Lay a whisper on my pillow..
I was home alone all day. Not a bad thing, for sure. I desperately needed the alone time to just clear my head and think
about what's going on. Of course, a lot is going on, and there is no way around it.
I felt kind of psychotic for sitting at the end of my bed for most of the day, but that's just what I did.
I cried when I thought of how it would be if I still had my real mom. I miss her a lot. It's really hard wanting to see baby
pictures of yourself, but no one is there to show you any. I only have pictures from when I was 3 and up.
There are things that I wish I knew about her too. But the only thing I know is her name and epitaph.
My mom got home a little while ago with my perscription, and she told me that I had to get on my knees
and beg for my pills. I didn't cry! I was very pleased with myself. But I didn't get my pills, either.
So yet again, I'm becoming more shakey, light headed, and verrry moody. I guess that's something bipolar is something
I remember my mom with, considering she was severely bipolar. I'm not as bad, though.
I talked to Blake today. We talked for quite a while, and he had me smiling and laughing a lot. I love it when people
can make me smile and laugh. It's never something that lasts, but as long as I get a few minutes of forgeting who and
what I am, it's cool.
Maybe tomarrow I'll be back to my usual happy self. For real. Not just fake happy. Ganuinly happy. I doubt it will happy,
But hey, if your goin' to dream, dream big, right?
Back to school tomarrow. I'm actually looking forward to it. Hmm..