The Last Resort
The rumors of Will Schuester’s lack of planning had reached all the way to Dalton, before Blaine had ever met Kurt. Wes was on top of all of their competition, and had spent an entire practice once just gobsmacked that there was a show choir that made most of their decisions on the fly. Once he met Kurt, the rumors were confirmed. Blaine won’t ever forget the play-by-play text messages he received from Kurt while he was in New York. That they hadn’t written a single song two days into the trip, and Kurt was fully expecting them to sing the three Journey songs they hadn’t already covered, and he was hoping that’s how it would go down, since he really wanted “Lights” to be his solo.
Once Blaine transferred though, things hadn’t been that bad. Mr. Schue held booty camp to work on choreography and they’d decided on Michael Jackson pretty easily. In fact, that year, they had no real issues outside of finding replacements for Mercedes, Brittany, Santana and Rachel for Sectionals. Of course, looking back, he realizes that it was because Mr. Schuester was working hard to make sure last years group got a Sectionals win under their belt before they graduated. It was not news to any of them that he did not have that attachment or concern for his graduating class. In fact, he was gone for most of the year and since he’s been back, he cares more about besting Sue Sylvester than he does about anything else.
However, even knowing that, Blaine things this is ridiculous. They are in LA, it’s the day before Nationals and they are short two members. Marley threatened to quit if Bree was asked to join, and Dottie had to breathe into a paper bag for ten minutes and then just squeaked and ran out of the room the second they tried to teach her choreography. Stoner Brett refused to join on principle since he was turned down at his original audition and the band dudes couldn’t get their parents to agree to let them fly across the country on a moments notice.
And so here they are. In hotel room in Los Angeles. Mercedes reluctantly agreed to perform with them, but she just rolled her eyes and shook her head the entire time, muttering about lack of planning and how things never change. Blaine’s happy to have her though, because she’s an excellent performer and an all around great friend.
What Blaine’s not happy about, however, is the person they found to replace Joe.
“Isn’t like old times, Squirt? You and me, performing together? God, I wish Mom and Dad could have made it out. So what are we singing?” Cooper asked, with his arm around Blaine, pulling him into a hug.
“We aren’t singing anything. You are dancing in the background, way in the back, where hopefully no one can see you, since you’re actually 30.”
“Aw come on Blainey, you and I both know I don’t look my age, in fact, some of your friends look about 30? That kid with the mohawk last year? He had to be at least 28 years old. He was looking a little long in the tooth.”
“That was Puck, and he was 18. But you are not, and I’d really like to win since I’m graduating next week, so I just need you to learn the backing vocals and just try to blend in.”
“So touchy, Blainey. I know it sucks being in a long distance relationship, and not getting any on the regular, but I’m sure Kurt’s coming to graduation, and he’ll give you a little grad night nookie, and -”
“Cooper, please, just no,” Blaine says, pinching his nose, feeling a headache come on. He looks up to see Mercedes watching Cooper, rolling her eyes. At least there’s one sane person in the room.
“Can we get this over with? Not exactly what I had in mind when I told Mr. Schue I’d help,” Mercedes complains.
“I know Mercedes, I’m so sorry. I don’t even know where Mr. Schue is, or why I’m the one who has to do this.”
“Oh, now you don’t want to be in charge, that’s convenient,” Kitty says from where she’s sitting on the floor stretching.
Blaine sighs before looking up at everyone, “Okay, we’re going to do the guys’ number first, from the top. Tina, can you and the girls take Mercedes into the hall and start going over the girls’ number?”
“Sure thing, Blainey Days,” Tina says, before she and the girls head out with Mercedes in tow.
“Blaine Days? I think she’s hot for you, Squirt. Got that Anderson charm working on the ladies, such a waste. She knows you’re gay, right?”
Blaine ignores Cooper before gesturing to Jake, “Jake, can you come up here, just watch everyone, so you can fix any mistakes with the choreography?”
Jake nods, and joins Blaine up front and counts them off, he and Blaine watching as they run through the number.
“Dude, I thought my brother was obnoxious,” Jake mutters to Blaine. They’re halfway through the number when Cooper stops.
“Hold on, this choreography is great and all, but I feel like it needs something more. Shouldn’t we be pointing or winking at the judges? I just don’t feel like we’re really showing them how much we-”
“No Cooper, we’re not pointing at the judges!”
“Are you sure, because I know if I were judging this, I’d definitely want to be pandered to. It lets them know that you see them, and you’re intense about winning.”
“Hey man, maybe your brother has a point,” Ryder says.
“Yo, it couldn’t hurt to add some pointing,” Artie adds.
“We’re not adding any pointing! Jake worked hard on this choreography, we’re not changing it now! Please, will you guys just -”
“Are you going to storm out again?” Ryder asks.
“He still does that? Oh my God Blaine, really? You guys, he used to do that all the time when he was a kid. Anytime we’d try to work together on something, if I didn’t listen to him or do it exactly his way, he’d stomp his little feet and his face would get so red. He wouldn’t even leave the room, he’d just go sulk in a corner. Does he still sulk?”
“Oh my god, he does! He did that. Blaine remember when you totally did that?” Sam says, before seeing the angry expression on Blaine’s face and turning away, pretending to see something interesting on the ceiling.
“Fine, point. You guys can point, and do whatever you want? Who needs to win? I don’t need to win. You guys don’t want to listen, we’ll just wait till Mr. Schue gets here. Oh wait, no we won’t because he’s baby shopping in Santa Monica and doesn’t even care.”
“He’s totally about to storm out,” Cooper says.
“Cooper, I swear -”
“ENOUGH!” Jake yells, “Enough. Blaine is right. We’re not pointing or adding anything to pander to the judges. We’re going to win because we’re the best, and not because we’re kissing the judges asses or anything. And who cares if Blaine pouts, at least he doesn’t kick over chairs every time something doesn’t go his way, Ryder. Now listen, we’re going to work on this number until it’s perfect, and then when it’s perfect, we’re going to the beach.”
Jake counts them down again and they restart the number from the beginning. Blaine watches as Cooper catches on with the choreography pretty quickly. They run through the number a few more times, and then Blaine walks them through some vocal exercises. When it’s done and the girls file back in, Cooper pulls Blaine aside as the rest of them start discussing which beach they want to go to.
“Hey little bro, I just want to tell you, you’re a pretty good leader. Even if you guys lack intensity. Mom and Dad really would be proud.”
Blaine relaxes, smiling reluctantly, “Thanks, Coop. And thank you for helping us, I do appreciate it.”
“I’m just glad I can be there, I’ve missed all of your other performances. Though, seriously, I’m glad you’re getting out of that school, but if you ever need to make some money, you could totally teach a show choir masterclass.”
“I don’t know about that, but I’ll keep it in mind.”
“Totally. Those who can’t don’t and those who can teach others. Confucius said that.”