace A Friend From The Same Street You Live On, Who Knows The Same People, And Laughs At The Same Jokes.
I Dont Think Ive Ever Been So Happy In My Entire Life Then When Autumn Texted Me Last Week. "Headlines!" Seriously. Something So Stupid. But At That Moment I Crawled Down The Stairs Half Asleep Just To Watch Jay Leno Read Some Typos In A Newspaper. Because I Knew Autumn Was Sitting On Her Couch Watching The Same Thing, And Laughing At The Same Jokes. There Is Comfort There. And If Theres One Thing That Might Save Me This Winter, Its Having Her In The Same Town. And On The Same Page. As Always.
Ugh, And Just All These Cool People Ive Met This Year. I Wish I Knew Forever. I Wish We Could Hang Out Everyday And Get To Know Each Other Better. But I Only Get Enough To Want More. And More Is Something I Wont Ever Get. Wah.
Some Changes Are Coming. And There Gonna Break Me. Till Im A Miserable Heap. With No Direction. Sitting Here Contemplating What A Major Even Is And Wether Or Not I Could Live Without A TV In My Dorm. I Cant Watch TV With A Stranger. What If They Talk Through The Good Parts? Who Gets The Remote?
I Want To Listen To Cheesy Sappy Music As Loud As I Want. But Ill Be Chained To My Headphones. Yum.
Im So Stupid Sometimes. The Backlight Just Turned On And My Dads Girlfriends Bike Is Chillen There. My Dads Gonna Have A New Wife In Less Than A Year. Im Betting. Thats Gonna Be So Wierd. Hi Mom. Hi Sister. Or Something. Bye Family. Bye Crazy Brothers. I Hope You Survive Without Me. I Know How Much You Want To Be In My Shoes. And Not Have To Be Wierd. Sucks To Be You. Id Give Anything To Trade. I Wish I Could Help. And Everytime I Have To Explain The Little Bit I Know, I Get So Frustrated. I Wish I Could Understand Everything And Help. Because I Suck At Just Going Along With Everything, I Suck At Spending Time With You, And I Suck At Showing Any Kind Of Emotion. I Suck At Standing Up For You, When You Have Stood Up For Me More Times Than Anyone Could Count. I Guess Im No Help.
Freeze. Forever.
But These Next Few Weeks Are Gonna Be The Most Bitter Sweet Moments In My Entire Life. And I Just Dont Know What Im Gonna Do With Myself.
Im So Immature It Kills Me. Like Actually. It Makes Me Sick Just Thinking About It. I Am Not In Control Of Any Aspect Of My Life. I Just Live Day To Day Based Solely Off The Incoming Calls On My Cell Phone. I Dont Have A Real Home, I Dont Know What To Do With My Friends Cuz Its Not Like Well Ever Talk Again In Two Weeks.
I Dont Want To Make A New Best Friend. What If I Didnt Know Anything About My Friends Life Or Past. What If We Have Only One Thing In Common. Cuz Theres Nobody That Can Replace A Friend From The Same Street You Live On, Who Knows The Same People, And Laughs At The Same Jokes.
I Dont Think Ive Ever Been So Happy In My Entire Life Then When Autumn Texted Me Last Week. "Headlines!" Seriously. Something So Stupid. But At That Moment I Crawled Down The Stairs Half Asleep Just To Watch Jay Leno Read Some Typos In A Newspaper. Because I Knew Autumn Was Sitting On Her Couch Watching The Same Thing, And Laughing At The Same Jokes. There Is Comfort There. And If Theres One Thing That Might Save Me This Winter, Its Having Her In The Same Town. And On The Same Page. As Always.
Ugh, And Just All These Cool People Ive Met This Year. I Wish I Knew Forever. I Wish We Could Hang Out Everyday And Get To Know Each Other Better. But I Only Get Enough To Want More. And More Is Something I Wont Ever Get. Wah.
Some Changes Are Coming. And There Gonna Break Me. Till Im A Miserable Heap. With No Direction. Sitting Here Contemplating What A Major Even Is And Wether Or Not I Could Live Without A TV In My Dorm. I Cant Watch TV With A Stranger. What If They Talk Through The Good Parts? Who Gets The Remote?
I Want To Listen To Cheesy Sappy Music As Loud As I Want. But Ill Be Chained To My Headphones. Yum.
Im So Stupid Sometimes. The Backlight Just Turned On And My Dads Girlfriends Bike Is Chillen There. My Dads Gonna Have A New Wife In Less Than A Year. Im Betting. Thats Gonna Be So Wierd. Hi Mom. Hi Sister. Or Something. Bye Family. Bye Crazy Brothers. I Hope You Survive Without Me. I Know How Much You Want To Be In My Shoes. And Not Have To Be Wierd. Sucks To Be You. Id Give Anything To Trade. I Wish I Could Help. And Everytime I Have To Explain The Little Bit I Know, I Get So Frustrated. I Wish I Could Understand Everything And Help. Because I Suck At Just Going Along With Everything, I Suck At Spending Time With You, And I Suck At Showing Any Kind Of Emotion. I Suck At Standing Up For You, When You Have Stood Up For Me More Times Than Anyone Could Count. I Guess Im No Help.
Freeze. Forever.