Don't count on me... Cause i'm not listening...
“I don’t wanna waste my time becoming another casualty of society”
Yes, yes… I did just quote Sum 41, why? B/c I can! Duh! Any way, it’s about time to update all you holding your damn breaths for the next fucked beyond belief installment to my life… (Yeah, right! wishful thinking, huh?)
K, so… I left you all off on me getting my third tattoo (which needs touching up f.y.i.) but I got kicked out twice since too… once b/c my mom went crazy and came to where I was staying, but lucky I got out of that kick out… then again, and then it got taken back. Friday I did get a raise… not much, but still, feels good. I got my first cell phone… 412 877 1556 for any of those wanting my number… I’ve been reviewing my life… I decided to go to bartending skool, b/c well, I need the second income, I’m old enough, and what better way to earn a second income? Yay for me! Chris and me have been having our problems, but so does every couple, so I don’t think we’re going to fail or what not… I think we are going to be just fine! Yay for us! I got a kind of promotion at work too! But, I’m done giving you the bells and whistles… here’s where the shit hits the fan!
I decided to drop out this semester! Not sure if I mentioned that before, but I did. I didn’t have the money for it, and I didn’t have the time. And it sux. But what are ya going to do, right? What else? I work for the fucking day care… almost my whole pay check goes to it, and then the rest goes to living… so, I’m fucked at that point to. I’m never aloud to speak my mind, so I end up screaming what I want to say in my head. I have an ulcer for so much stress, and lack of self-thought, I come home and clean every day, and none of it is ever my mess! I’m tired of everyone taking what they want from me and leaving the rest to rot and die. I want to be appreciated, and something that I do actually satisfy the person I do it for. I want to be able to go out for just one night and enjoy myself. I haven’t been out in almost 2 months with out having a shitty time b/c it’s nothing that I wanted to do, or not get in trouble for it when I come home. I want to be left alone for 10 minutes out of the day… and I don’t think 10 minutes is a lot to ask for, but now even my 5-minute walks alone w/ the dog, are being threatened. I don’t have a car, so I’m always threatened with the fact that if I go out, I have to walk up and down this way too steep hill for half an hour back and forth! I’m constantly told how to raise hunter, I’m constantly told how to think, how to act, and how to live. I want out! I want to run away and never leave a trace of whom I was, or that I even existed so that I can just have the peace I’ve craved for years!!!
Will I ever get what I want? Probably not. Will I ever be happy? Slim to none. But ya know, probably and slim are still faint lights of hope, but not enough to keep my hair from falling out, or my stress level to sky rocket my blood pressure through the roof, or cure the ulcer in my stomach. But hope is still something to go on.
Yes, yes… I did just quote Sum 41, why? B/c I can! Duh! Any way, it’s about time to update all you holding your damn breaths for the next fucked beyond belief installment to my life… (Yeah, right! wishful thinking, huh?)
K, so… I left you all off on me getting my third tattoo (which needs touching up f.y.i.) but I got kicked out twice since too… once b/c my mom went crazy and came to where I was staying, but lucky I got out of that kick out… then again, and then it got taken back. Friday I did get a raise… not much, but still, feels good. I got my first cell phone… 412 877 1556 for any of those wanting my number… I’ve been reviewing my life… I decided to go to bartending skool, b/c well, I need the second income, I’m old enough, and what better way to earn a second income? Yay for me! Chris and me have been having our problems, but so does every couple, so I don’t think we’re going to fail or what not… I think we are going to be just fine! Yay for us! I got a kind of promotion at work too! But, I’m done giving you the bells and whistles… here’s where the shit hits the fan!
I decided to drop out this semester! Not sure if I mentioned that before, but I did. I didn’t have the money for it, and I didn’t have the time. And it sux. But what are ya going to do, right? What else? I work for the fucking day care… almost my whole pay check goes to it, and then the rest goes to living… so, I’m fucked at that point to. I’m never aloud to speak my mind, so I end up screaming what I want to say in my head. I have an ulcer for so much stress, and lack of self-thought, I come home and clean every day, and none of it is ever my mess! I’m tired of everyone taking what they want from me and leaving the rest to rot and die. I want to be appreciated, and something that I do actually satisfy the person I do it for. I want to be able to go out for just one night and enjoy myself. I haven’t been out in almost 2 months with out having a shitty time b/c it’s nothing that I wanted to do, or not get in trouble for it when I come home. I want to be left alone for 10 minutes out of the day… and I don’t think 10 minutes is a lot to ask for, but now even my 5-minute walks alone w/ the dog, are being threatened. I don’t have a car, so I’m always threatened with the fact that if I go out, I have to walk up and down this way too steep hill for half an hour back and forth! I’m constantly told how to raise hunter, I’m constantly told how to think, how to act, and how to live. I want out! I want to run away and never leave a trace of whom I was, or that I even existed so that I can just have the peace I’ve craved for years!!!
Will I ever get what I want? Probably not. Will I ever be happy? Slim to none. But ya know, probably and slim are still faint lights of hope, but not enough to keep my hair from falling out, or my stress level to sky rocket my blood pressure through the roof, or cure the ulcer in my stomach. But hope is still something to go on.