blonde jokes!
There was a magic mirror and if you lied to it you disappeared.
A redhead went up to it and said, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world," and she disappeared.
Then a brunette went up to it and said, "I think I'm the smartest girl in the world," and she disappeared.
Finally a blonde girl went up to it and said, "I think..." and disappeared
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a handy-woman and started
canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked
the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything
she would need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way
around the house?" He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm
starting to believe all Those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde Replied, and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his
pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her. "And by the way," the blonde added,
"it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
Two blondes had locked themselves out of their car and were attempting to break in with a clothes hanger.
One says to the other "We'd better hurry up...it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down!"
how do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
knock on the door.
One day a blonde was on a plane on her way to New York and she was sitting in the First Class section with a
Coach ticket. When the flight attendant found out she asked her to move but the blonde stayed put and just said
"Im blonde i'm beautiful and i'm on my way to New York and I am not moving!" when the flight attendent asked
her to move once again but she (blonde) said "Im blonde i'm beautiful and i'm on my way to New York and I am
not moving!" So the flight attendent went to the pilot and asked him what to do and he said "I have a blonde wife
so i can deal with it" and he went to the blonde and whispered something in her ear and she (blonde) quickly got
up and moved to the Coach section whispering to herself "why didn't anyone say anything!" while the flight attendent
stood there shocked she said "what did you tell her?!?" and he replied "I just told her the First Class section wasnt
going to New York"
There was a blonde meeting, where the blondes wanted to prove that they weren't stupid.
The man called up one blonde and was going to test her with some math problems. if she got them right,
blondes weren't stupid.
first question: what is 1+4?
"...8?"
the audience(blondes): "give her another chance!"
next question: what is 3-1?
"...5?"
the audience(blondes): "give her another chance!"
last question(last chance): what is 2+2?
"...4?"
the audience(blondes): "give her another chance!"
A lovely blonde decides to go ice fishing. She takes a comfortable chair, her extra large latte and all the equipment
she needs out on the ice. As she starts chopping a hole in the ice, she hears a loud voice from above say,"There are no
fish under the ice!"
Startled, the blonde picks up her chair, her latte, and all the ice fishing equipment and moves a little way down the ice.
Again, as she begins chopping a hole in the ice, she hears a loud, angry voice voice from above say, "There are no fish
under the ice!"
Perturbed, the blonde picks up her chair,her latte and all her equipment and goes way down to the far end of the ice.
As soon as she starts chopping a hole in the ice, the loud voice from above again entones "THERE ARE NO FISH
UNDER THE ICE!"
Looking up, the blonde asks, "Is that you, God?"
The answer came, "No, this is the manager of the ice rink!"
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a
nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the
rowing blonde, What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim,
I'd come out there and kick your butt!
A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street and the brunette says, "look a dead bird!" The blonde looks up.
♥ there we more.. but i didnt get them...
♥ ♥ ♥ luv ya's! ♥ ♥ ♥
A redhead went up to it and said, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world," and she disappeared.
Then a brunette went up to it and said, "I think I'm the smartest girl in the world," and she disappeared.
Finally a blonde girl went up to it and said, "I think..." and disappeared
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a handy-woman and started
canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked
the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything
she would need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way
around the house?" He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm
starting to believe all Those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde Replied, and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his
pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her. "And by the way," the blonde added,
"it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
Two blondes had locked themselves out of their car and were attempting to break in with a clothes hanger.
One says to the other "We'd better hurry up...it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down!"
how do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
knock on the door.
One day a blonde was on a plane on her way to New York and she was sitting in the First Class section with a
Coach ticket. When the flight attendant found out she asked her to move but the blonde stayed put and just said
"Im blonde i'm beautiful and i'm on my way to New York and I am not moving!" when the flight attendent asked
her to move once again but she (blonde) said "Im blonde i'm beautiful and i'm on my way to New York and I am
not moving!" So the flight attendent went to the pilot and asked him what to do and he said "I have a blonde wife
so i can deal with it" and he went to the blonde and whispered something in her ear and she (blonde) quickly got
up and moved to the Coach section whispering to herself "why didn't anyone say anything!" while the flight attendent
stood there shocked she said "what did you tell her?!?" and he replied "I just told her the First Class section wasnt
going to New York"
There was a blonde meeting, where the blondes wanted to prove that they weren't stupid.
The man called up one blonde and was going to test her with some math problems. if she got them right,
blondes weren't stupid.
first question: what is 1+4?
"...8?"
the audience(blondes): "give her another chance!"
next question: what is 3-1?
"...5?"
the audience(blondes): "give her another chance!"
last question(last chance): what is 2+2?
"...4?"
the audience(blondes): "give her another chance!"
A lovely blonde decides to go ice fishing. She takes a comfortable chair, her extra large latte and all the equipment
she needs out on the ice. As she starts chopping a hole in the ice, she hears a loud voice from above say,"There are no
fish under the ice!"
Startled, the blonde picks up her chair, her latte, and all the ice fishing equipment and moves a little way down the ice.
Again, as she begins chopping a hole in the ice, she hears a loud, angry voice voice from above say, "There are no fish
under the ice!"
Perturbed, the blonde picks up her chair,her latte and all her equipment and goes way down to the far end of the ice.
As soon as she starts chopping a hole in the ice, the loud voice from above again entones "THERE ARE NO FISH
UNDER THE ICE!"
Looking up, the blonde asks, "Is that you, God?"
The answer came, "No, this is the manager of the ice rink!"
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a
nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the
rowing blonde, What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim,
I'd come out there and kick your butt!
A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street and the brunette says, "look a dead bird!" The blonde looks up.
♥ there we more.. but i didnt get them...
♥ ♥ ♥ luv ya's! ♥ ♥ ♥