an interesting read, thanks for posting. it's hard to know what to say as I didn't personally feel any challenges thrown forth in the writing.
as you are aware I am a former Christian who is exploring but not yet fully embracing Buddhism. (i doubt i ever will). but i like the teacher's line "Don't believe me, experience this great dharma for yourself."
I know that I have found peace through contemplations inspired by reading zen buddhist works.
I know that i was torn, divided and very much NOT at peace when I had a 'loving Father' watching over me.
For me there is a lot more solace in knowing that my own peace lies within me, that _I_ have the power to influence my thought and deal with my problems. God never gave me answers. _I_ gave me answers and I ignored them because there were of my own devising. Now I get my own answers.
When I choose peace I now have peace.
Learning about Buddhism has given me a respect for people, for essence, for truth that Christianity severely damaged. Yeah, you care about someone's soul and all but that heathen is just an object to the converted. Very few Christians embrace the individual and learn about them personally, for so many it's just a quest to save lost souls. And the part that sucks is that I know they sincerely mean well even as they are pissing people off and closing hearts to their own cause forever. I now look upon that process with a sad compassion for all involved.
My peace right now is tremendous. I am in love more than I have ever been, love to die for, and that relationship might never work out. And while that would be very sad I also know that due to recent training of my own mind in non-attachment and in respecting 'otherness' I will be okay and satisfied with wherever I end up. As a Christian I would have felt immense sorrow, displeasure at having mis-ascertained God's will yet again and I'd have likely held on long after the opportunity had died 'knowing' that it would work out because otherwise I wouldn't have felt the conviction I did.
Yes, my peace no longer bears the shape of a cross. If anything, it bears the shape of nothingness.
as you are aware I am a former Christian who is exploring but not yet fully embracing Buddhism. (i doubt i ever will). but i like the teacher's line "Don't believe me, experience this great dharma for yourself."
I know that I have found peace through contemplations inspired by reading zen buddhist works.
I know that i was torn, divided and very much NOT at peace when I had a 'loving Father' watching over me.
For me there is a lot more solace in knowing that my own peace lies within me, that _I_ have the power to influence my thought and deal with my problems. God never gave me answers. _I_ gave me answers and I ignored them because there were of my own devising. Now I get my own answers.
When I choose peace I now have peace.
Learning about Buddhism has given me a respect for people, for essence, for truth that Christianity severely damaged. Yeah, you care about someone's soul and all but that heathen is just an object to the converted. Very few Christians embrace the individual and learn about them personally, for so many it's just a quest to save lost souls. And the part that sucks is that I know they sincerely mean well even as they are pissing people off and closing hearts to their own cause forever. I now look upon that process with a sad compassion for all involved.
My peace right now is tremendous. I am in love more than I have ever been, love to die for, and that relationship might never work out. And while that would be very sad I also know that due to recent training of my own mind in non-attachment and in respecting 'otherness' I will be okay and satisfied with wherever I end up. As a Christian I would have felt immense sorrow, displeasure at having mis-ascertained God's will yet again and I'd have likely held on long after the opportunity had died 'knowing' that it would work out because otherwise I wouldn't have felt the conviction I did.
Yes, my peace no longer bears the shape of a cross. If anything, it bears the shape of nothingness.
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