My Pillar of Strength.... No More..
TGIF!! thank god its Friday! Truly dreading work each day.. urrgh.
Met up with phyllis n sh peeps yday at Town for a good dinner @ Soup restaurant!
Dinner was yummylicious! we ordered some set which comprised of the Samsui chicken, winter melon soup, fish, brocolli, minced pork, some curry tofu prawn. Dinner came up to be abt $23 each. Reasonable for such a filling dinner! so after that we headed down to 313 for shopping! i bought a f21 clutch. hehe.. last piece left AGAIN! urrggh.. but i was happy with it, so i got it! hehe.. :)
Headed to Cold Rock for some dessert after that. We ordered waffles with Ferrero & Honeycomb. Toppings: Marshmellow & Almond!
heehe.. the waffles & Ferrero rocked my socks! hehe.. talked alot of cock over dinner & dessert! hehe.. shall be hopping to to get a Nintendo Wii soon! heehe...
Headed back home after work today. Went to get tix for Avatar 3d tmr! CANT WAIT!! *beams*
alot's been goin through my mind and heart lately. I've been using shopping as a my excuse, to buy something to fill my emptiness.
Bought my 3Gs on Wed, clutch on thur, dress on fri. Oh god, im so afraid.. will i remain like this forever? i dont think i can ever love again. If this is how love feels like when one party has left, i dont ever wanna come in contact with love again. Ever. Was talking to M online. Pretty sensitive stuff, but i still had to bring it up. I know he's distancing himself from me. It hurts, hurts to the bone. Excruciating pain. Its like being stabbed, and the blade being turned and twisted into your wound.
オタク says:
not bz
i duno wat to talk bout
that
that's all
sorry
~Laura~ says:
its so funny
how we used to have so much to talk about
but all that's left now
is just awkward silence
オタク says:
im sorry
maybe its just me
sorry
i didn't mean anything
sorry
~Laura~ says:
what's just u?
オタク says:
i duno
i just duno wat to do or say
im sorry
~Laura~ says:
no
its not ur fault
オタク says:
oh ok
sigh
sorry
~Laura~ says:
really
u know i dont blame you for anything at all rite?
オタク says:
i know
sorry
~Laura~ says:
stop saying sorry
オタク says:
oh ok
~Laura~ says:
is this how it is after a breakup?
you keep thinkin abt what the other party is thinking or doing?
オタク says:
yeah
sometimes u duno wat to think
~Laura~ says:
is it normal to wonder what the other party is feeling too?
オタク says:
yeah
but each person is different i suppose
~Laura~ says:
what about u?
オタク says:
me ?
i duno
i just dun want to go back into the same state
the same paradox
im sick and tired of all of it
i just bottle everything inside
i smile when i wanna cry
i laugh when im sad
i act cool and calm when actually im pissed
i nvr show my true self i suppose
~Laura~ says:
not even to me?
オタク says:
that's y sometimes i just look so ignorant
i duno
but its not ur fault or anything k ?
i just blame myself
that's y
im too different
try to be someone im not
that's akk
~Laura~ says:
so which part was the real you
オタク says:
all
the one that love u
that was real
~Laura~ says:
what were you hiding from me?
werent you happy with me, that u showed ur true feelings?
オタク says:
i was happy
but i always know we won't last long
then i got very scared
~Laura~ says:
why
オタク says:
i duno
i just got scared
~Laura~ says:
when was that?
オタク says:
after u told me bout ur real feelings bout ur parents and all
~Laura~ says:
u mean in the email?
オタク says:
yeah
~Laura~ says:
im sorry
i kept it in me for a very long time
i felt like i was gonna burst if i didnt tell you
オタク says:
oh ok
its alright
i knew eventually will come to this
~Laura~ says:
but u still held onto us
オタク says:
i thought hope was there
but i was just deluding myself
~Laura~ says:
i thought so too
im sorry
i didnt sacrifice anything for you
オタク says:
its not ur fault
don't worry
k ?
maybe its time we move on
im happy
i nvr regret loving u
i just regret at the end
that's all
~Laura~ says:
wow
looks like your all ready to start afresh
オタク says:
its not that
i just want u to be happy
we're always like this
i dont want u always be so sad and all
always crying
every night not sleeping properly
its not im ready
~Laura~ says:
the way u answer me, seems though
オタク says:
i dun think im ready
~Laura~ says:
i'll be happy for you if u are ready to move on
オタク says:
im more like running away from everything
that's what i've always been gd
always running
~Laura~ says:
wat else is there to run away frm
オタク says:
physically, mentally
i duno
~Laura~ says:
u promised to not bottle things up
must talk to me okay?
オタク says:
ok
i know
dont worry
alright
~Laura~ says:
gimme a few mins poopy
brb
sorry sorry
are u there?
オタク says:
yeah
im here
don't worry
don't call me poopy
i dont like
sorry
hope u dont mind
sorry
~Laura~ says:
ok
sorry
オタク says:
its alright
sorry
~Laura~ says:
can u answer me honestly?
オタク says:
wat is it ?
~Laura~ says:
do you still want to go out with me, or want me to contact u?
オタク says:
yes of course
but im just scared
i dont want give u any false hope, i dont want to break ur heart, i dont want u always be sad and crying every night. Im just so afraid. i cant bear to see u cry again.. or disappoint u.
~Laura~ says:
so ur slowly letting me go
or rather, u've let me go alr
ur just helping me to slowing get accustomed to being singel
オタク says:
im sorry... im so cruel..
sorry..
i cant bear to let u go
but i know i have too
but deep inside, it really hurts.. when i keep everything inside
~Laura~ says:
i knoq
i can sense it frm the way u msg or talk to me
u wanna tell me whats inside?
?
オタク says:
everything i suppose
y am i different
y i cant ever be happy
y i must let u go
everything
my life
is so pathetic
that's y i bottle up everything
its too pathetic
~Laura~ says:
its not pathetic silly
u've so many good points about urself
u;ve got a loving family
what will make you happy?
オタク says:
i duno
~Laura~ says:
ur difference is what makes u stand out
dont ever be ashamed of that
ok?
オタク says:
oh
ok
~Laura~ says:
rem what i love about u?
its you being yourself
ur confidence
オタク says:
i know
sorry
~Laura~ says:
are u crying?
オタク says:
no
just emotionally
writing a song now
thats all
k ?
~Laura~ says:
oh ok
am i disturbing u?
オタク says:
no
not disturbing
k ?
just writing wat i feel
that's all
k ?
~Laura~ says:
okay
i blogged alot in e past few days
オタク says:
at where >
~Laura~ says:
u wanna read?
オタク says:
oh
where ?
u type on word or wat ?
~Laura~ says:
nopey
http://kayatoasted.livejournal.com/?skip=10
Oh well.. i hope that he finds his happiness. Im sure he will. Girls will surely be waiting for him.
I'll be praying for you always.
I know i didnt always say this when we were together,
but..... I Love You.
Met up with phyllis n sh peeps yday at Town for a good dinner @ Soup restaurant!
Dinner was yummylicious! we ordered some set which comprised of the Samsui chicken, winter melon soup, fish, brocolli, minced pork, some curry tofu prawn. Dinner came up to be abt $23 each. Reasonable for such a filling dinner! so after that we headed down to 313 for shopping! i bought a f21 clutch. hehe.. last piece left AGAIN! urrggh.. but i was happy with it, so i got it! hehe.. :)
Headed to Cold Rock for some dessert after that. We ordered waffles with Ferrero & Honeycomb. Toppings: Marshmellow & Almond!
heehe.. the waffles & Ferrero rocked my socks! hehe.. talked alot of cock over dinner & dessert! hehe.. shall be hopping to to get a Nintendo Wii soon! heehe...
Headed back home after work today. Went to get tix for Avatar 3d tmr! CANT WAIT!! *beams*
alot's been goin through my mind and heart lately. I've been using shopping as a my excuse, to buy something to fill my emptiness.
Bought my 3Gs on Wed, clutch on thur, dress on fri. Oh god, im so afraid.. will i remain like this forever? i dont think i can ever love again. If this is how love feels like when one party has left, i dont ever wanna come in contact with love again. Ever. Was talking to M online. Pretty sensitive stuff, but i still had to bring it up. I know he's distancing himself from me. It hurts, hurts to the bone. Excruciating pain. Its like being stabbed, and the blade being turned and twisted into your wound.
オタク says:
not bz
i duno wat to talk bout
that
that's all
sorry
~Laura~ says:
its so funny
how we used to have so much to talk about
but all that's left now
is just awkward silence
オタク says:
im sorry
maybe its just me
sorry
i didn't mean anything
sorry
~Laura~ says:
what's just u?
オタク says:
i duno
i just duno wat to do or say
im sorry
~Laura~ says:
no
its not ur fault
オタク says:
oh ok
sigh
sorry
~Laura~ says:
really
u know i dont blame you for anything at all rite?
オタク says:
i know
sorry
~Laura~ says:
stop saying sorry
オタク says:
oh ok
~Laura~ says:
is this how it is after a breakup?
you keep thinkin abt what the other party is thinking or doing?
オタク says:
yeah
sometimes u duno wat to think
~Laura~ says:
is it normal to wonder what the other party is feeling too?
オタク says:
yeah
but each person is different i suppose
~Laura~ says:
what about u?
オタク says:
me ?
i duno
i just dun want to go back into the same state
the same paradox
im sick and tired of all of it
i just bottle everything inside
i smile when i wanna cry
i laugh when im sad
i act cool and calm when actually im pissed
i nvr show my true self i suppose
~Laura~ says:
not even to me?
オタク says:
that's y sometimes i just look so ignorant
i duno
but its not ur fault or anything k ?
i just blame myself
that's y
im too different
try to be someone im not
that's akk
~Laura~ says:
so which part was the real you
オタク says:
all
the one that love u
that was real
~Laura~ says:
what were you hiding from me?
werent you happy with me, that u showed ur true feelings?
オタク says:
i was happy
but i always know we won't last long
then i got very scared
~Laura~ says:
why
オタク says:
i duno
i just got scared
~Laura~ says:
when was that?
オタク says:
after u told me bout ur real feelings bout ur parents and all
~Laura~ says:
u mean in the email?
オタク says:
yeah
~Laura~ says:
im sorry
i kept it in me for a very long time
i felt like i was gonna burst if i didnt tell you
オタク says:
oh ok
its alright
i knew eventually will come to this
~Laura~ says:
but u still held onto us
オタク says:
i thought hope was there
but i was just deluding myself
~Laura~ says:
i thought so too
im sorry
i didnt sacrifice anything for you
オタク says:
its not ur fault
don't worry
k ?
maybe its time we move on
im happy
i nvr regret loving u
i just regret at the end
that's all
~Laura~ says:
wow
looks like your all ready to start afresh
オタク says:
its not that
i just want u to be happy
we're always like this
i dont want u always be so sad and all
always crying
every night not sleeping properly
its not im ready
~Laura~ says:
the way u answer me, seems though
オタク says:
i dun think im ready
~Laura~ says:
i'll be happy for you if u are ready to move on
オタク says:
im more like running away from everything
that's what i've always been gd
always running
~Laura~ says:
wat else is there to run away frm
オタク says:
physically, mentally
i duno
~Laura~ says:
u promised to not bottle things up
must talk to me okay?
オタク says:
ok
i know
dont worry
alright
~Laura~ says:
gimme a few mins poopy
brb
sorry sorry
are u there?
オタク says:
yeah
im here
don't worry
don't call me poopy
i dont like
sorry
hope u dont mind
sorry
~Laura~ says:
ok
sorry
オタク says:
its alright
sorry
~Laura~ says:
can u answer me honestly?
オタク says:
wat is it ?
~Laura~ says:
do you still want to go out with me, or want me to contact u?
オタク says:
yes of course
but im just scared
i dont want give u any false hope, i dont want to break ur heart, i dont want u always be sad and crying every night. Im just so afraid. i cant bear to see u cry again.. or disappoint u.
~Laura~ says:
so ur slowly letting me go
or rather, u've let me go alr
ur just helping me to slowing get accustomed to being singel
オタク says:
im sorry... im so cruel..
sorry..
i cant bear to let u go
but i know i have too
but deep inside, it really hurts.. when i keep everything inside
~Laura~ says:
i knoq
i can sense it frm the way u msg or talk to me
u wanna tell me whats inside?
?
オタク says:
everything i suppose
y am i different
y i cant ever be happy
y i must let u go
everything
my life
is so pathetic
that's y i bottle up everything
its too pathetic
~Laura~ says:
its not pathetic silly
u've so many good points about urself
u;ve got a loving family
what will make you happy?
オタク says:
i duno
~Laura~ says:
ur difference is what makes u stand out
dont ever be ashamed of that
ok?
オタク says:
oh
ok
~Laura~ says:
rem what i love about u?
its you being yourself
ur confidence
オタク says:
i know
sorry
~Laura~ says:
are u crying?
オタク says:
no
just emotionally
writing a song now
thats all
k ?
~Laura~ says:
oh ok
am i disturbing u?
オタク says:
no
not disturbing
k ?
just writing wat i feel
that's all
k ?
~Laura~ says:
okay
i blogged alot in e past few days
オタク says:
at where >
~Laura~ says:
u wanna read?
オタク says:
oh
where ?
u type on word or wat ?
~Laura~ says:
nopey
http://kayatoasted.livejournal.com/?skip=10
Oh well.. i hope that he finds his happiness. Im sure he will. Girls will surely be waiting for him.
I'll be praying for you always.
I know i didnt always say this when we were together,
but..... I Love You.