my thoughts to you<3...although you may never read this...
i know i get mad at you sometimes & i don't want to...it just upsets me when you go out with your friends(cuz you kind of do it alot) because that's time that you spend away from me, PLUS the fact that you never call me or attempt to come see me when you get back into calallen. i love being around you even if we're just laying down & watching tv or sleeping next to each other. i also love being around you even if we have one of our stupid little arguments & end up mad at each other. lol. argument or not though, you make me soo incredibly happy. i don't think you have any clue as to EXACTLY how happy i am when i'm with you. i also love how comfortable we are with each other(like when i ACCIDENTALLY farted on you lol). i'm also SOO used to waking up & seeing you next to me that it's hard to fall asleep without you by my side. there's just so much that i love about you that it would take me forever & a year to list everything.
last night we had a really deep conversation & i know i asked you if you really meant the things that you told me(& you said yes), but i don't understand why you get angry when i ask you things like that. i asked if you really meant what you said because i want this to work more than anything. i see how much you care about not JUST me, but me & corbin & that really means alot...to both of us(even though he can't tell you himself). i know you aren't corbin's biological father, but no matter what you say you have been here for him just like a father. & i know you can call him "yours" but he will never really be "YOURS"(as you stated last night) because he isn't "made from YOUR sperm", but even if he didn't come from you it doesn't mean he can't be yours. i know you said that you aren't ready for that YET because it takes time, but whether it's now or later...when you're ready, i'll be ready.
we'll be waiting for you to get out of bootcamp so you can come back to us!! & NO i won't find anyone else when you're gone so stop asking me that!! :)
ohh yeah..another thing about last night. i know i threw down the L word twice. i didn't intend to scare you or anything & whether you believe it or not, it's how i feel...& you telling me how you felt just made me want to tell you how i felt. :)
...i love you.