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Ah it's been awhile..so this'll be a long update I'm sure. Um just to warn you..I've had a very up and down weekend..and I'm just going to let everything out without even thinking about anyone else or what they'll have to say about it. I don't care what you think..it's my lj and I'm gonna say whatever the hell I want cuz I need to let everything out. I don't want pity either..I know some people that'll think "oh she thinks her life is so hard!" no..I know I have a good life..but something's suck right now and I just need to let it out..
Tuesday-school and dance
Wednesday-school then crap load of homework
Thursday- School. Then Jakey picked me up and we went to dress rehearsal. It went well..and then after that he took me home..after driving thru the ghetto! haha I was scared :x
Friday-After going to bed around 1..my mom let me sleep til 7 and I went to school 8ish. Then after school I got ready for the performance right away. Jake got here around 5:30ish and we left. The performance went really really well. I was so happy. I finally had my chance to shine..and I loved it. I've never had so many compliments on how wonderful I danced. I was really happy. Got home and went to bed around 12.
Saturday-Didn't have dance class..and didn't wake up until freaking 1 o'clock. Best day of my life. haha I showered and went out w/ Lydia for about an hour. Then came home and got ready for another performance. Joe was over visiting my sister (weird I know..haha) and he dropped me off at Ann's bakery where Jakey was working and then we headed to the performance. It didn't go as well as I would have liked..there were some things on my mind. I found out before the performance, that the girl Jake took to prom..a girl from his church, crystal..was there. And of course..being me..I just started thinking, well overthinking..about Crystal and Jake. So yeah, I wasn't entirely happy..and I couldn't concentrate on my dancing..so therefore I did not do my best, even though everyone said I did wonderful again. Well being the Queen, I was pretty much on stage the whole time, not necessarily dancing, but sitting on my "throne"..I had about 5 minutes when I wasn't on stage..to change my costume..and during that time I ran over to Jake, told him I needed to talk to him..but had to leave cuz I had to be back on stage. Then when everyone in the castle is sleeping (we did sleeping beauty if you forgot--and when the princess is sleeping, theres a spell put over the whole castle so they all sleep) I ended up tearing up a bit..haha great cuz then I had to "wake up" and be happy because "my daughter was awaken by this charming prince and they were to be married" yeah that was kinda hard concitering there were tears running down my face. At the end of bows, it came time to recongize all the seniors..one by one giving them a bonquet of flowers. So I kinda felt better because at that point I wasn't the only one w/ a wet face. However, after that I pretty much lost it and just hugged Kira crying. Haha yeah I was a mess and felt like an idiot. but hey..what could I do. So after a bizillion pictures w/ people..I finally went over to Jake. We hugged and he kissed my head (as my crown poked him) and then we got a picture. Um then Kira, me, my mom, sister, Ashley and Sandy..decided we were going to Denny's. Then Jake came along so we could talk, and he took me and Kira. On the way there, we talked, but not about the whole situation..just about stuff. I found out that my sister was incredibly close to dieing when her and my mom were in a car accident last January. Kira had promised her mom and my mom that she wouldn't tell me when it had happened. It kinda struck me funny.. I didn't really know what to think. Hm at Denny's we ate and talked and stuff. Meghan and Lisa showed up! We talked to them too. Then when Jake was bringing me and Kira back to my house.. I finally asked him if he liked that Crystal girl. And we just talked about the fact he's leaving in about 2 months for school..and stuff. I know he's trying not to get close so I'm not as hurt when he has to leave..but I already know I'm going to be a mess. It can't get much worse..after seeing how I was last nite..I know it'll be horrible..haha there's no way it could be harder. Yeah I'm still crying a bit today..I talked to Mindy about it..cuz shes practically going thru the same thing w/ Jeff leaving. We decided when they leave..we're just going to watch movies together, eat chocolate and cry. haha. I hope Jake can come over for atleast a little bit after I get home from school tomorrow..I still have a lot to talk to him about..Oh yeah..but I got home around 1am..then went to bed..
Today-Got up at 4:30..haha yeah 3 and 1/2 hours of sleep. I went to Lydia's..walked in and woke her up haha and we drove to Sara's house. Mrs Wilson was waiting for us..Lydia and I snuck into Sara's room..and dumped 60 balloons on her and jumped on her while screaming "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" haha. She was so confused..considerin it was 5am. It was so great.. we pulled her out of bed and told her we were talking her to breakfast exactly how she was. She had to stop and go to the bathroom first..and while we were waiting I wa slike "she better not be doing anything to get ready" and her mom whispers "dont' worry, I hid her contacts" haha and no lie..a few seconds later Sara opens the door and goes "where are my contacts?!" haha. So we dragged her to Country Cafe...got breakfast and jsut laughed over the stupidest things cuz we were all so tired and otu of it. Haha the card we got her said on the front "I wanted to get you the stars and the sun.." then on the inside it said "but I thought you'd rather have the moon" and it was a picture of a big guy...and when you opened the card..his pants fell down..showing his bare butt.. haha perfect for Sara. Yeahh it was great..I came home and fell back asleep til 1 again. Layed around..thinking..trying to do homewokr..haa even Jade had advice for me..
DanCinBayBee7854: kaylee...dont think too hard, cuz i know sometimez when u think too much about things it makes u sad and i dont want u to be sad..cuz its not cool when ur sad cuz ur such a great person..so just dont think tooo much about w/e it is that's botherin u
Goshh even she knows what's up..haha yeahh
Hm yeah things aren't the best here at home..dad's got to go on disability cuz of his back. We find out in like 6 weeks if he has to have back surgery..and if he does then he can't fly (he's a pilot for American Airlines) for a year. So even if he applies for disability righ tnow..he can't get it for 90 days. Which means we have to go the whole summer on no income--cuz my mom's a preschool teacher who only makes minimum wage and doesn't get an income over the summer. So not is that bad..my dad's going to be a major grouch and majorly depressed. How wonderful..too bad I got a dance scholarship for the summer last year..which means I can't get one this year..because that would help alot. If I have to stop dancing..I don't know what I'll do..but I doubt it'll come to that. Things are not going to be pleasant here..my mom says as soon as my dad agrees not to go to work..she'll convince the doctor to get him some anti-depressants..to make things a little easier around the house.
Yeah I'm done now..I've just let it all out..