(no subject)
im severely lacking creative energy in my current life. dont get me wrong, i love my life and i have a BLAST. but its a different kind of fun that i miss. the past few days have completely justified my urge to uproot my life and move to an unknown world. a few old friends have come back into my life recently and took me back to a place i once was. there, that place, was surrounded by creative energy, music, art, photography.
i miss the days (way back in the day) where me and friends would wander the hills of the forestry center, just to sit on benches and take in the beauty. throw on our ipods and dance down the paths of the trees. i miss my nieces and nephews or any children around, to remind me of the simple pleasures of life as they stop to take notice of the ants in a line on the ground. whens the last time any adult slowed to notice something that small. my guitars sit in my room and collect dust, which is nobodies fault by my own, but i miss the sound of them in the background. where did all my friends go that would put me to sleep to sublime- steel train. most of all, i miss moriahs words accompanied by the piano- god that girl has so much talent. i miss photography. the days we would drive 30 minutes to a rural area with a lone set of train tracks leading out of a tunnel- for the perfect pictures of "freedom" as we called it. wander the streets of downtown to capture the BEAUTY of making a chaotic city seem peaceful. we looked at the world from a different view when there is a camera in hand. it somehow makes the stream of water more blue, and the graffiti on the building a work of art. and oh my god i miss art. i dont expect anyone to be able to get lost in museums for hours like me, so i rarely take people when i go, but i do miss my ferris bulers day off moments with my friends that COULD understand. i miss when we would spend all day at the that skate park in portland. we were never really good enough to join in with the boys, but i was just as happy watching them. they werent competing with each other, or showing off.. they were just all together fing around skating. i miss sitting on "our bench" at union square max station stop with no intention of getting on the max, just to share insightful conversation and people watch the variety of characters that pass by. the last time i could get a friend to people watch with me was watching the girls spill into the club to approve his next one night stand.
im not blaming it on san diego, because this town is full of possibilities, im not blaming it on my friends, because there is some interesting spontaneous people as well. i do believe that it has a lot to do with the busyness, immaturity and insecurities of the lifestyles of the people i surround myself with here.
i need someone to be right along side me when i get that look in my eyes... that crazy, restless look...
i feel like the scene from the notebook, where alli says "i dont paint anymore." all i need, is a noah to set up an easel and paints for me.
AND
this having nothing really to do with anything above...
to quote a friend..
"I started to realize that the people I truly respect and enjoy being around are all leaders. And I don't mean leaders in the sense that they have to demand everyone follow their lead, but that they choose their own path, make decisions based on their morals, experiences, what they feel is right. They don't do things because it's "cool", or that's what they're "supposed" to do according to whatever trend is happening.
I'm realizing more and more that our society really isn't split up by rich and poor, race, religious beliefs, as much as it is by those who think for themselves and those that do not. That seems to be the core seperation in the America I know. Obviously those other things play a part and most people have moments of both, but as a whole, you either do things based on your own conclusions, or on what the people around you think you should be doing. I think it's safe to say that most of the friends I really get along with and respect fall into the former catagory. "
*thanks aaron
this is what im talking about. if these pictures dont make you want to wander the world to take pictures i dont know what will...
how talented is this man..
an old friend.. mr talent himself.. mr ryan p
heres his myspace
i miss the days (way back in the day) where me and friends would wander the hills of the forestry center, just to sit on benches and take in the beauty. throw on our ipods and dance down the paths of the trees. i miss my nieces and nephews or any children around, to remind me of the simple pleasures of life as they stop to take notice of the ants in a line on the ground. whens the last time any adult slowed to notice something that small. my guitars sit in my room and collect dust, which is nobodies fault by my own, but i miss the sound of them in the background. where did all my friends go that would put me to sleep to sublime- steel train. most of all, i miss moriahs words accompanied by the piano- god that girl has so much talent. i miss photography. the days we would drive 30 minutes to a rural area with a lone set of train tracks leading out of a tunnel- for the perfect pictures of "freedom" as we called it. wander the streets of downtown to capture the BEAUTY of making a chaotic city seem peaceful. we looked at the world from a different view when there is a camera in hand. it somehow makes the stream of water more blue, and the graffiti on the building a work of art. and oh my god i miss art. i dont expect anyone to be able to get lost in museums for hours like me, so i rarely take people when i go, but i do miss my ferris bulers day off moments with my friends that COULD understand. i miss when we would spend all day at the that skate park in portland. we were never really good enough to join in with the boys, but i was just as happy watching them. they werent competing with each other, or showing off.. they were just all together fing around skating. i miss sitting on "our bench" at union square max station stop with no intention of getting on the max, just to share insightful conversation and people watch the variety of characters that pass by. the last time i could get a friend to people watch with me was watching the girls spill into the club to approve his next one night stand.
im not blaming it on san diego, because this town is full of possibilities, im not blaming it on my friends, because there is some interesting spontaneous people as well. i do believe that it has a lot to do with the busyness, immaturity and insecurities of the lifestyles of the people i surround myself with here.
i need someone to be right along side me when i get that look in my eyes... that crazy, restless look...
i feel like the scene from the notebook, where alli says "i dont paint anymore." all i need, is a noah to set up an easel and paints for me.
AND
this having nothing really to do with anything above...
to quote a friend..
"I started to realize that the people I truly respect and enjoy being around are all leaders. And I don't mean leaders in the sense that they have to demand everyone follow their lead, but that they choose their own path, make decisions based on their morals, experiences, what they feel is right. They don't do things because it's "cool", or that's what they're "supposed" to do according to whatever trend is happening.
I'm realizing more and more that our society really isn't split up by rich and poor, race, religious beliefs, as much as it is by those who think for themselves and those that do not. That seems to be the core seperation in the America I know. Obviously those other things play a part and most people have moments of both, but as a whole, you either do things based on your own conclusions, or on what the people around you think you should be doing. I think it's safe to say that most of the friends I really get along with and respect fall into the former catagory. "
*thanks aaron
this is what im talking about. if these pictures dont make you want to wander the world to take pictures i dont know what will...
how talented is this man..
an old friend.. mr talent himself.. mr ryan p
heres his myspace