(no subject)
I sit here thinking about the past and I just wonder what was good about it and I find the good things and I think about how I can bring the good things back in my personality. I used to never worry about the it could be. I always worried about what could happen and so on. I am just going through this phase because I have one more year left and then Grad school yikes! The real world lets see.
I have all of these dreams of working in the feild of children. I have always wanted to be a guardian adlitem since I was a little girl. I have always wanted to help children! It is so weird to see me actually forseeing it happen. I can remember when someone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I would say a Lawyer. My mom and dad would always joke with me about me being a good person to argue with. HAHAHAHA I would always say to myself. I mean its true because I had alot of things that happened to me as a kid. People always would say to my mom that she had a smart little girl on her hands and she would say I know. I was until I got into highschool in a way. I had a rough time up until the mid of my sophomore year that I had trouble adjusting to the new environment. Here I am a Junior in college and I have my Gpa finally back up YAY! So excited. My freshman year was good and my sophomore year was eh alright but now its great!
Ok here is a delemma I have been having lately. I am a runner when it comes to my feelings and I hate it. I have always gotten scared of falling for someone so I would push them away and as I did that I felt better about it. But its like why can't I let myself love someone probably because I am afraid its going to become about one thing and thats the thing it did when I fell for Mark and as the time went on I got sick of it and left.
My ultimate dream man lol hahaha when I was young was a tall bulk man with blond hair and had to have gorgeous eyes and I had to be able to have a good conversation with him. It was always so vague to me! It still is. I get close to someone and then run cause I am scared of falling for them. Yup thats the thing. The other night I was told that I can't be scared I have to learn to love that person and that person will eventually love me back. How can I do that? You tell me how can that happen.
I think I am gonna make a journal where I can write and eventually someone or many can read it. But ehh who knows. I think Kawishiwa is coming to an end I really do because I know I am a dreamer and that is in my heart and I will always know that! Lots of hugs Trisha
I have all of these dreams of working in the feild of children. I have always wanted to be a guardian adlitem since I was a little girl. I have always wanted to help children! It is so weird to see me actually forseeing it happen. I can remember when someone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I would say a Lawyer. My mom and dad would always joke with me about me being a good person to argue with. HAHAHAHA I would always say to myself. I mean its true because I had alot of things that happened to me as a kid. People always would say to my mom that she had a smart little girl on her hands and she would say I know. I was until I got into highschool in a way. I had a rough time up until the mid of my sophomore year that I had trouble adjusting to the new environment. Here I am a Junior in college and I have my Gpa finally back up YAY! So excited. My freshman year was good and my sophomore year was eh alright but now its great!
Ok here is a delemma I have been having lately. I am a runner when it comes to my feelings and I hate it. I have always gotten scared of falling for someone so I would push them away and as I did that I felt better about it. But its like why can't I let myself love someone probably because I am afraid its going to become about one thing and thats the thing it did when I fell for Mark and as the time went on I got sick of it and left.
My ultimate dream man lol hahaha when I was young was a tall bulk man with blond hair and had to have gorgeous eyes and I had to be able to have a good conversation with him. It was always so vague to me! It still is. I get close to someone and then run cause I am scared of falling for them. Yup thats the thing. The other night I was told that I can't be scared I have to learn to love that person and that person will eventually love me back. How can I do that? You tell me how can that happen.
I think I am gonna make a journal where I can write and eventually someone or many can read it. But ehh who knows. I think Kawishiwa is coming to an end I really do because I know I am a dreamer and that is in my heart and I will always know that! Lots of hugs Trisha