(no subject)
UGH...reasons why i'm bummed out right now:
i need a job.. the things i had lined up fell through.
i have no money.. don't know if i can continue living here, paying rent and bills, and eating.
dan might move out. which means my rent might go up. fuck.
apparently i'm the only goddamned person that can CLEAN around here.... so i do too many dishes that aren't mine. i don't understand what is so hard about cleaning up shit that you spill! on the stove, or the floor, or whatever. fuck.
I dont get any mail. stupid, but, grrr.
I miss nick. I don't think im going to get to see him this weekend either... I can't keep driving down to hamilton.. I've got a life here too. I always make the phone calls because i have free long distance from the house, and free long distance between 8 and 11 on my cell.
I touch/kiss him from top to toe. I try and find his sensitive spots... HELLO I HAVE THOSE TOO AND REALLY LIKE BEING TOUCHED!
Im lonely. both mike and jeff have their girlfriends here on a regular.
in fact, mike and subi are fucking right now, 'cause i can hear her... ugh.. *turns up music*
Kate's sick and can't come out to play.
I'm sorta avoiding KM because he makes me feel very awkward, as every time he crashes here, he tries something sexual while I'm sleeping, and its fucking me up.
Vanessa is really busy studying... which im happy for her about, that she's serious about school... but Because i'm not living in rez, it means i never see her...and every time i hang out with her, its usually because dan made plans with evan and vanessa or something and I happen to be around, or live here.
RJ hasn't been around either.. to talk to or to hang out with.
mostly, im lonely. I miss my cats... these cats dont like cuddling or anything. they just piss on stuff. fuckers.
Dan's been complaining at me constantly about his room, his walls, his floor, mike, the darts, etc... and its really negative and is starting to get on my nerves.
this house really fucking smells. If not like cat litter, it smells like some other unknown disgusting substance.
People seem to go through about a roll a day of toilet paper. A ROLL A DAY. I'm sorry but you guys can't shit that much, and Alida and I dont take half the roll every time we wipe. holy jeeze.
Plus, no one ever emptoes the garbage cans.. its gross.
I broke down and cleaned the entire kitchen and bathroom today, did i mention that?
the fucking bathroom was SO GRODY.
I hardly ever use it...
I only cleaned it because I am ashamed to send guests into there. ugh.
Every time i turn around theres mess. mess mess mess and clutter. its aggravating.
im just fucking irate and grrrr.
I tried to tell Nick about my badish day... but my INTERNET IS A FUCKING COCKTARD! it cuts in and out in and out.. msn signs in and out in and out...
and then he went for a bike ride... so0ooo... basically im on my own.
fuck this shit... I'm personally increasing my meds to 250 again. ARGH.
oh yea, I have to go to York Lanes to get my headaches checked out. fuck.
most importantly...I feel very friendless, due to the fact that everyone has separated this year. too much drama.
people tell me not to trust some people. and vice versa. the only ones i can trust are apparently me myself and I... *sigh*
at least...i'm going to the chiropractors tommorrow, so that will feel good, and then I'm getting my tattoo touched up FINALLY on friday at 2:30.
i still don't get to see nick. sigh.
i need a job.. the things i had lined up fell through.
i have no money.. don't know if i can continue living here, paying rent and bills, and eating.
dan might move out. which means my rent might go up. fuck.
apparently i'm the only goddamned person that can CLEAN around here.... so i do too many dishes that aren't mine. i don't understand what is so hard about cleaning up shit that you spill! on the stove, or the floor, or whatever. fuck.
I dont get any mail. stupid, but, grrr.
I miss nick. I don't think im going to get to see him this weekend either... I can't keep driving down to hamilton.. I've got a life here too. I always make the phone calls because i have free long distance from the house, and free long distance between 8 and 11 on my cell.
I touch/kiss him from top to toe. I try and find his sensitive spots... HELLO I HAVE THOSE TOO AND REALLY LIKE BEING TOUCHED!
Im lonely. both mike and jeff have their girlfriends here on a regular.
in fact, mike and subi are fucking right now, 'cause i can hear her... ugh.. *turns up music*
Kate's sick and can't come out to play.
I'm sorta avoiding KM because he makes me feel very awkward, as every time he crashes here, he tries something sexual while I'm sleeping, and its fucking me up.
Vanessa is really busy studying... which im happy for her about, that she's serious about school... but Because i'm not living in rez, it means i never see her...and every time i hang out with her, its usually because dan made plans with evan and vanessa or something and I happen to be around, or live here.
RJ hasn't been around either.. to talk to or to hang out with.
mostly, im lonely. I miss my cats... these cats dont like cuddling or anything. they just piss on stuff. fuckers.
Dan's been complaining at me constantly about his room, his walls, his floor, mike, the darts, etc... and its really negative and is starting to get on my nerves.
this house really fucking smells. If not like cat litter, it smells like some other unknown disgusting substance.
People seem to go through about a roll a day of toilet paper. A ROLL A DAY. I'm sorry but you guys can't shit that much, and Alida and I dont take half the roll every time we wipe. holy jeeze.
Plus, no one ever emptoes the garbage cans.. its gross.
I broke down and cleaned the entire kitchen and bathroom today, did i mention that?
the fucking bathroom was SO GRODY.
I hardly ever use it...
I only cleaned it because I am ashamed to send guests into there. ugh.
Every time i turn around theres mess. mess mess mess and clutter. its aggravating.
im just fucking irate and grrrr.
I tried to tell Nick about my badish day... but my INTERNET IS A FUCKING COCKTARD! it cuts in and out in and out.. msn signs in and out in and out...
and then he went for a bike ride... so0ooo... basically im on my own.
fuck this shit... I'm personally increasing my meds to 250 again. ARGH.
oh yea, I have to go to York Lanes to get my headaches checked out. fuck.
most importantly...I feel very friendless, due to the fact that everyone has separated this year. too much drama.
people tell me not to trust some people. and vice versa. the only ones i can trust are apparently me myself and I... *sigh*
at least...i'm going to the chiropractors tommorrow, so that will feel good, and then I'm getting my tattoo touched up FINALLY on friday at 2:30.
i still don't get to see nick. sigh.