(no subject)
So, apparently my coping skills aren't as fine-tuned as I had imagined. It seems like I can't go a day without thinking about Mammy. Hearing her voice on that home video had such a strong effect on me...I wasn't anticipating that at all. I am on the verge of tears pretty regularly because I still can't imagine life without her in it...
I know it will get better with time...hell, I've made it through it with losing dad. I just wish it didn't hurt so much.
I just know that pretty much everything good that is in me came from her...and she's what drives me to continue with my job. She always told me that she was so happy I chose to help children because she never had that when she was growing up as an abused child. I just hope that out of the monotony I may help some child. Sometimes it doesn't feel like it.
I just miss her and I think finding things that remind me of her makes it worse. I found a simple note today from her. Sometimes I talk to her because I hope that somewhere she is listening...
Anyways...here's to fighting the good fight. I love you Mammy.
P.S. I'm fairly certain I jammed the shit outta my thumb tonight doing a swan dive in a 3.5 ft. pool.