Unsure and careful...

[kawaiijewel]

Jason and I talked in person for the first time in a long time yesterday. After everything that has happened and his insecurities, I was concerned and now I have doubts. Maybe I worry needlessly, but I can't help it. On the positive side, he said he was done freaking out and would like to work with me and try a more communicative relationship. He's had a difficult time telling me how he feels and what he's thinking--making it impossible for me to help reduce some of that stress and doubt. The doubt is what has been the hardest to deal with.. Maybe it's not the right word to use.. but doubt can really make me worry more. I'm glad we're trying again, and I really think if we both work at it we can make it. I'm just really scared he's going to suddenly decide it's not worth it.

I was over at his place for a bit today. My picture by his bed was face down. If he wasn't upset with me and loved me through all this and was only worried about the future.. why would it be face down? I can see if the situation was reversed I'd agree.. but that really hurt.