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ok so basically, i officially hate high school. i dont think i have ever been this stressed in my life. im like freaking out. sats, college, school work, typical high school bullshit; its all so overwhelming. i was doing really well in school, i had like the best grades and gpa i think i have ever had; all a's and 1 b with a 4.2 gpa. and then today, i found out i now have 4 c's and 2 b's, this semester is starting to get really bad. im actually starting to get scared, i have no idea what i even want to do with my future. i have no idea what college i want to go to or what i even want to study. i dont think i can take any more of this stress. gahhhh! BUT besides the stress of school, things are finally good. im making a good amount of money for myself and things are starting to go back to normal. things were getting pretty bad and after an extremely emotional breakdown and some advice, i realized that i just need to say what i feel. i basically realized i cant shelter myself and keep things bottled up; i need to trust the people around me. the past couple of months have really made me realize things about myself that i need to change. basically though, im just really glad i got out what i needed to and because of it, things are finally starting to change. right now i just want to focus on having the time of my life. but yeah thats pretty much all the venting i have for right now, heh.
i live a safe life
so i will never feel pain or suffering
i never cry here
i never try here
i’ll never reach my full capacity
i want the real thing
i want The Unprotected
i want the feeling that i am still alive