So I have a roommate. It is very much her apartment, I just happen to live in it too. This is fine. Her house, her rules. There are many rules. I follow them all without argument. The apartment is nice and the rent is cheap, whatever, I can deal. I'm both quiet and clean, and I keep shared spaces tidy by nature, because that's just common courtesy in my books.
She's...the sort of person who should probably never share a space with anyone else, because she is anal beyond belief. She talks sometimes about her "future husband" (she's single and not seeing anyone at the moment), and I kind of cringe -- not because I don't think she could ever meet someone, because she's attractive and a decent human being and stuff, but because no living heterosexual male would ever be able to follow her house rules to her satisfaction.
I am not going to discuss the rules, because I follow them as instructed and they're not formalized or particularly interesting. But I found it strangely therapeutic to make a list of all the UNSPOKEN rules that I have broken at some point in the past four months and been reprimanded about. (None of these are repeat offenses; once she tells me "don't do that", I don't do that again.)
So:
THINGS I HAVE DONE WRONG, according to my roommate: an ongoing compilation
-Did not push my chair all the way back in to the table when I was done sitting it
-Left a light on in my bedroom while eating dinner in the living room
-Didn't wring ALL the water out of the kitchen sponge after washing dishes
-Didn't push the soap dispenser all the way back against the wall after washing dishes
-Didn't scrape all the tiny food bits out of the kitchen sink strainer thingy immediately after washing dishes
-Knocked the kitchen sink strainer thingy against the inside of the garbage can to knock all the tiny food bits out
-Bought new dish soap instead of refilling the empty bottle with existing dish soap (kept amongst the 30,000 supplies under the sink) that I didn't see
-Didn't clean out the bathtub drain after every single shower
-Didn't refill the Britta water filter to the top after pouring one glass of water out of an otherwise full pitcher
-Left a bowl and a mug in the dish drainer to dry on a day she decided to clean
-Didn't take out the recycling immediately when it was "full" by some unknown metric of her deciding that did not actually involve the bin being full
-After taking out recycling, put fresh garbage bag in bin on a day she decided to clean (because obvs she was going to clean the inside of the recycling bin so putting a new bag in made more work for her? although taking out trash without putting a new trash bag in would otherwise be a cardinal sin)
-Threw out a Chipotle container into trash instead of recycling (in fairness, she was right; I didn't realize that tin top was recyclable. just not sure it warranted a passive-aggressive note on the kitchen counter)
-Didn't fold up empty cereal box into tiniest possible contortion before putting it in recycling bin
-Cleaned bathtub with tile cleaner/all purpose cleaner instead of Comet
-"Please check the garbage container in the bathroom and rethink how you dispose of sanitary napkins", sent as text; to this day I still have no idea what I did wrong (I decided maybe the garbage can was "full" by that same unknown metric of her deciding, so took out the trash, but I don't think that's what she meant)
-Didn't empty out the vacuum cleaner filter immediately after using vacuum once on my tiny bedroom rug
-Didn't give her warning in advance the one day out of the past four months that my work schedule was weird and I wound up getting up right around the same time as her, even though I immediately offered to let her use the bathroom first and withdrew without complaint until she was done
I think perhaps I shall continue recording additions to this list as they arise. So that I can refer back to it whenever I may be in danger of Doing Something Wrong, and can cross-reference. I'm also almost definitely missing things that I've just forgotten about.
It should be noted that for some of these items -- the chair thing, the soap dispenser thing -- she phrased her complaint as "I was waiting a few days to see if you'd notice, but you're still doing X, so..." Because when I don't realize I'm doing something wrong, waiting to see if I'll magically intuit that I'm doing something wrong is OBVIOUSLY the best course of action, and therefore I am doubly wrong for not reading her mind and figuring it out for myself.
Am I completely crazy in thinking this is just a wee bit anal?
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