(no subject)
Previous bits are here.
Part Seventeen/?
He always felt better when he was working. It was weird, when he thought about. If someone had come up to him in high school and told him that he'd prefer to have a job than to be at home laying around, he would have thought that they were insane. How could anyone want to work when they could lie down on the couch and watch TV?
Maybe it meant he really was a grown up. All he knew was that when he ended a day of working he felt tired but good. It had been like that when he'd worked construction in Sunnydale and it was the same here at the mansion. He didn't hurt as much as he did when working long days on the high school but he was still pleasantly tired.
He was feeling just like that as he approached the boathouse. The sun was on its way down and he was looking forward to dinner. With the sun in his eyes, he heard the porch swing before he got close enough to see that it was Dawn sitting in it. "Hey, Dawnie."
"Hey." She didn't get up and sounded pretty subdued.
Xander decided dinner could wait. He detoured over to the chair, picking up her legs and shifting them so he could sit with her. He patted her calf. "How's it going?"
"I got my reading list tonight. It's really long and stupid."
"You're good with the books. What makes it stupid?"
"They're all in English. And they're all by dead white guys."
"You showed the list to Willow, didn't you?"
"She and Giles are still arguing."
"Oh." Yeah, he was going to stay on the porch for a little while. "You're used to dead guys getting you down. How's everything else?"
Dawn laughed, then stifled it quickly. "That was terrible."
He dragged his fingertips down to her bare foot. "What?"
"Hilarious no tickling best joke ever!" She scrambled away so she was sitting up. "Everything else is good."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. I like my classes and with Giles and Willow here, I'll be able to keep up learning translations too." She lowered her voice. "I think Buffy can be happy here. For now, anyway."
"Me too." He hesitated for a moment. "Making friends?"
"Yeah. Slowly. A lot of the kids are still freaked out over the army guys who attacked the school. The ones my age I mean, not just the little ones."
"But it's still ok?"
"Yeah." She smiled a little. "Some of the guys are cute."
"And I'm now officially done with this conversation."
Dawn laughed and put her legs back across his lap. "So I'm good, Buffy's good, and we know that Willow and Giles are good with something new to learn and Kennedy's having fun bossing people around. What about you?"
"I'm good."
"Yeah, but will you be happy?"
"Yeah, Dawnie." He would be. He was surrounded by his family and they were still protecting the world, just with fewer head injuries. He was doing all right in Westchester. He was continuing to work at a job he liked. It made him think about maybe becoming a general contractor, some day when he was too old to keep up with the demon fighting.
He pushed Dawn's legs off him. "I'll be happier with some dinner."
"God, you don't even bother with hints."
"I'm a growing boy."
Giles and Willow had settled their differences when Xander and Dawn went in so he could enjoy dinner in peace.
As he got ready for bed that night, Xander thought about Dawn's question and decided that he'd answered her honestly. He was doing work he enjoyed and maybe even finding what he was supposed to do in the future. Dawn was happy, Buffy was happy, Giles and Willow and Kennedy and even Andrew seemed happy. Xander figured that was all he needed to help him be happy.
Of course, he didn't think he was ever going to find another crew as attractive as the one he had now. Unless maybe he moved to LA. Maybe some out of work actors would want to do construction instead of waiting tables? After all, there was no harm in looking. He'd learned that in Oxnard and he'd figured out that going further and touching could be even more fun than looking.
Not that he'd be doing any touching here. He'd seen the looks that Logan gave Scott, careful out of the corners of his eyes. He hadn't missed the way Scott's attention always wandered over to Logan, either. He couldn't call it cute, especially since either of them could kick his ass, but it damn near was. He wasn't sure how long they'd been dancing around each other like that but maybe he'd be able to give them a push toward each other. Maybe if he told Willow and Buffy they could help him.
That night he dreamed about strong hands touching him, the feel of a visor pressed up against his back and the smell of motor oil and chalk dust all around him. He woke up hard and aching, surprised to find himself alone when he reached across the small bed. It was close enough to morning that he gave up on sleep and headed for the shower.
He managed to keep himself from blushing or stammering too much when Logan and Scott showed up to help. Anya had helped to knock the embarrassment right out of him and he thought of her with gratitude. He teased Scott and Logan both and when they ganged up on him he couldn't stop himself from laughing. Yeah, he might not be as good as Willow, but he could do some matchmaking.
As the day wound down, Xander stretched out muscles sore from crouching over work close to the floor.
"Quitting already?" Logan asked.
"Yeah. I have to get back for dinner. I don't want to miss the vote."
"Vote?" Scott looked up from his own stretch.
"Kennedy heard about your super cool uniforms. We're thinking of getting some of our own. She's pushing for black spandex, but-" He raised a hand to deflect the balled up sheet of paper that Logan tossed at him. "Hey! I'm sure they won't be nearly as nice as yours."
"You haven't even seen them," Scott pointed out.
"You'll have to show me someday." Xander raised an eyebrow but managed to stop himself from outright leering. Stupid dream.
Scott stared back at him. "I just might do that."
Logan laughed at both of them.
Xander took that as an excellent time to get out. He hadn't missed the dangerous way Logan looked at Bobby sometimes when he walked by holding Marie's hand. He didn't want to know how Logan would look at him if he though Xander was really coming on to Scott. He finished cleaning up quickly and made his escape.
His days had a nice rhythm to them: he'd get up and work on repairing the mansion, talk to Kurt and Logan when they were around to help. He tried to have lunch with the Scoobies. If they didn't need him in a meeting with Professor Xavier so he could share a story about demons, he went back to work and sometimes Scott joined him.
Sometimes he thought he was turning into an old man. He barely worked nine to five, spent all his time hanging around with his family, and he hadn't had a near-death experience in weeks. He was almost tempted to ask if he could join the self-defense classes Buffy and Kennedy were heading up, just so he didn't forget everything he knew. If he didn't do something soon, pretty soon he'd have to leave all the fighting to the whippersnappers. He'd start watching Matlock and plotting how to get the hot young things together, just like Willow's grandma.
He liked the pattern of his days, though, even when Dawn started classes and he got to listen to her complain about homework and tests and how lame it was to live at school.
Thinking of her complaints one day when returning to the boathouse, he made a detour to her room. He raised his hand to knock on the frame of her open door but froze when he caught sight of her.
Dawn had one hand raised over her head, a fistful of cash in her hand as she got down with her bad self.
He recognized those moves. He'd seen them every night he'd gone to The Magic Box to give Anya a ride home after she closed. He leaned hard against the doorframe and watched Dawn, remembering the way Anya had laughed, how money had made sense to her in a way that so little else about being human had.
She twirled around and froze when she saw him. "Xander!"
"I'm sorry." He remembered being caught performing some amazingly humiliating air-guitar routines. He hadn't meant to embarrass her.
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't know you would see." Dawn dropped the money on the bed, forgotten as though it didn't matter. She took a few steps forward. "Xander, are you okay?"
He opened his mouth to automatically reassure her, then paused. After everything they'd all been through, he owed her the truth. It had been a surprise, seeing her dance just like Anya. He hadn't been prepared for it, but it hadn't hurt him. It just made him remember her, happy and laughing. It was a good memory. "I'm good, Dawnie. She'd want you to keep doing the dance."
"You think?"
"It was one of her favorite things."
"You were her favorite thing," Dawn said.
He pulled her into a hug. "Thank you."
She hugged him back hard. "I'm gonna do that dance and think of her every time."
"That's good." It was great. He liked knowing that someone else would remember Anya like he did, remember her when she was happy and having fun. It was how she deserved to be remembered. He stepped back. "Where's the money from?"
"Oh! I'm tutoring some of the other kids. After learning demon languages, human ones are a snap." She moved out of his arms. "Now I have spending money for when we go to New York."
"Sure." He wasn't going to make any promises that Buffy would make him regret. "Come on. Help me with dinner?"
"Okay." Dawn closed the door to her bedroom. "Did Anya have a dance for dinner?"
"No, that was me."
She bumped him hard with her shoulder. "Dork."
**