(no subject)
I feel as if the world is kind of cruel. Don't get me wrong because I know eventually I will find what is good and cheery about it but.. I feel as if the world spit me out and dropped me into a big maze and said, "Okay. Ready. Go. Now. Go!" Go where? Am I trying to get out? Am I trying to find something? What about doors and people? How do I know who will hurt me? Is this safe? What if I get hurt, who will save me? What if I get myself into a mad mess and not only am I physically trapped (which is odd because it's all in my head) I am also mentally trapped. Where can I find answers? What if I'm stuck forever? What if I want to curl up and cry. It's so hopeless..
I was informed by two teachers today I may not get credit for their classes, not only that but I also find where my friends lie.
So here it is. Flat out. I know I have friends. I have to, why would people talk to me if I didn't. I know who are my read friends are the people who care.. but they care when I'm not fucked up too. Why can't you let me be me? I don't need to be fixed.. I'm fine. It brings me back to elementary school when I learned that my friends didn't really like me. I was the pathetic pity friend. Nobody wants to be that friend.
And why am I telling this all to a random assortment of friends, random people and strangers?
It just feels good to talk to somebody about my feelings without oweing them anything.
Take it as you will, but I stand by it that I am intirely normal with ambitions and dreams... I just am a little confused..
I was informed by two teachers today I may not get credit for their classes, not only that but I also find where my friends lie.
So here it is. Flat out. I know I have friends. I have to, why would people talk to me if I didn't. I know who are my read friends are the people who care.. but they care when I'm not fucked up too. Why can't you let me be me? I don't need to be fixed.. I'm fine. It brings me back to elementary school when I learned that my friends didn't really like me. I was the pathetic pity friend. Nobody wants to be that friend.
And why am I telling this all to a random assortment of friends, random people and strangers?
It just feels good to talk to somebody about my feelings without oweing them anything.
Take it as you will, but I stand by it that I am intirely normal with ambitions and dreams... I just am a little confused..