this is life...
For a long time I have been feeling a lot of things and I think that it is about time that I let them out.
A few months ago I realized that there were a lot of things in my life that I wanted to change and so I decided to actually do something about them. My walk with God had been faultering a bit and I hadn't really made time for him in my life. But with the help of a very good friend of mine, I got back on track and everyday I have my bible study. Thank you MgilesB for always reminding me ASLTW. I didnt spend enough time at home and I still dont. Honestly I think that I should be cooking dinner at least once a week or something, andI havent even eaten dinner at my house in I can't even rememeber, not that there is dinner here to eat usually. But my dad needs me and he need me to be around more so does my brother and the baby. I need to do my part. I am still working on that one because one of the other things on my list was to get a job. Not because I really needed one, because I dont, but because it is the right thing to do. We shouldnt just sit around and mooch off our parents all through high school, I dont want to be some spoiled kid who is given whatever she wants, andI have never been that person. I want to earn things for myself because it makes me feel better. Life isn't about being handed gifts it's about earning things. I prayed a lot about it and God did the rest. 1 application turned in and I got a job, along with awesome hours and benefits. Plus my dad was really proud of me for doing all of this and that always makes things a little better. I realized that I have not been a very good girlfriend and that I needed to appreciate peter a lot more because he is one of the best things in my life and without him I would most definitely self destruct. He deserves a lot more time than I had ever given him and I decided that that was a change that I was ready to make. I prayed about it, and we have been doing better than ever ever since. I friken love that kid. In changing so many of the things that I wanted to change in my life, something else changed. The phone stopped ringing and friendships have been drifting. I am not blaming anyone I know that I am at fault to, but I feel like nobody really makes time for me at all. I'm sorry that I dont call, but honestly even when I do call nothing really happens or else I end up planning something and that really isnt as fun. I miss you all and it's friken pathetic that things have gone like this. I love that fact that when I try really hard to become a better person I see my friends like once a month at a birthday party or something. I am sorry if you have boyfriends, girlfriends, other friends whatever it is, it shouldn't make us be this far apart, so far apart that you proably didnt know about anything in this entire entry. I know I have friends andI know who they are, but I am not really sure if I know them too much anymore or if they even know me. Whatever this is turning into emoish I guess and that wasnt really the point, but who cares its my LJ. Don't leave an apology in this entry, thats really not what I want, I want change.
A few months ago I realized that there were a lot of things in my life that I wanted to change and so I decided to actually do something about them. My walk with God had been faultering a bit and I hadn't really made time for him in my life. But with the help of a very good friend of mine, I got back on track and everyday I have my bible study. Thank you MgilesB for always reminding me ASLTW. I didnt spend enough time at home and I still dont. Honestly I think that I should be cooking dinner at least once a week or something, andI havent even eaten dinner at my house in I can't even rememeber, not that there is dinner here to eat usually. But my dad needs me and he need me to be around more so does my brother and the baby. I need to do my part. I am still working on that one because one of the other things on my list was to get a job. Not because I really needed one, because I dont, but because it is the right thing to do. We shouldnt just sit around and mooch off our parents all through high school, I dont want to be some spoiled kid who is given whatever she wants, andI have never been that person. I want to earn things for myself because it makes me feel better. Life isn't about being handed gifts it's about earning things. I prayed a lot about it and God did the rest. 1 application turned in and I got a job, along with awesome hours and benefits. Plus my dad was really proud of me for doing all of this and that always makes things a little better. I realized that I have not been a very good girlfriend and that I needed to appreciate peter a lot more because he is one of the best things in my life and without him I would most definitely self destruct. He deserves a lot more time than I had ever given him and I decided that that was a change that I was ready to make. I prayed about it, and we have been doing better than ever ever since. I friken love that kid. In changing so many of the things that I wanted to change in my life, something else changed. The phone stopped ringing and friendships have been drifting. I am not blaming anyone I know that I am at fault to, but I feel like nobody really makes time for me at all. I'm sorry that I dont call, but honestly even when I do call nothing really happens or else I end up planning something and that really isnt as fun. I miss you all and it's friken pathetic that things have gone like this. I love that fact that when I try really hard to become a better person I see my friends like once a month at a birthday party or something. I am sorry if you have boyfriends, girlfriends, other friends whatever it is, it shouldn't make us be this far apart, so far apart that you proably didnt know about anything in this entire entry. I know I have friends andI know who they are, but I am not really sure if I know them too much anymore or if they even know me. Whatever this is turning into emoish I guess and that wasnt really the point, but who cares its my LJ. Don't leave an apology in this entry, thats really not what I want, I want change.