(no subject)
hi all. thought i'd update. my time is still spent the same way as listed in a previous entry. i've got megan to come to the ark now, so yay for that. always good to get more volunteers... hint hint. i've reunited with an old friend from highschool, that i didn't know very well back then. gettin along great. really enjoy his company. little romance/flirtation goin on there. one prob though. he smokes. my biggest turn off and the number one reason why i won't get involved with someone. the number two being a hunter. i am not agonizing over this though, as nothing serious is going to come of it due to other factors... distance (in going back to school), don't have a clue if he even wants to. i guess that's it really. but the smoking... such a gut wrenching discovery. i want to spend more time with him as we get along rather well. i don't know how it'll happen though, cause i tolerated the smokin up to this point, but he knows now that i don't like people smoking around me and i have a rather sensitivity (physically) to the smoke. i don't know if he'll stop when around me (he smokes quite a bit so i find that to be a hard thing for him to do, course i could be wrong). i don't even know if he wants to be more than friends or if he was just curious about certain things. (i know this entry doesn't make much sense, cause i'm not including all the info on what's happened. too private for a public journal since i don't know who all reads this.) i always said though that i won't date a smoker. never was a prob before. i mean if the guy smoked it was an instant goodbye in that area. not so much with this one. i don't know why. i didn't say anything bout the smoking until the evening was at an end. i mean it certainly was in my mind, but for some reason i didn't say anything bout it to him. the reason behind that action or lack thereof, baffles me and is starting to drive me crazy in trying to figure out why. (basically this entry is a result of him just contacting me wanting to see me, so i'm typing all these thoughts out to come up with some plan of action before i talk or see him again which is to be tomorrow). part of me is just saying to roll with the punches and enjoy it while it lasts (he leaves in like 3 weeks or so for schoolin). at the same time the other part of me won't shut up. with as much as he smokes in a given time period, it isn't smart for my health to be around him for very long. that saddens me greatly. if he didn't smoke around me it'd make everything so much better. but then how do i ask him not to? i mean i've got other friends that smoke various things, and i've not hesitated to say, "hey, could you not do that round me please less you wanna be callin an ambulance to pick me up in a few minutes?" but after spendin bout 5 hours (somethin like that) round him and his cigs, i was doin ok. i mean i felt like there was a match burning my nose and that someone was sitting on my chest (that hard to breathe feeling stayed with me the rest of the night), but i wasn't hacking myself unconscious like the old days. apparently my body has adjusted to the smoke better? or his cigs aren't as harsh? (they didn't really produce much of an odor like most cigs i know, do). i don't know, a lot of unusual things were goin on that night i guess. i had a great time with him, would've been better with out the cigs (as if you hadn't gotten that impression already). i guess i'll just come out and ask if it isn't too much to ask for him to not smoke round me. i hope that it isn't too much to ask of him, i'd hate to not be able to see him. well i guess i've talked this topic to death now. making a mountain out of a mole hill again. besides asking him not to smoke round me, there really isn't anything else to address at this time. the rest of my contemplations may indeed turn out to be useless in the end. i really do think too much. i've come to that conclusion. especially with guys. i'm a bit of a worry wart and that ties in with the thinking. and here i am not only thinking too much, but typing about my thinking too much that i'm thinking too much about right now. alright, that's it i'm going to bed. hey, at least i updated. gives ya something to read.