Santa is GAY??
I totally didn't suspect from all the propaganda I've seen on the old man that I would ever find out in my 30's that Santa Claus is gay.
Story:
We went to Old Country Buffet last night for dinner (think what you will, you get what you want and that's a blessing!). As we walk in, we find a sign on the door stating Santa will be there from 5-8 today, 'have dinner with Santa.' Perfect! We get to see Santa! How wonderul!
When we went to pay, I see a man in a red shirt, white beard, no hat. Looks like Santa. Pretty casual for Santa, but hey, he's having dinner too, right? Turns out, it was just a guy that looked like Santa. The OCB Santa was on the other side of the restaurant talking to some kids.
He looked the part, even down to his crappy spats. All was "normal" until we got closer to the table where he was sitting with another family. He had a high-pitched voice, barely filled his Santa suit, had the afforementioned crappy spats and his beard was yellowed.
WTF?? My kids are going to be exposed to this attrocity?! My youngest girl, who won't even sit on the most authentic Santa's lap will have to endure a visit from THIS guy?! Where's that other guy? I want him!
We pretty much avoided him most of our meal until he decided it was time to talk to us. Santa doesn't ask what kids names are. He shouldn't say "Now what your name?" If the parents don't give it up, he should re-phrase it to a "Oh, I see so many kids this time of year. What is your name again little girl/boy?" He talked to us like we were his neighbors. And then didn't even play up the whole "I'm Santa! Ho ho ho!!" He told us about his Chihuahuas. CHIHUAHUAS?!! Santa doesn't have CHIHUAHUAS!! He has REINDEER, dumb-ass! Who the hell hired this guy? So now I'm trying to play it off like he's toying with us. I mean really?! Plus he's asking my 9 MONTH OLD what he wants for Christmas! He didn't ask the girls what the baby wanted, he asked the BABY!
It was unbelieveable. And it truly didn't help that his voice was so high. Aeryn said when he left, "Mommy, his voice was weird." We had to play it off like he was an elf helping Santa. Seriously. It was ridiculous.
Story:
We went to Old Country Buffet last night for dinner (think what you will, you get what you want and that's a blessing!). As we walk in, we find a sign on the door stating Santa will be there from 5-8 today, 'have dinner with Santa.' Perfect! We get to see Santa! How wonderul!
When we went to pay, I see a man in a red shirt, white beard, no hat. Looks like Santa. Pretty casual for Santa, but hey, he's having dinner too, right? Turns out, it was just a guy that looked like Santa. The OCB Santa was on the other side of the restaurant talking to some kids.
He looked the part, even down to his crappy spats. All was "normal" until we got closer to the table where he was sitting with another family. He had a high-pitched voice, barely filled his Santa suit, had the afforementioned crappy spats and his beard was yellowed.
WTF?? My kids are going to be exposed to this attrocity?! My youngest girl, who won't even sit on the most authentic Santa's lap will have to endure a visit from THIS guy?! Where's that other guy? I want him!
We pretty much avoided him most of our meal until he decided it was time to talk to us. Santa doesn't ask what kids names are. He shouldn't say "Now what your name?" If the parents don't give it up, he should re-phrase it to a "Oh, I see so many kids this time of year. What is your name again little girl/boy?" He talked to us like we were his neighbors. And then didn't even play up the whole "I'm Santa! Ho ho ho!!" He told us about his Chihuahuas. CHIHUAHUAS?!! Santa doesn't have CHIHUAHUAS!! He has REINDEER, dumb-ass! Who the hell hired this guy? So now I'm trying to play it off like he's toying with us. I mean really?! Plus he's asking my 9 MONTH OLD what he wants for Christmas! He didn't ask the girls what the baby wanted, he asked the BABY!
It was unbelieveable. And it truly didn't help that his voice was so high. Aeryn said when he left, "Mommy, his voice was weird." We had to play it off like he was an elf helping Santa. Seriously. It was ridiculous.