Questions About Love and Sex
It had been a long week since their visit with Ms. Pillsbury. They spent most of that week reconnecting, talking through everything and have copious amounts of make up sex. Seriously, Burt made Congressman was not only a gift to America, but to Kurt and Blaine’s sex life. (Not to mention, Finn and Rachel’s). They talked about everything that had happened over the last couple of months, from the rock salt slushy and the decision to not turn Sebastian in, to Karofsky’s Valentines, and Kurt’s reaction to the suicide attempt. Kurt asked if Blaine’s decision to sing Cough Syrup that day in the auditorium was his way to get something across to Kurt, to which Blaine said it was, a little. They talked about Cooper and how he and Blaine had been in touch regularly, and Blaine’s plans to maybe spend the last week of the summer in LA, since Kurt will be in NY by then.
They talked about some of the things that came up in their argument, Kurt promised that he wasn’t still upset about West Side Story and he didn’t want Blaine to give up any solos, (though Blaine knew deep down that if he were offered a solo for Nationals over Kurt, he would turn it down). They talked about NYADA, and Blaine promised that he was still so supportive, and would be there every step of the way during the audtion process, and Kurt made Blaine promise to speak up if he starts making Blaine feel bad again. They both agreed to work on how they deal with issues, Kurt won’t jump to the most hurtful thing that he can think of in an argument, and Blaine won’t bottle everything up until he explodes. All in all, they were closer than ever, and couldn’t be happier.
It was Friday night, and Burt had come home for the first Friday Night dinner in a month. It was a full house, Carole was home from work, Rachel and Mercedes were over as well. The emotion in the room was obvious, everyone knew that after this summer, having everyone over like this would be a rare treat. So Burt fired up the grill and they ate outside.
Everyone had gone their separate ways, Finn and Rachel were at her house working on her NYADA audition, Sam and Mercedes went to a movie, and Burt and Carole were enjoying some much needed alone time, and no one wanted to dwell on what that meant. Kurt and Blaine retired up to Kurt’s room, and Kurt was scrolling through his dvr trying to find something to watch.
“Okay, so we’ve got, The Voice, I still have all the Being Bobby Brown episodes, Classic Arts Showcase, some episodes of My Strange Addiction, RuPaul’s Drag Race, and 1 Girl 5 Gays.”
Blaine looked over thoughtfully. To be honest, as funny as Being Bobby Brown was, he didn’t want any reminders of their fight. As much as Kurt loved Classic Arts Showcase, it usually put Blaine to sleep, and as much as he tried to get into The Voice, he just found the format confusing and really couldn’t stand Christina Aguilera’s third grade attempts of flirting with Adam Levine. He always told Kurt she might as well pull his hair and run away.
“I’m caught up on RuPaul’s Drag Race, but if you want to watch it, we can.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Oh, I’m caught up. And I know i say this all the time about shows we watch, and I still watch Top Model even after Nicole beat Laura, but if Phi Phi wins over Chad, I will be done with this show forever.”
Blaine laughed, he missed this over that month, hanging out in Kurt’s room as Kurt rants over TV shows.
“Well, I haven’t watched 1 Girl, 5 Gays in a while, so let’s go with that.”
“Okay, before I get started, do you want anything from downstairs?”
Blaine rubbed his belly, which was protruding just a little over his belt from their huge dinner.
“Oh God no, I don’t think I have any room left. Your Dad and Carole stuffed us tonight.”
“I know, who knew impending empty nest syndrome would awaken my Dad’s inner chef?”
Kurt settled on the bed next to Blaine, raising his arm and letting Blaine settle underneath. Blaine cuddled into Kurt’s side as Kurt pushed play on his DVR.
“20 questions about love and sex!” Came blaring from the TV.
“So are we just watching or answering tonight?” Kurt asked. Blaine looked up and smiled.
“Whatever you want, I don’t mind either way. I just hope we have a good panel tonight. The last few times i did watch, I didn’t see anyone I wanted to see.”
“You’re just hoping Ian is on the panel tonight. I don’t know how I’m supposed to measure up to a guy they call “8 inch Lynch”. “
“You measure up just fine.” Blaine said, planting a chaste kiss to Kurt’s neck. They turn to the Tv and notice the entire panel sitting around naked.
“OMG, it’s the naked episode. This should be good.”
“I can’t believe they’re doing this! Just sitting around naked in a room full of people. And how is Aliya Jasmine even able to do her job? I would be mortified.”
“Well, Kurt, you got comfortable being naked with me.”
“But how long did that take? I mean, the first few times we had sex, I was dressed before you even caught your breath. The first time you walked in the bathroom to pee while i was in the shower, I nearly had a nervous breakdown. This is not just being naked with your boyfriend, this would be like sitting around naked with all the guys from Glee club. Oh God, could you imagine?”
“I think I’d be okay sitting naked with Mike and Sam.” Kurt side eyes Blaine and elbows him softly.
“Blaine, honey, do we need to talk about your crush on Mike and Sam?”
“It’s not a crush, I’m just acknowledging that they’re good looking guys, I’m just, you know, I don’t have a crush. I just... yeah.” Blaine looks down blushing furiously and Kurt finally laughs.
“Blaine, I think it’s cute that you and Mike have this weird platonic crush thing happening, and trust me, Tina and I are looking for ways to exploit it in our favor. Possibly involving a kiddy pool filled with baby oil.”
Blaine sputters, still blushing, “Rewind a bit Kurt, we missed a bunch of questions.”
“Oh, now you want to watch.” Kurt laughs, presses a kiss into Blaine’s hair and rewinds the dvr.
*******************************************
“Did you groom before the show?”
“Oh god, I’d hope so.” Kurt says, rolling his eyes and Blaine laughs.
“Kurt, we can’t all have super light hair. You don’t know how lucky you are, I have to groom like twice a week.”
“And I’m lucky that I have a boyfriend with impeccable hygiene. I’ve been in the locker room with Puck and Finn, and do you know they just learned how to wash their balls? I can’t imagine the stench, how has Rachel not thrown up on him yet?”
Blaine shudders at the thought. He’d been in the locker room when Beiste explained that to them, and he couldn’t believe they’d made it this far in life without knowing the proper way to wash themselves.
******************************************
“Have you ever had pee in your mouth?”
Kurt gives the TV a disgusted look. “And of course, Santos’ answer is yes. I’m so glad that I will only ever be with you and your impeccable hygiene, but Blaine Anderson, I swear on my wardrobe, if I ever taste pee on your dick, I will never put in in my mouth again.”
Blaine wants to roll his eyes, but Kurt just told him that he only ever plans to be with him, so instead of pointing out that he would never be so gross as to not make sure all his parts are clean every time they have sex, he pulls Kurt into a kiss. Blaine doesn’t plan to be with anyone else, either.
*****************************************
“Kurt, do you have a nickname for my dick?”
Kurt glares and Blaine. “I refuse to answer that question. That is just crass.”
“Kurt, you’re blushing. Oh my God, you have! You have a nickname for my dick!” Blaine laughs and Kurt tries to keep a straight face.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’d never do such a thing. You are ridiculous. If you must know, I may have referred to it as “Little Blainers” once or twice.”
“Little? Really Kurt? Little Blainers?”
“Oh my God, Blaine that’s not what I meant and you know it! Fine, I’ll call it, average Blainers. Normal Blainer’s. Perfectly acceptable and satisfying Blainers.”
“I’d prefer slightly above average Blainers, but I guess I can compromise.”
**************************************
As the show progressed, Kurt and Blaine got more comforable on the bed, lying down, Kurt on his back, Blaine’s head on his chest. Kurt running his fingers through Blaine’s hair.
“What’s your favorite mistake?”
“Being a really shitty spy.”
“Serenading Jeremiah. If I’d never serenaded Jeremaih, you never would have told me how you felt, and it probably would have taken me even longer to get my head out of my ass.”
Kurt leaned down and kissed Blaine, the show forgotten for a few minutes.
*************************************
They’d progressed a bit from chaste kisses to full on making out when Kurt rolled Blaine onto the remote and volume suddenly got louder.
“A guy can keep on ___________ during sex”
“Socks.” Kurt called out, Blaine still kissing his neck. Blaine stopped and glared at Kurt.
“No, Kurt. That is just the unsexiest article of clothing. If you keep your socks on, you might as well keep your underwear on.”
“Blaine, your bedroom is a freezer. My feet get cold, I don’t see the big deal. Is this a weird foot fetish thing?”
“No. It’s just unattractive. I’ll keep you warm, but no socks, seriously.”
“Okay, fine. No socks. But can you keep your bow tie on next time?”
“Is this something you’ve been thinking about?”
“Um...yeah, a little.” Kurt blushed up to his ears.
“Yes, absolutely, I’ll keep my bowtie on. Every time if that’s what you want.”
Kurt picked up the remote and turned the TV off.
“I’ve had enough questions tonight. Too bad you aren’t wearing a bow tie tonight.”
“I’m sure you have an extra one I could wear for the night.”
“I have plenty.”
Kurt got up and walked over to his closet and Blaine turned off the light.
They talked about some of the things that came up in their argument, Kurt promised that he wasn’t still upset about West Side Story and he didn’t want Blaine to give up any solos, (though Blaine knew deep down that if he were offered a solo for Nationals over Kurt, he would turn it down). They talked about NYADA, and Blaine promised that he was still so supportive, and would be there every step of the way during the audtion process, and Kurt made Blaine promise to speak up if he starts making Blaine feel bad again. They both agreed to work on how they deal with issues, Kurt won’t jump to the most hurtful thing that he can think of in an argument, and Blaine won’t bottle everything up until he explodes. All in all, they were closer than ever, and couldn’t be happier.
It was Friday night, and Burt had come home for the first Friday Night dinner in a month. It was a full house, Carole was home from work, Rachel and Mercedes were over as well. The emotion in the room was obvious, everyone knew that after this summer, having everyone over like this would be a rare treat. So Burt fired up the grill and they ate outside.
Everyone had gone their separate ways, Finn and Rachel were at her house working on her NYADA audition, Sam and Mercedes went to a movie, and Burt and Carole were enjoying some much needed alone time, and no one wanted to dwell on what that meant. Kurt and Blaine retired up to Kurt’s room, and Kurt was scrolling through his dvr trying to find something to watch.
“Okay, so we’ve got, The Voice, I still have all the Being Bobby Brown episodes, Classic Arts Showcase, some episodes of My Strange Addiction, RuPaul’s Drag Race, and 1 Girl 5 Gays.”
Blaine looked over thoughtfully. To be honest, as funny as Being Bobby Brown was, he didn’t want any reminders of their fight. As much as Kurt loved Classic Arts Showcase, it usually put Blaine to sleep, and as much as he tried to get into The Voice, he just found the format confusing and really couldn’t stand Christina Aguilera’s third grade attempts of flirting with Adam Levine. He always told Kurt she might as well pull his hair and run away.
“I’m caught up on RuPaul’s Drag Race, but if you want to watch it, we can.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Oh, I’m caught up. And I know i say this all the time about shows we watch, and I still watch Top Model even after Nicole beat Laura, but if Phi Phi wins over Chad, I will be done with this show forever.”
Blaine laughed, he missed this over that month, hanging out in Kurt’s room as Kurt rants over TV shows.
“Well, I haven’t watched 1 Girl, 5 Gays in a while, so let’s go with that.”
“Okay, before I get started, do you want anything from downstairs?”
Blaine rubbed his belly, which was protruding just a little over his belt from their huge dinner.
“Oh God no, I don’t think I have any room left. Your Dad and Carole stuffed us tonight.”
“I know, who knew impending empty nest syndrome would awaken my Dad’s inner chef?”
Kurt settled on the bed next to Blaine, raising his arm and letting Blaine settle underneath. Blaine cuddled into Kurt’s side as Kurt pushed play on his DVR.
“20 questions about love and sex!” Came blaring from the TV.
“So are we just watching or answering tonight?” Kurt asked. Blaine looked up and smiled.
“Whatever you want, I don’t mind either way. I just hope we have a good panel tonight. The last few times i did watch, I didn’t see anyone I wanted to see.”
“You’re just hoping Ian is on the panel tonight. I don’t know how I’m supposed to measure up to a guy they call “8 inch Lynch”. “
“You measure up just fine.” Blaine said, planting a chaste kiss to Kurt’s neck. They turn to the Tv and notice the entire panel sitting around naked.
“OMG, it’s the naked episode. This should be good.”
“I can’t believe they’re doing this! Just sitting around naked in a room full of people. And how is Aliya Jasmine even able to do her job? I would be mortified.”
“Well, Kurt, you got comfortable being naked with me.”
“But how long did that take? I mean, the first few times we had sex, I was dressed before you even caught your breath. The first time you walked in the bathroom to pee while i was in the shower, I nearly had a nervous breakdown. This is not just being naked with your boyfriend, this would be like sitting around naked with all the guys from Glee club. Oh God, could you imagine?”
“I think I’d be okay sitting naked with Mike and Sam.” Kurt side eyes Blaine and elbows him softly.
“Blaine, honey, do we need to talk about your crush on Mike and Sam?”
“It’s not a crush, I’m just acknowledging that they’re good looking guys, I’m just, you know, I don’t have a crush. I just... yeah.” Blaine looks down blushing furiously and Kurt finally laughs.
“Blaine, I think it’s cute that you and Mike have this weird platonic crush thing happening, and trust me, Tina and I are looking for ways to exploit it in our favor. Possibly involving a kiddy pool filled with baby oil.”
Blaine sputters, still blushing, “Rewind a bit Kurt, we missed a bunch of questions.”
“Oh, now you want to watch.” Kurt laughs, presses a kiss into Blaine’s hair and rewinds the dvr.
*******************************************
“Did you groom before the show?”
“Oh god, I’d hope so.” Kurt says, rolling his eyes and Blaine laughs.
“Kurt, we can’t all have super light hair. You don’t know how lucky you are, I have to groom like twice a week.”
“And I’m lucky that I have a boyfriend with impeccable hygiene. I’ve been in the locker room with Puck and Finn, and do you know they just learned how to wash their balls? I can’t imagine the stench, how has Rachel not thrown up on him yet?”
Blaine shudders at the thought. He’d been in the locker room when Beiste explained that to them, and he couldn’t believe they’d made it this far in life without knowing the proper way to wash themselves.
******************************************
“Have you ever had pee in your mouth?”
Kurt gives the TV a disgusted look. “And of course, Santos’ answer is yes. I’m so glad that I will only ever be with you and your impeccable hygiene, but Blaine Anderson, I swear on my wardrobe, if I ever taste pee on your dick, I will never put in in my mouth again.”
Blaine wants to roll his eyes, but Kurt just told him that he only ever plans to be with him, so instead of pointing out that he would never be so gross as to not make sure all his parts are clean every time they have sex, he pulls Kurt into a kiss. Blaine doesn’t plan to be with anyone else, either.
*****************************************
“Kurt, do you have a nickname for my dick?”
Kurt glares and Blaine. “I refuse to answer that question. That is just crass.”
“Kurt, you’re blushing. Oh my God, you have! You have a nickname for my dick!” Blaine laughs and Kurt tries to keep a straight face.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’d never do such a thing. You are ridiculous. If you must know, I may have referred to it as “Little Blainers” once or twice.”
“Little? Really Kurt? Little Blainers?”
“Oh my God, Blaine that’s not what I meant and you know it! Fine, I’ll call it, average Blainers. Normal Blainer’s. Perfectly acceptable and satisfying Blainers.”
“I’d prefer slightly above average Blainers, but I guess I can compromise.”
**************************************
As the show progressed, Kurt and Blaine got more comforable on the bed, lying down, Kurt on his back, Blaine’s head on his chest. Kurt running his fingers through Blaine’s hair.
“What’s your favorite mistake?”
“Being a really shitty spy.”
“Serenading Jeremiah. If I’d never serenaded Jeremaih, you never would have told me how you felt, and it probably would have taken me even longer to get my head out of my ass.”
Kurt leaned down and kissed Blaine, the show forgotten for a few minutes.
*************************************
They’d progressed a bit from chaste kisses to full on making out when Kurt rolled Blaine onto the remote and volume suddenly got louder.
“A guy can keep on ___________ during sex”
“Socks.” Kurt called out, Blaine still kissing his neck. Blaine stopped and glared at Kurt.
“No, Kurt. That is just the unsexiest article of clothing. If you keep your socks on, you might as well keep your underwear on.”
“Blaine, your bedroom is a freezer. My feet get cold, I don’t see the big deal. Is this a weird foot fetish thing?”
“No. It’s just unattractive. I’ll keep you warm, but no socks, seriously.”
“Okay, fine. No socks. But can you keep your bow tie on next time?”
“Is this something you’ve been thinking about?”
“Um...yeah, a little.” Kurt blushed up to his ears.
“Yes, absolutely, I’ll keep my bowtie on. Every time if that’s what you want.”
Kurt picked up the remote and turned the TV off.
“I’ve had enough questions tonight. Too bad you aren’t wearing a bow tie tonight.”
“I’m sure you have an extra one I could wear for the night.”
“I have plenty.”
Kurt got up and walked over to his closet and Blaine turned off the light.