Dare Drabble Meme Results:

May 08, 2009 00:51

Hey I managed to write two of the drabbles that I was dared to write from this post.

They're both from Chrno Crusade with possible spoilers involved so if you plan on reading it then, I'm sorry. As much as it pains me to say this, I'd avoid reading my drabbles -TTWTT-

I haven't forgotten about the drabble I still owe you, ladynathena, so don't worry~ ->W<- ( Read more... )

tomodachi, chrno crusade, kinchou, drabble

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haleysings May 8 2009, 21:39:58 UTC
Oooh, these were both really good! <3 Aion/Fiore is still a little bit creepy to me, but the reasoning behind the scene made sense. My only critique on it is I think the word "humane" isn't quite what you're looking for--that means something more along of compassion and sympathy for other people and animals. Fiore might have that, but it doesn't make much sense in the context it's in. I can't figure out a word that means exactly what you're looking for..."aware", maybe? Cognizant?
...Unless you just mean human, in which case I'm overanalyzing this. XD

And the Chrono/Aion one...T_T That was so sad! I like the idea of Aion and Chrono acknowledging their relationship a final time before Aion dies. And the contrast between Aion and Chrono, too--Aion going out with a smile while Chrono watches with tears in his eyes, for example. Aion's at peace with his choice, and Chrono still has nothing but questions. (But, ha, that's probably me putting my own feelings about the characters and story onto the piece.)

My main critique with that one is that it's a little hard to tell who's being talked about. For example: He slowly closed the remaining gap between them as his left hand took a hold of his right. Aion's left hand, right? Is he holding his own hand, or Chrono's? (I know logically it's Chrono, but it's not clear from this sentence.) Don't be afraid to use their names a little more often to make it clearer!

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kawaii_gaara May 10 2009, 08:27:37 UTC
Thank you so much! lolol yea, they would be a weird pair but I don't know... something about those two I like a lot ->W<-;;;; Oh God a kink!? LOLOL aa I see yea I think I was trying to be overly fancy with it~ ->W<-;;;; I just meant human OTL so yea I'll change that to human instead~ -TTWTT-;;;

Yeaaaaaaaaaaa I'm sooo sorry I could only think of sad ones -TTWTT-;;;; I'll have to think of a happy one for them then but that scene was the only thing I could think of at the moment~ -TTWTT-;;; And yep~ that's what I was going for~<333 I wasn't sure if Chrno was too emotional there but yeaaa~ ->W<-;;;

Yea, I came to realize that quite a bit doing this piece. Like I said, I always like to challenge myself and try managing it so it's a bit more mysterious not even sure if that's what I was aiming for~ ->W<-;;;; but errrr... I'll try and use their name instead more especially if I'm not using a vague scene and I want ppl guessing it~ ->W<-;;; I'll add the names before posting it on DA~<3333

Thank you so much for reading them~! Much appreciated~<3333

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haleysings May 10 2009, 08:44:08 UTC
XD I think I almost like it, too, but at the same time it's...creepy. I'm torn. LOL, what sort of kink would that be? Mind control? Or just a think for emotionless girls? Oooh, I gotcha. Yeah, fancy words are good, but you gotta make sure the meaning is the right one you're looking for. Using a dictionary is good for that (I checked humane in the dictionary before commenting, actually)--dictionary.com works just fine and is free, so yeah.

It's okay! Sad is great when written well! I'm an angst whore, and Aion/Chrono...I mean...They have happy moments, but their relationship (whether romantic, platonic or brotherly) is going to end up tragically. And I don't think Chrono was too emotional...he's really one of the most emotional characters in the series (besides Rosette, and maybe Azmaria), and finding out someone you used to respect and care for is really your brother, but you have to kill him anyway...I wouldn't be surprised if Chrono mourned him. Even knowing all the horrible things he did and being unable to forgive him for it, I still don't think he'd be able to feel something other than sadness at Aion's death. (Actually, I've sort of toyed with the idea of canon-updating Chrono to after that point to play with that, but I'm not sure if I'm finished with developing pre-carnival Chrono or not.)

Yeah. XD;; Experimenting is good! And some mystery can sometimes be good, too. But I think readers like clarity...if that makes sense. I keep saying stuff I learned in Creative Writing class. XD;

You're welcome! Thank you for writing them!

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kawaii_gaara May 10 2009, 08:53:18 UTC
M-Master and slave type kink? *SHOT* ->x<-;;; Hm hm yea, I'm usually pretty good with that but alas it has gotten to me~ Lack of sleep didn't help either~ I couldn't sleep cuz all these ideas were floating in my mind and I had to get it all down before I forget them~ -@w@-;;;; lolol My creativity drive is weird~ But Yusss I totally agree!

*phew* I'm glad to hear that~ -TTWTT- and Yea, I've been giving it a thought too. Not sure from where I'd want to take him but it's been crossing my mind too lately. We need a good curse to reveal ittttttttttt~<3333333333

Yea definitely, I added their names in certain spots so it's not too "Chrno did this. and Aion did that." but I think enough to help the reader know who's who? And I actually purposefully separated the paragraphs so that the first part is Aion and the second part is Chrno~ sooo hopefully with those patterns and the added names it's a little more clearer than before~<333 If you're interested in what changes I made here you go~<33 LOL That's awesome!

Not at all~<333333333333333333

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haleysings May 10 2009, 09:07:25 UTC
LOOOOOOL maybe that's it. XDDD So you like a master-and-servant sort of thing and I like...puppets. With a side of mind-control. We're....quite a pair. XD Oooh, lack of sleep I can understand. And I kinda know what you mean about writing down ideas, too. XD Although I don't normally get a drive quite that big, but sometimes I just HAVE to write.

"It" being their relationship? I've been thinking that. XD Particularly now that we've only got the twins and Mary...it'd be an interesting plot twist to pull. Actually, it might be fun to see how pre-Carnageival Chrono deals with learning about Aion being his brother. Hmmmm...

That works much better. <33 Not too redundant, but the clarity is really kicked up a notch. Nicely done!

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kawaii_gaara May 10 2009, 09:13:44 UTC
Y-Yeaaaaaaaaaaaa~~ -TTWTT-;;;;; There's something about it that yeaa... intrigues me OTL OTL OTL yusss we are quite the pair~ ->W<-;;; Hm hm yeaa, I've had nights were I'd suddenly wake up and have to go find paper and pencil/pen to write something down~ ->W<-;;;; It's not often but when it does happen it's usually a good idea~~ so I try to comply~ LOL

Yuuuuuuuuuuusssss~~<33333 And I know, right? -TTxTT- I agree~ LOLOL awwww poor Chrno~ -TTWTT- *pet pet*

Phew~ yaaaay I'm so glad it does~<333 Thank you thank you~ ->W<- <333333

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haleysings May 10 2009, 09:26:43 UTC
XD I can understand that somewhat, then. Come to think of it, I've seen that in the tutu fandom, too...b-but it was even worse there OTL oh man XD KINK MEMES, MAN. Scary stuff! Ooooh, hey, I think that's great! If you've got an impulse, go with it! ...I wake up and just wonder dazedly where I am, what day it is, and if I've slept past noon again. XD;;

We'll have to see if we can set up something with that, maybe~ Sometime after Aion/Ahiru stuff, maybe. xDDDD

<3 You're welcome!

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kawaii_gaara May 10 2009, 10:07:44 UTC
LOLOL Tho interesting~ ->W<-;;

LOLOL Definitely~<3333

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