volleyball
Volleyball
[ AN: This isn't necissarily a ROBICOLE oneshot. It can be anybody you want it to be, since there are no names included. It's your's to imagine ENTIRELY. ]
DISCLAIMER ~ I own nothing. Except this storyline, it's based on something that happened to me.
As I walked into the usually empty classroom, I saw her. I slowly walked towards her, and even then I could sense the sadness and emptyness in both her aura and her eyes. The eyes that used to be so full of joy and happiness seemed as dull as grey, as if she hadn't seen the light for days.
She sees me, at least I think she does. When she looks in my direction, she seems as if she is looking into nothingness, as if the classroom is dark - like her whole world has been swollowed.
I look at her, and I know why she's become so ... empty.
Me and Him.
Even if he doesn't like me tomorrow,
I knew he loved me yesterday.
After moments that have seems like forever, I decide to speak up.
“You love volleyball” I say, only hoping that she knows that when I said volleyball, I never meant it.
“I do” she whispers, with tears rolling down her face.
But we both know that volleyball is not what we're really talking about.
We never really had anything in common. We were both on the volleyball team, and that was what made us friends. She loved him, he loved her. The whole school knew that. But when I began my tutoring lessons with him, he began to love me. That's how the Story goes...
Wanting him is hard to get.
Loving him is hard to regret.
Losing him is hard to accept.
Again, more silence.
When I begin to get up, knowing that this conversation wasn't going anywhere, she spoke.
“Stay”, while looking me in the eye.
So I did.
Its amazing how someone
can break your heart
But yet you still love them
with every broken piece
I can hear the clock ticking, it stays like that more a while until she finally speaks up.
“Volleyball” she said, and that one word was enough.
I sigh, knowing that her being like this is my fault exactly.
“You loved volleyball first” I whisper, but loud enough for her to hear. I bite my lip, maybe it will bleed. I wait for her answer.
“I did” she replied.
I stayed silent.
“It became my life” she continued, with both of us knowing that her telling me this was both a relief and a pain. A relief because she can finally release her emotions, and a pain because she's telling this to me.
As I look at the ceiling in silence, she sighs. Neither of us move a muscle, and both of us whisper “Volleyball”.
It really hurts when you expected
so much more from the person
you once loved so much.
I hear her sigh, and I don't move a muscle.
Out of both pride and guilt, I decide to say something I sould have said a very long time ago.
“I'm sorry I stole the volleyball court from you”, with tears running downs my eyes too.
But that had an entirely different meaning. Yeah, I'm good at volleyball. Yeah, I'm better than her. Yeah, I replaced her as head captain. But that didn't matter compared to all the pain and sadness that I had caused her.
She looks at me, and I can see the damaged and heartbreak that she has been hiding.
“It's not your fault. It never was” she said, attempting to smile.
And just in that one moment - that one smile - I know that she's beginning her healing process.
Even when I pour my heart out to you,
I'm not sure it shows,
that I love you more than you'll ever know.
As happy as I can be for my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, I'm still very confused. I look around the classroom, desperately trying to hide the tears now freely flowing down my cheeks. With one last breath, I ask her something that I truly have been afraid of.
“Aren't you going to fight for him?” I ask, treasuring the moments in between us two talking.
Her eyes go back down to the ground, as she sighs to think about what to say next.
She looks up and begins to smile. Not the evil smile that you would expect from your proclaimed worse enemy. She gives me a genuine smile, as if there had never been a problem in the first place.
“Sometimes .. Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep.”
I stay silent, wondering where she is going with this.
She sadly smiles, and continues.
“The only way to retain love is to give it away.”
And after that, I know exactly what she means. She loves him. That's why she's letting him go.
So I smile, since that was all my brain was enabling me to do right now.
Earlier a friend of mine told me a piece of advice, and the words he told me really shook me.
So I told her too.
“You know, Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak;
sometimes it means
that you are strong enough to let go. “
She stays quiet to think about this for a second, and then replies.
“My thoughts exactly”.
The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things
you weren't paying attention to before.
I look at this girl one last time, only to realize that she will shine again. She'll overcome this obstacle and be happy once more.
I get up to leave, and this time she doesn't stop me.
I stop nevertheless, to tell her one last thing.
“I truly do love Volleyball”
She looks up at me, half-smiling and half-frowning.
“I know, it's a blessing in disguise for you”
I look at the heartbroken girl in front of me, and realize how lucky I am.
She looks back at me.
“Take care of him” she says.
“I will”.
I walk out of the classroom, analizing the past hour in my head. She loves him, of course. But she's letting him go, again because she loves him. And on my way to his house, I find myself thinking about the one day that she will rise again and smile the genuine smile that she did for me.
I'll take care of him, I owe her that.
Volleyball had been my passion since I was little. But now, there's even more reasons to love volleyball. I love him, I'll take care of him. After that conversation, there's nothing I would rather do than stay with him.
WORD COUNT: 1127.