Be prepared, I'm going to rant.
this is a rant, you've been warned.
Ok so a few months ago a said i was going to start to write in my live journal again, and yes i did keep that up for a while, maybe like a week or so, anyway, obviously i stopped, yet again i fell short of what i set out to do. truth is i'm depressed, i hate my entire situation right now, I live in what used to be my grandmother's house, now my mom and dad bought it to take care of her and i moved back because my mom asked me too, and since i was done with college i really saw no reason to stay in sunderland, and well i'm beginning to hate this house, but i have much more to rant about.
i "Graduated" from college, i say that in quotes since i still have no diploma, which opens up lingering doubts that i somehow failed some requirement to graduate, even though i was told i was graduating by my adviser and did the whole cap and gown thing. The lack of a diploma just leaves me with a feeling of incompleteness (holy shit that's a word, go spell check) And i'll have to say if for some reason i did get all my graduation requirements i'm not fucking going back, i burned all those bridges months ago, i have no more apartment, the mass commission for the blind isn't going to pay for any more semesters since i told them i graduated, and i'll get back to the commission for the blind later, i have more gripes with them.
I still have no job, i haven't found anything definative, a few places have my name on file as a freelancer graphic designer, but nothing has come from that since almost the four months i went to those interviews. One of the places that i went to was the place my mom works, a desent sized company that has their own in house graphic designer, or more or less an in house copy and paster, since that's all this retard does, and appearently they want to expand and have a full fledged marketing department, and as part of this department they'd what someone actually trained in graphic design. Apparently she worked at the company since day one and when it came time that they needed some flyers she ended up being the one to make them, and well they fucking suck. She knows nothing about graphic design or typography, and made mistakes that would make anyone that who even fancy themselves designers should be flogged for. The company logo didn't appear until the end of the page in the bottom right corner. The fucking bottom right corner! that's day one material, one of the first things you learn is that people will generally take in the information of a flyer the same way they would read a page in the book, that being said the bottom right hand corner is the last fucking place you would look. and she never put a date on any of them, what fucking purpose does a sales flyer serve if it has no fucking date on it? so to show them that i knew what i was talking about a redid a few of their flyers, cleaned of the typeface, put a big company logo on the top left hand corner with a banner using the company colors that included that date. and generally made the ad not suck, i also wrote up a paper telling them how i made the changes a why, and from what i heard they were impressed, did i get a job? No. Instead they aren't going to expand and instead are going to have the guy they have to maintain the website, who knows a little about photoshop do the flyers, but they liked my suggestions on the changes, since they have incorperated them into the new flyers. so yea job prospect number two!
And now back to the commission for the blind. as if trying to find a job in which i can use the skills i learned in college, (again don't know if i really graduated!) is hard enough i have my contact from the commission emailing me asking if i got a job yet, which i don't, and why do they want to know if i got a job you my ask? well since they payed for my college they want me to get a job to prove to the government that sending blind kids to college is cost efficient, so now i pretty much have a government organization pestering me to get a job since they payed for my learning and they want to keep getting funding, yea extra pressure.
But wait there's more! My left eye has decided to suck! and the left eye is the good eye, that's the one with the descent distance vision, right now as i type this i'm all hunched over on my laptop looking at the screen with my right eye which sucks for distance, but can focus perfectly on anything 3 inches from my face. So now every day the vision in my left eye seems to fluxuate between normal (for me) completely blurry, or a total fog with no real way to focus on anything. so now i wake up every morning wondering if i've gone blind in my left eye, which again would really put a damper in ever getting a job in GRAPHIC design. and my brother's an asshole, but i digress
or do i? yes my brother is a fucking asshole! he called me on my phone wednesday night and asked me what i wanted for christmas, and I said i don't know, i'd rather just get money. so he askes what i wanted money for, and i say, i want to buy an xbox 360, too which he says and I quote, "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED AN XBOX FOR! YOU ALREADY HAVE A DAMN WII, WHAT ARE YOU JUST GONNA SIT UPSTAIR IN MOM AND DAD'S HOUSE AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND WEIGHT 500 POUNDS?"
see i told you my brother is an asshole, but he is a special kind of asshole, he's an ungrateful prick. My brother is four inches taller than me, has awesome blue eyes, while i have, well you know what kind of eyes i have. he's much thinner than me, doesn't have allergies, doesn't have asthma, has a job that he loves, has a girlfriend, who i have only seen him only argue with and to me doesn't really seem like a loving relationship. that the thing that pisses me off more than anything is that as much as i hate my brother, and i do. i envy him. He has everything i have ever wanted in life. A good job, a girlfriend, and he's even going to have his own house soon if he ever gets off his ass and gets a mortgage for the house my mom and dad used to live in. and this thing is, having all of that, having all he has my brother is a cold angry fucking prick to everyone.
so yes i want money for christmas to but an xbox 360, but not so i can sit on my ass and play video games a weigh five hundred pounds, i want to get an xbox 360 so i can play games with my friends. reconnect with chris and caitlin again in a way i haven't since they moved to boston, maybe recememnt a friendship with tom and shane, and hopefully make a few new friends over xbox live, cause let's face it, i live in a crappy little town with a shitty inadaquate bus system and if i ever what to meet new people own my own, i'm going to do it on the internet, playing WoW and with an xbox, my life is not like his, when ever he is unhappy with his situation he can leave, get in his truck and drive to someplace better. Yes i don't have a girlfriend, i know i've tried, i failed, Scott has a girlfriend, and how did scott meet his girlfriend? well one night he got in his truck, drove to a bar and meet her randomly, did he ask me if i wanted to go the the bar? no of course not, why would he want to do that! oh yeah, and if my brother is so concerned about me weighing five hundred pounds you'd think he'd possibly consider picking me up to go to the gym, which he goes to every day after work, but no why would he do that? he much rather scream at me when he asks me what i want for christmas.
so that's my rant, i said what i wanted to say, it was long winded and probably riddled with spelling errors, but i can't be bothered to fix them right now, it doesn't matter any way, none of you are going to read this anyway.
merry christmas
Ok so a few months ago a said i was going to start to write in my live journal again, and yes i did keep that up for a while, maybe like a week or so, anyway, obviously i stopped, yet again i fell short of what i set out to do. truth is i'm depressed, i hate my entire situation right now, I live in what used to be my grandmother's house, now my mom and dad bought it to take care of her and i moved back because my mom asked me too, and since i was done with college i really saw no reason to stay in sunderland, and well i'm beginning to hate this house, but i have much more to rant about.
i "Graduated" from college, i say that in quotes since i still have no diploma, which opens up lingering doubts that i somehow failed some requirement to graduate, even though i was told i was graduating by my adviser and did the whole cap and gown thing. The lack of a diploma just leaves me with a feeling of incompleteness (holy shit that's a word, go spell check) And i'll have to say if for some reason i did get all my graduation requirements i'm not fucking going back, i burned all those bridges months ago, i have no more apartment, the mass commission for the blind isn't going to pay for any more semesters since i told them i graduated, and i'll get back to the commission for the blind later, i have more gripes with them.
I still have no job, i haven't found anything definative, a few places have my name on file as a freelancer graphic designer, but nothing has come from that since almost the four months i went to those interviews. One of the places that i went to was the place my mom works, a desent sized company that has their own in house graphic designer, or more or less an in house copy and paster, since that's all this retard does, and appearently they want to expand and have a full fledged marketing department, and as part of this department they'd what someone actually trained in graphic design. Apparently she worked at the company since day one and when it came time that they needed some flyers she ended up being the one to make them, and well they fucking suck. She knows nothing about graphic design or typography, and made mistakes that would make anyone that who even fancy themselves designers should be flogged for. The company logo didn't appear until the end of the page in the bottom right corner. The fucking bottom right corner! that's day one material, one of the first things you learn is that people will generally take in the information of a flyer the same way they would read a page in the book, that being said the bottom right hand corner is the last fucking place you would look. and she never put a date on any of them, what fucking purpose does a sales flyer serve if it has no fucking date on it? so to show them that i knew what i was talking about a redid a few of their flyers, cleaned of the typeface, put a big company logo on the top left hand corner with a banner using the company colors that included that date. and generally made the ad not suck, i also wrote up a paper telling them how i made the changes a why, and from what i heard they were impressed, did i get a job? No. Instead they aren't going to expand and instead are going to have the guy they have to maintain the website, who knows a little about photoshop do the flyers, but they liked my suggestions on the changes, since they have incorperated them into the new flyers. so yea job prospect number two!
And now back to the commission for the blind. as if trying to find a job in which i can use the skills i learned in college, (again don't know if i really graduated!) is hard enough i have my contact from the commission emailing me asking if i got a job yet, which i don't, and why do they want to know if i got a job you my ask? well since they payed for my college they want me to get a job to prove to the government that sending blind kids to college is cost efficient, so now i pretty much have a government organization pestering me to get a job since they payed for my learning and they want to keep getting funding, yea extra pressure.
But wait there's more! My left eye has decided to suck! and the left eye is the good eye, that's the one with the descent distance vision, right now as i type this i'm all hunched over on my laptop looking at the screen with my right eye which sucks for distance, but can focus perfectly on anything 3 inches from my face. So now every day the vision in my left eye seems to fluxuate between normal (for me) completely blurry, or a total fog with no real way to focus on anything. so now i wake up every morning wondering if i've gone blind in my left eye, which again would really put a damper in ever getting a job in GRAPHIC design. and my brother's an asshole, but i digress
or do i? yes my brother is a fucking asshole! he called me on my phone wednesday night and asked me what i wanted for christmas, and I said i don't know, i'd rather just get money. so he askes what i wanted money for, and i say, i want to buy an xbox 360, too which he says and I quote, "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED AN XBOX FOR! YOU ALREADY HAVE A DAMN WII, WHAT ARE YOU JUST GONNA SIT UPSTAIR IN MOM AND DAD'S HOUSE AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND WEIGHT 500 POUNDS?"
see i told you my brother is an asshole, but he is a special kind of asshole, he's an ungrateful prick. My brother is four inches taller than me, has awesome blue eyes, while i have, well you know what kind of eyes i have. he's much thinner than me, doesn't have allergies, doesn't have asthma, has a job that he loves, has a girlfriend, who i have only seen him only argue with and to me doesn't really seem like a loving relationship. that the thing that pisses me off more than anything is that as much as i hate my brother, and i do. i envy him. He has everything i have ever wanted in life. A good job, a girlfriend, and he's even going to have his own house soon if he ever gets off his ass and gets a mortgage for the house my mom and dad used to live in. and this thing is, having all of that, having all he has my brother is a cold angry fucking prick to everyone.
so yes i want money for christmas to but an xbox 360, but not so i can sit on my ass and play video games a weigh five hundred pounds, i want to get an xbox 360 so i can play games with my friends. reconnect with chris and caitlin again in a way i haven't since they moved to boston, maybe recememnt a friendship with tom and shane, and hopefully make a few new friends over xbox live, cause let's face it, i live in a crappy little town with a shitty inadaquate bus system and if i ever what to meet new people own my own, i'm going to do it on the internet, playing WoW and with an xbox, my life is not like his, when ever he is unhappy with his situation he can leave, get in his truck and drive to someplace better. Yes i don't have a girlfriend, i know i've tried, i failed, Scott has a girlfriend, and how did scott meet his girlfriend? well one night he got in his truck, drove to a bar and meet her randomly, did he ask me if i wanted to go the the bar? no of course not, why would he want to do that! oh yeah, and if my brother is so concerned about me weighing five hundred pounds you'd think he'd possibly consider picking me up to go to the gym, which he goes to every day after work, but no why would he do that? he much rather scream at me when he asks me what i want for christmas.
so that's my rant, i said what i wanted to say, it was long winded and probably riddled with spelling errors, but i can't be bothered to fix them right now, it doesn't matter any way, none of you are going to read this anyway.
merry christmas