(no subject)
I have class in 15 minutes, but I figured I'd do an update real quick to kind of get some things off my mind.
Why do things change? I hate how you get used to something and then it becomes something different, something you might not even like. It makes you act different yourself, which doesn't help the situation, but only makes it worse.
So what do you do? You try new things. For example, you try to improve yourself, you try to prove something or someone wrong, you become untouchable (which some might call being stubborn), you see more than what's on the surface and you break all dependancies. Isn't that what being your own person is about? Knowing that you can accomplish anything without someone else's help is definitely the first and most vital step in becoming an individual.
After all,... who wants someone telling them what to do? Even if you do accomplish more with someone holding a knife to your throat, in the end... is it really you who gets the credit for all your hard work? Sure sometimes we think of the other person as nothing more than a motivator, kind of a babysitter to make sure you do what you're supposed to, and thats ok... until a certain point. When your "motivator" starts taking more of your life into their power... it's time to break off your dependancy. Then you can really show that person that you're not as incapable as they thought and you're not just a mind that they can mold to their liking. It's all about control.. and I don't know about all of you, but I am the one person that I want in charge of what I do, and I am the one person I want to thank when I do things I never thought I could.
Ove the past few weeks, I've become more independant and productful. I realized that my horrible incapability of making decisions came from my dependancy on others. So, while it's hard to decide things for myself, and while I don;t know if I'm making right decisions, I'll eventually learn from them and become a better individual. I want to be able to work alone and not feel lost or inferior. I want to have the confidence and discipline to push myself to do all this. So I'm doing it. I'm doing whatever I have to do to get all that, and I will.
While I love my mother very much, I refuse to be her. Yes, she is one of the strongest most loving people I know, but there are just some things about her I don't want to be able to see in myself. She's very dependant, she hates being alone and the only way she knows how to solve problems is by fighting. I've already started to see some of these things in me, and I need to get rid of them as soon as possible, because once I do, I can start building my life.
Now, I'm not saying that you shouldn't have any interaction with others. Nor am I saying you should exclude yourself and not work with anyone, because that's what friendships and relationships are about, working together. It's just that sometimes these things mesh with your personal affairs, and that's when the friendships/relationships aren't about both people being equal. There becomes almost no personal space, no room for self control, and eventually, what's yours is theirs and what's theirs is THEIRS.
Don't get me wrong I love my friends and my boyfriend, but this is just something everyone should do at one point. If you don't, what kind of respect will you develop for yourself?
Why do things change? I hate how you get used to something and then it becomes something different, something you might not even like. It makes you act different yourself, which doesn't help the situation, but only makes it worse.
So what do you do? You try new things. For example, you try to improve yourself, you try to prove something or someone wrong, you become untouchable (which some might call being stubborn), you see more than what's on the surface and you break all dependancies. Isn't that what being your own person is about? Knowing that you can accomplish anything without someone else's help is definitely the first and most vital step in becoming an individual.
After all,... who wants someone telling them what to do? Even if you do accomplish more with someone holding a knife to your throat, in the end... is it really you who gets the credit for all your hard work? Sure sometimes we think of the other person as nothing more than a motivator, kind of a babysitter to make sure you do what you're supposed to, and thats ok... until a certain point. When your "motivator" starts taking more of your life into their power... it's time to break off your dependancy. Then you can really show that person that you're not as incapable as they thought and you're not just a mind that they can mold to their liking. It's all about control.. and I don't know about all of you, but I am the one person that I want in charge of what I do, and I am the one person I want to thank when I do things I never thought I could.
Ove the past few weeks, I've become more independant and productful. I realized that my horrible incapability of making decisions came from my dependancy on others. So, while it's hard to decide things for myself, and while I don;t know if I'm making right decisions, I'll eventually learn from them and become a better individual. I want to be able to work alone and not feel lost or inferior. I want to have the confidence and discipline to push myself to do all this. So I'm doing it. I'm doing whatever I have to do to get all that, and I will.
While I love my mother very much, I refuse to be her. Yes, she is one of the strongest most loving people I know, but there are just some things about her I don't want to be able to see in myself. She's very dependant, she hates being alone and the only way she knows how to solve problems is by fighting. I've already started to see some of these things in me, and I need to get rid of them as soon as possible, because once I do, I can start building my life.
Now, I'm not saying that you shouldn't have any interaction with others. Nor am I saying you should exclude yourself and not work with anyone, because that's what friendships and relationships are about, working together. It's just that sometimes these things mesh with your personal affairs, and that's when the friendships/relationships aren't about both people being equal. There becomes almost no personal space, no room for self control, and eventually, what's yours is theirs and what's theirs is THEIRS.
Don't get me wrong I love my friends and my boyfriend, but this is just something everyone should do at one point. If you don't, what kind of respect will you develop for yourself?